If you have doubts, then seek advice from a doctor
Taking responsibility means that you can then wait impatiently to see if you did the right thing or if you made a mistake. And if something happens, blame and blame yourself. The best solution is to share responsibility. Doubt? Ask a pediatrician for advice, one...the other... Compare their advice. If this is not enough, ask the third one. This way you will get the full picture and go from there. Before giving birth, by the way, you will need to “stock up” with contacts of pediatricians, and also choose a family doctor. Also, the first week after childbirth is the process of establishing breastfeeding. Despite the fact that the process is natural, there are many controversial issues and myths. Whether to supplement the baby with formula when it is really justified, whether to stick to a diet during breastfeeding, whether sleeping on the stomach affects the appearance of lactostasis - the answers to these and other questions can be found out from a lactation consultant. You need to get to know him even before giving birth. In the modern world, a face-to-face meeting is not necessary; it is quite possible to conduct it online.
So many opinions
Sometimes it seems that a pregnant woman is surrounded only by gynecologists who know what the stomach should be like, that she has obvious anemia (determined without tests) ... Then, after giving birth, gynecologists retrain as pediatricians. Now, of course, we are joking, but we know that many have encountered this situation. The mother-in-law advises bathing the child in a series, the mother-in-law does not boil the water at all, a friend says that chamomile should be added and only that. There are many opinions about what to do, what if I do something wrong, and what if this feeling of guilt comes back? To avoid stress, see point #1. As the pediatrician advises, this is what you should do, but you need to take into account that all children are different, and what suits one may not suit another. Listen to qualified advice, but leave room for mistakes.
Newborn in the family: first 3 months of life
First month
On the advice of your doctor, you regularly place your baby on his tummy. head , which is still too heavy for his thin neck.
. Don’t forget to stroke tense muscles, this will help them strengthen and stimulate your baby to new feats.
His periods of wakefulness gradually increase. The baby observes the world around him from the crib or his mother’s hands with obvious interest, listens to sounds, and concentrates on trying to distinguish intonations. During feeding, the baby shows interest in the facial expressions of his mother’s face and slowly tries to follow her. He touchingly and clumsily sticks out his tongue, moves his lips, raises his eyebrows. The development of facial muscles will help him in the future when pronouncing sounds, so don’t be shy to show your child how they can be controlled.
The process of mastering the movements of arms and legs is successfully underway:
- - the baby can already move them smoothly and rhythmically,
- - speed up or slow down.
Vision and hearing are developing, which means the short but very important time for bright mobiles and rattles has arrived. You have already become accustomed to the role of mother and by the intonation of crying you can determine what is bothering the baby:
- - a sharp demanding cry - he is hungry,
- - aching, irritated whine - tired and wants to sleep,
- - a sharp, offended protest - your tummy hurts or you just feel very lonely without your mother.
Second month
The baby has clearly gotten stronger, grown up and is already raising his head, albeit for a short time. “waving hands” and “drag-legging” is coming
: do not deny your baby the opportunity to move freely during air baths, but do not risk leaving her alone. There is still time before crawling, but the baby will master “flying” much earlier.
The grasping reflex gradually weakens, and the baby opens his palms, happily acquiring the skill of mastering his fingers. Do not deny these fingers and palms an additional gentle massage; caress, smooth, tickle the pink palm. The development of fine motor skills has begun, which means that intellectual capabilities and speech centers have acquired the possibility of additional stimulation. At this time, the baby acquires the tactile skill of identifying hard and soft.
The time spent awake continues to increase, and the baby makes good use of it. He can already follow the rattle not only in the horizontal, but also in the vertical plane, and is clearly waiting for you, noticing that you are nearby.
Third month
When communicating with you, the baby makes new sounds. In addition to crying, the so-called humming will appear in his repertoire. You will sing “aguu” to your baby and in response you will hear “guu”
.
The baby already reacts differently to the voice of mom and dad. Don’t forget that in addition to affectionate words, this little man also has a name
which is already recorded in his first documents. And very soon he will begin to turn his head and look for you with his eyes, reacting to intonation and the usual combination of sounds.
He is obviously amused by affectionate touches to his nose, fingers, arms, legs, forehead and other parts of the body.
The baby pays attention to various sounds. Recordings of classical music are already in use - for a relaxing time, the sound of rain - for better falling asleep, birdsong - for awakening, and other sounds of nature. Select your child’s first music library based not only on your taste, but also on his. Your baby will love your onomatopoeia exercises (what could be funnier than dad meowing in a bass voice?).
Don't forget to introduce him to the familiar sounds of the house. For example, he probably won’t understand the word “hairdryer” yet, but his mother’s calm reaction to this sound will remain in his memory and help him avoid tears.
It's time to play
Even such a little one already loves to play. Hide and seek is beginning to become the most popular
.
To play you will need a handkerchief, the edge of a blanket or just your palms. Cover your face, and then look out to the right, hide again - look out to the left, above, below. Your radiant smile and touching “peek-a-boo”
will strengthen his confidence: “If mom is not visible now, it means that she will appear soon.” Both fun and useful, as in any ancient children's game.
The game is fun to develop coordination and balance. Let's master turns.
Take the baby in your arms first with his back to you and rock him from side to side, while singing funny songs. Then turn your face and, holding the baby’s head slightly, do the same. Change your baby's position several times until you get bored and move on to new tasks.
- - “Let's pump up the muscles.”
During everyday chores and care, do not forget to strengthen the child’s muscle corset. Place the baby on a hard surface on his back, take his legs in your hands and gently bend them alternately, imitating riding a bicycle, while humming a rhythmic song (for example: “We are going, going, going to distant lands ...”). Straighten your legs, lightly pat your feet, and the baby will clench his toes and pull his legs towards him. Also play with your hands and finish with soft, soothing strokes. - - “Let's talk
. Alternating active exercises with rest, we will talk a little with the baby, continuing to help him develop his facial muscles and articulatory apparatus. We stick out our tongue and pronounce various sounds, and now we hide our tongue and say them again. The baby will certainly try to “buzz” something in response. - - “Kolobok.”
The baby tries to roll over from tummy to back and back. Help your child cope with this difficult task for him. Place the baby on his back on a hard surface, support him by the ankle and thigh, and place one leg on top of the other. Please do not make any effort - the baby will try to roll over on its own. Return the baby to its original position. Repeat, crossing the legs in the other direction. And don’t forget to praise your child and tell him how well he’s doing! - - “Such subtleties
. It is useful and pleasant to develop the baby’s tactile sensations. The rough surfaces of toys, the gentle touch of silk or the fluffy bliss of a piece of natural fur will delight him. Just after the game, don’t forget to wipe off the hairs from your tenacious palms.
The baby subtly feels your emotions. Provide him with freely accessible toys and sit quietly at a distance. Believe me, it’s not just you who needs a break from socializing.
Your attention, affection and faith in yourself and in your child are all that the baby needs at this time, and patience will help you cope with the difficulties of the first months and enjoy their joys.
Don't compare if everything is fine
The Internet both helps and creates cause for concern. We’re willing to bet that when you were pregnant, you double-checked your tests on the Internet, comparing them with tables and indicators of other pregnant women on forums, which resulted in more than a single sleepless night. After giving birth, you should give up this habit. In the parks you will meet mothers who will happily report that their baby definitely began to smile in the first week of life, that the first tooth appeared at 4 months, and began to walk at 6 months (all indicators are deliberately exaggerated). Pride, and that's all. All children are different. So, for example, one needs 37 weeks to be born, the other “sits” up to 42 weeks. In most cases, there are no deviations from the norm, and 37 and 42 are good (provided that the baby is born healthy in both cases). So, don't add stress to yourself and don't compare your newborn to other newborns. If in doubt, see point #1.
Photo: depositphotos
How to avoid going crazy in the first three months after giving birth
Joy and euphoria after the birth of a child are often replaced by confusion and fatigue. Having no experience yet, young parents make many mistakes before finding optimal solutions. Mom of two children and blogger Laura Burt will tell you how to survive after the birth of a child.
Mother of two children and blogger Laura Burt shares her personal experience on how to make life easier for yourself and your child. We hope her advice will help you organize your life after the birth of a child and enjoy motherhood. Because in another three months you will be worried about completely different questions. For example, how to properly introduce the first complementary foods to a child. So moms, hang in there! The last three months have been both the most beautiful and the most difficult months of my entire life, which I never expected. Either I was overconfident or just ignorant... I don't think it really matters. The main thing is that holding a small child in your arms is not a trivial matter. And it seems to me that if someone had given me these 12 pieces of advice then, it would have been easier for me. I also understand that what is good for one child is not always good for another, so do not take advice from my personal experience as an algorithm from a textbook.
Read also: Getting things done with children or what are the most important things for a mother
Turn on white noise
We discovered white noise 3 weeks after the baby was born and it was a turning point in our parenting experience. Who would have thought that children love constant shush noise. Although it is obvious that the stomach was noisy, and the real world is too quiet for them. Probably unusual and unpleasant. They miss the noise in the womb, so provide them with white noise.
Shikadi can scream until she's blue in the face, but the very moment we turn on the white noise, she falls silent or even falls asleep. Plug the device into the outlet and point it up (ours is on the bookshelf opposite the crib). If you are worried about the volume, then download an app that allows you to monitor the decibels and do not exceed the 65 mark. This has truly changed our lives.
Put the kids to bed
I thought that children sleep when they are tired. But my daughter is not like that at all. If I had $20 for every time we were told how active our daughter is, I would have enough to pay for her university education. Her activity meant she didn't sleep at all! And this went on, I think, for a whole month. And then I realized that the child had to be forced to go to bed (Moms don’t know where the expression “sleep like a baby” came from. It should be “sleep like daddy!”)
Read also: How to put your baby to sleep in less than 60 seconds (VIDEO)
I started observing her mood and realized that about an hour after she woke up and ate, she began to yawn. So I began to take advantage of the moment and put her to bed.
Sometimes I rocked her or put her in a rocking crib, sometimes I sang lullabies to her. She slept while I gently rocked her in my arms, sometimes I swaddled her, turned on white noise, put her in her crib and left.
If I was on time, she fell asleep without any problems. So she started sleeping great (by 2 months she was sleeping 4 times a day for about an hour and 10 hours a night!) So I figured out and stuck to her schedule instead of the ones in the books and everything turned out easy Wonderful!
Swaddle
I've heard from many friends that their babies hate being swaddled. This may be true at the moment, but if you insist on it regularly, they will get used to it. For them, this will be a signal that it is time to sleep.
B: correct diaper and correct technique. Don't skimp on buying better quality diapers. Also, take the time to watch a couple of YouTube videos to improve your changing skills.
Ask for advice and help from someone in a similar situation.
Personally, I was lucky. My parents and my husband's parents took turns staying with us for a week to help with the kids. The best thing for me was that not only did they really help me with the baby, but they were willing to help with absolutely everything else, so I could sleep while my baby slept. They did laundry, cooked, washed dishes, kept the house tidy and did everything that was needed.
It was incredible... I could devote all of myself to the baby and not worry about everyday things. I also met other young mothers with the same problems... and you know, those middle of the night, like “is it okay if...” - they are priceless. Thanks everyone!
Don't compare your child and yourself to others
One day, I caught myself thinking that even in the middle of the night I could sit and type everything I could into Google. “When will they start sleeping at night?”, “How many diapers should I use per day?”, “How long should I breastfeed my baby?” etc.
I came across responses from mothers who wrote that their children “immediately after being discharged from the hospital began to sleep at night,” or that their children “can change their own diaper”...
Guys, everyone's children are different! Do what you feel and what your intuition tells you. God gave you the chance to become a mother and endowed you with maternal instincts. So listen to them. Ideal parents are not born, they are made.
Don’t compare your children with other children, or yourself with other mothers, especially those who shout something like “immediately after giving birth, I returned to my usual weight.” I think I will be supported by those who are still trying to lose a couple of extra pounds.
Let your husband know how he can help you
It's very likely that your husband has no experience with babies, so this step is very scary for him. Moms feel confident, having maternal instincts, well, or minimal experience of looking after a neighbor's child or nephews, but dads feel a little helpless. But perhaps your husband would really like and is ready to help you in any way he can!
My husband learned how to simply change a diaper like a pro and give me the right things when I was chained to the swing in the yard while feeding the baby. He's also great at getting our daughter into bed so I can finally get in the shower. It seems to me that sometimes husbands just don’t know what to do, so give me a hint.
Read also: How to teach your family to help you or being alone in the field is not a warrior
Try not to go too far from the changing table
Dear God, how often do kids go to the toilet! We live in a two-story house, and our portable changing table, a savior from dirty diapers, was on the first floor. Oh, and while we're still talking about diapers... Even the best quality diaper can fail if it's full.
And one more thing, you don’t need to change a wet diaper right away, as soon as a blue stripe appears. It's a marketing strategy by diaper manufacturers to convince us that every time the line turns blue, we should change our diaper. I assure you, this is not necessary. You will definitely know when you need to change the diaper, I guarantee it.
Know that breastfeeding is not easy
I heard somewhere that if you can hold out for a month and a half, then it will be easier. Of course, this is not for everyone, but I was adamant in my desire to breastfeed. Organic milk, right?
Frankly, it is a really painful process at first, but there is light at the end of this lactation tunnel. After two weeks and several meetings with the doctor, the pain went away. It is possible that lactostasis will occur, but in a couple of weeks the body will return to normal.
And if we have already touched on the topic of breastfeeding, then I cannot remain silent about the importance of a breast pump. This device is your best friend when milk stagnation in the breast, and this happens sooner or later, but inevitably. Moreover, if you need to leave the baby for 3-4 hours (I know, now you don’t want to, but sometimes circumstances oblige), then you will need to provide a supply of milk.
Read also: How to store breast milk: 5 important tips for nursing mothers
Don't spend a ton of money on clothes for your little one.
Moms, she's such a cutie in that ruched dress! And he is such a cute little doll in this suit! What do you think, won’t this new thing become stained in about 4 minutes? I think yes. So, dear parents, it’s okay if your child spends the first three months of his life in pajamas.
I like pajamas that have a zipper or elastic at the bottom to make changing the kids much easier at any time of the day or night. Pajamas with buttons are also good, but less comfortable.
And here’s one more thing: in the wake of your joy, you don’t need to try everything in your wardrobe, because you’ve stocked up for six months in advance. If there are still tags on your clothes, it is better to change them to a larger size.
Don't be afraid of your first trip to the store with your child
The wolf is not as scary as people fear him! For the first time, go to a small store, for example, to buy bread. Place your baby in the stroller and turn on white noise if you want to keep him quiet. If your child suddenly starts to get nervous, try holding him in your arms for a minute. When children are “in the air,” they calm down.
Another idea is that you can carry them around in a baby carrier while you shop for groceries. In the case of my daughter, it helped a lot. If she didn't like something, I just swayed or jumped a little. After the first couple of joint outings, you will no longer be afraid of this, and even if hysteria begins, you know how to settle it.
Take photos of your newborn baby
And as much as possible. Use any camera you have at hand. You can always delete the unnecessary ones, but you will never be able to rewind the missed moment and capture it. I try to take at least one photo of my daughter every day. At the end of the year I will organize them all into one big album. You can try to take a selfie, why not. You won’t remember much if you don’t periodically refresh your memory by viewing the contents of the flash drive. Here are 8 creative ways to capture your baby's first year of life.
Everything will be fine!
If babies cry, they breathe. If you need to tuck them into their crib just to take a break for a second, that's okay. Always keep some kind of snack and water on hand while feeding. Don't be afraid to turn down someone who wants to come visit. Buy what you need in bulk.
If your children wake up in the middle of the night, don’t jump out of bed right away - give them a couple of minutes, maybe they’ll fall asleep on their own; watch them sleep. If the child is nervous, carry him in your arms, they calm down next to their mother, homework can calmly wait.
Finally, remember that no matter what your experience with newborns, this time is precious! All the sleepless nights, every tear, every overfilled diaper and every drool on your clothes, it was all worth it! Being a mom is the best job in the world!
Based on materials from astepinthejourney.com
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