By the age of three, a little person often shows disobedience: he does not fulfill requests, screams, and throws tantrums. Parents throw up their hands in bewilderment, not knowing what to do in this situation: rush to calm the baby, scold, punish, ignore such behavior. A three-year-old child needs parental attention, and not only relationships in the family depend on how mom and dad behave, but also how their baby will grow up.
What I can do, what I can
A three-year-old baby is a little personality that is already beginning to form. He reacts quite sensitively to the attitude and behavior of adults, so any tactical mistake in his upbringing can turn into a fairly serious problem.
At 3 years old, this is a small personality
If a child has lived for 3 years under a certain regime, the established order should not be changed. However, transitions from one routine moment to another at this age may be accompanied by protest, because the baby already has his own ideas about what he will do at the moment. To smooth out these situations, it is necessary to prepare the baby in advance for a change in activity, warning him: “now let’s play and go for a swim.”
When drawing up a regime, it should be taken into account that a child of this age should sleep at least ten to eleven hours at night, and at least one and a half to two and a half during the day. Active wakefulness without signs of fatigue does not exceed six and a half hours.
When communicating with a three-year-old child, it is necessary to take into account that, due to the characteristics of the nervous activity of this age, it is difficult for him to quickly switch from one activity to another. Therefore, there is no need to rush him and achieve immediate fulfillment of all requests and instructions. Very often, kids who are constantly being rushed become very slow, as they get used to the idea that everything is going too slowly for them.
Most three-year-olds have great difficulty in passive, sedentary activities, in particular, waiting for something or participating in some procedure when an adult does everything himself (for example, putting on complex clothes). To prevent the child from developing a negative attitude towards such situations, he needs to be given some tasks and offered interesting activities.
By the age of three, the baby independently performs more and more manipulations with his things, clothes, and household items. At this age, such activities arouse genuine interest in him, and he is ready to show perseverance and perseverance in order to achieve results. It is very important not to suppress this natural desire for independence, to be patient and not to interfere in the process, because this is how the child first learns to overcome difficulties. If at this stage an adult takes the initiative and does everything for the child, at an older age it can be very difficult to teach the child to work, be neat, and independent. By the age of three, the baby should be able to unbutton the buttons on a shirt or blouse, untie the laces on his shoes, know the procedure for taking off clothes and carefully fold the removed clothes.
In the third year of his little life, the baby increasingly imitates the behavior and actions of the people around him. Therefore, the general structure of the family has a huge impact on the formation of his character and habits.
If a child has been present at family meals for 3 years of his life and has observed the behavior of adults at the table, there will be no problems teaching him the culture of eating. Usually, by this age, the baby can wipe his lips with a paper napkin, put on and take off a cloth napkin, and leave the table, returning the chair to its place. At the same time, he already understands the meaning of words of gratitude and actively uses them.
Behavior of children of different temperaments
Adults notice that children of the same age can react differently to the same words from their parents. Some will start crying, some will listen calmly, and some will throw a huge tantrum. In fact, each child needs an individual approach, because all people (even the smallest) are different, with their own temperament and character. If you find an approach to a child based on his temperament, you can cope with even the most capricious and problematic children.
If the same approach in education is applied to all children, this is fraught with serious psychological problems in the future. The child will behave inappropriately, show aggression, and personality degradation may occur in the future. The method of our grandparents, when all children could be whipped with a belt and put in a corner, does not work.
Authoritarian, despotic parents do not even try to hear their child, but practically remake him for themselves, breaking his fragile psyche. A person who was abused, humiliated, or beaten by his parents as a child is likely to be addicted to alcohol, nicotine, or illicit drugs. It is difficult for such people to find a common language with others; their personal lives often do not work out.
By the age of 3-4 years, the baby is already beginning to develop his own temperament. Psychologists separate the concepts of “temperament” and “character”. Temperament is a type of behavior that is inherent in a person from birth by nature, and character is formed through upbringing.
There are four types of temperament:
- melancholic;
- sanguine people;
- choleric people;
- phlegmatic.
Temperaments are practically never found in their pure form. Usually in a person there is a mixture of several types, for example, 80% choleric and 20% sanguine. Babies with different types of prevailing temperament react differently to the same situation. The differences are especially noticeable in cases where children do not get what they want.
Melancholic people
Such children require special attention to their person. They react sharply to any comments, and raising their voice at them is tantamount to physical punishment. Melancholic people are very sensitive, they are easily offended and hurt. Under no circumstances should such children be shamed in front of strangers. For melancholic people, even just being among a large number of children and adults is a serious test. That is why adaptation to kindergarten is difficult and painful for them. There is no need to demand any outstanding results; it is enough that the baby is surrounded by strangers.
Sanguines
As a rule, children with a dominant sanguine temperament do not cause parents any special problems. They are almost always in a good mood, without mood swings. If a child is upset about something, he will not throw tantrums and lie on the floor. He interacts well with other children in a group, loves active games, and has no problems sleeping, which has a beneficial effect on the state of the nervous system.
One of the disadvantages of sanguine children is that they are quite cunning. If the baby does not want to do what is asked of him, he will not do it. The main mistake parents make is that they take their child’s word for it and follow his lead. If you ignore this nuance, the baby will grow up to be a deceiver. Parents should raise a sanguine person calmly, without shouting or reproaches, but the child must fulfill their wishes and demands. Also, you should not over-praise the baby, otherwise he may catch the “star” disease. You need to praise for actions and actions, and not just like that.
Very interesting: Is it possible to deceive children: the opinion of psychologists
Cholerics
Always active, running somewhere, grasping at any task, but also quickly giving up. They are highly emotional and often have problems falling asleep. It is very important to raise a choleric child correctly, otherwise he may grow up to be an unbalanced, angry person. The main mistakes of parents:
- aggressive attitude;
- overprotection.
When a little choleric person gets angry and starts playing pranks and destroying the whole house, you need to try to remain calm and not raise your voice. You shouldn’t put pressure, force, or impose your opinion. It is advisable to agree on some things in advance and discuss prohibitions.
Phlegmatic people
Children are not only active and noisy, but also calm and balanced. Phlegmatic people are slow, thoughtful, and love to sleep for a long time and laze in bed. Phlegmatic children perceive information well if it is presented by example. Parents need to be actively involved in raising a phlegmatic child, otherwise he will remain inert.
Parents need to be sensitive and attentive when raising their children. They must be able to distinguish the reasons why the baby does not listen, and take action in time. Every day, mom and dad build trusting and warm relationships with their children, although sometimes this is difficult. If you take into account the baby’s temperament, educational moments and communication will be much easier for all family members.
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3 year old crisis
At this age, children face the first psychological crisis in their lives. The functioning of the nervous system is being restructured. A person begins to recognize himself as a separate person.
This is a natural stage of growing up, but, unfortunately, its passage can be accompanied by such conditions as:
- increased irritability
- tearfulness
- emotional instability
- sleep disorders
- manifestation of neuroses
- manifestation of speech disorders
The 3-year-old crisis is a complex and important stage of development.
Parents and teachers are required to understand what is happening to the child during this period. It is worth trying to gently but demandingly remind the child of the rules of behavior, distract the child when he is very upset, and learn to negotiate with him. And remember - this will pass.
Tips for parents
- Do not interfere with the manifestations of independence and allow you to explore the world. It is better to wait and let the child try to do something on his own than to forbid, force or punish. It is worth inspecting the house, removing all objects that could cause harm (fragile, sharp) or are a provoking factor. And during the period of crisis, you need to let the child understand that the desire for independence is encouraged. Let him do it badly or incorrectly, the main thing is what he is trying to do.
- Give your child the right to choose. Don’t be faced with the fact: “Now let’s go eat porridge,” it’s better to ask before cooking what he would like to eat, list the options, and then take into account the choice. Approximately the same should be done with other situations. Look for compromises, offer choices - and the number of conflicts will decrease.
- Don't compare your child with other children. This will worsen his self-esteem and make him feel negative towards those with whom he was compared, and in the future will lead to the development of many complexes and other psychological problems. It’s better to point out his progress: “Today you are better at drawing circles and triangles than yesterday.” This will increase his desire to improve.
- During tantrums, try to appear calm. The main reason for children's tantrums is the desire to attract attention. If there is no reaction from adults, the child will quickly calm down and stop provoking.
- Avoid a commanding tone; it is better to express requests in a playful manner. Offer competitions, speak on behalf of fictional characters, use toys, actively participate in games with him. When a child feels like the captain of a ship, bathing, which he may not like, will be more fun and enjoyable. And cleaning up toys and putting things in order can be turned into a speed competition.
- Be flexible and resourceful. Parents know the child well enough and can find their own approach, relying on the advice of specialists.
In the process of overcoming a crisis, parents need to try to show maximum patience so as not to harm the child and keep the situation under control.
There is no limit to body perfection
If a 3-year-old child was not constrained in his movements, walked enough, played with peers, his physical development proceeded naturally. In the third year, significant progress is observed:
- the baby confidently walks not only on level paths, but also on grassy and rocky paths;
- knows how to climb up and down slides;
- steps well and jumps over obstacles, jumps from low heights;
- catches the ball with both hands;
All this is facilitated by outdoor games, wearing the right (not restrictive) clothes, playing with a ball, and riding a bicycle. Physical development directly affects the baby’s character: he becomes more confident, bolder, smarter, more persistent.
Practitioners and theorists
Children are divided into two main categories, some like to learn everything through contact with the material, others like to know the process in theory. You can often meet a child who prefers to watch educational programs, repeating words and numbers after the speaker. For others, counting and learning words comes easier with direct contact with material, photographs, animals. The craving for one of the variants of cognition can be explained by different types of memory:
- visual;
- muscular;
- photographic;
It is necessary to develop all types of memory. Visual memory develops when watching video footage. Muscle memory is not only responsible for certain skills in working with plasticine, pencils, and a screwdriver. When drawing a certain letter or number, the child remembers not only the order of drawing, but also the symbol itself and its name. For practitioners, this method makes it easier to remember animals and learn to distinguish them.
Children with well-developed photographic and visual memory will learn this in an easier way. All they need to do is compare the pictures. To help your child develop all types of memory, it is worth working with him using several methods. Be sure to pay attention to modeling and drawing lessons. Review developmental programs together in order to promptly correct inaccuracies in the pronunciation of endings or numerals.
The problem with children who do not reproduce sounds accurately is not that they cannot hear, they need to see articulation. They perfectly copy facial expressions, repeating words; they will try to copy the movement of the lips and the position of the tongue when reproducing a word - this will help many of the children avoid classes with a speech therapist.
