Psychology and education of children 3-4 years old: features, crises, advice

Raising a child is not an easy task and requires effort, patience and the right approach from parents. Any baby is already a person who has his own desires, opinions and emotions. In early childhood, the baby is guided solely by instincts, while by the age of four he becomes more conscious, the baby begins to show the first most obvious character traits, which he does not hesitate to demonstrate. Raising a 4-year-old child has a number of features that are primarily related to the psychology of a 4-year-old child.

Crisis of three years

Poor behavior at the age of three is not always an indicator of a bad temperament or mood swings. In order to properly raise a child, parents must first figure out why he behaves this way. It is worth noting that at this age, boys and girls tend to be capricious and throw tantrums in the same way.

First you need to understand such a psychological term as frustration. This is a state of an adult or child when desires and needs cannot be fully satisfied. The baby grows up when he begins to realize that not all his desires are fulfilled. A sensitive, understanding parent will be able to immediately understand when a child’s hysteria is due to the fact that his “wants” are not being fulfilled. But a baby can be capricious for other reasons: physical illness, quarrels in kindergarten, misunderstanding on the part of the teacher, etc.

Interesting: How to help a child learn to do homework - without scandals and disputes

When should I be concerned about my child's aggression?

Your child will likely grow out of her aggression on her own as she gets older, without any additional help.

Sometimes aggression can be a sign of an undiagnosed learning disability or emotional problem. Ask your GP if your child's aggressive behavior:

• happens every day or most days
• is serious, and may cause harm or damage to her, others, pets or property
• becomes more frequent or severe as she gets older
• involves aggression towards oneself, such as slapping or scratching oneself, or talking negatively about oneself

Why does a 3-4 year old child behave badly?

There can be many reasons for bad behavior. Child psychologists identify the main reasons that you should pay attention to.

1. The child attracts the attention of adults. When parents are constantly busy and cannot devote time to the baby, he wants to attract attention by any means. Since a three-year-old does not yet know how to build a constructive dialogue, he begins to behave badly, be capricious, and cry. Let mom and dad scold me, but they’ll drop what they’re doing and take care of me.
2. The baby is asserting itself. From about two years old, the baby begins to show independence. Surely moms and dads remember the endless repetition: “I myself,” “I myself.” Parents consider a three-year-old child to be small and try to take care of him in every possible way. And the three-year-old resists parental control, including through disobedience.
3. The child takes revenge on his parents. Whims, hysterics, screams can be revenge for an insult caused by mom or dad. Parents may not even realize that they have hurt the baby. For example, my mother forced me to finish eating tasteless porridge, and my father took my tablet and forbade me from watching cartoons.
4. Low self-esteem. If a child is disappointed in something, has lost faith in himself, he may behave aggressively and inappropriately.

What to do with a 4 year old child at home

Developmental games for children 4-5 years old:

Preschoolers love to use props. Sticks become swords. Blankets transform into super hero capes. At four years old, your child's imagination is in hyperdrive. She can become whatever she chooses - a doctor, a mother or a pilot. Her imagination creates longer, more complex dramas in which others can participate, so play scenes can last many hours or be repeated over several days.

Conversations can sometimes feel like interrogations: where are we going, mom? When will we get there? Who will we see? Why won't dad come with us? She begins to understand that there are reasons for things - and she wants to know what they are.

Another reason for constant questions is that your child's vocabulary is exploding and she wants to practice using words to explore her world.

What do parental restrictions lead to?

When adults forbid something to a child, they seem to draw a boundary to protect the child. Parental prohibitions perform a certain educational function. The baby learns to control his emotions and understand when to stop being capricious. Of course, children do not like when something is forbidden to them, so they can react with anger, scandals, and tears. But parental restrictions are necessary in order to properly raise a child. With defined boundaries, the baby will learn to be disciplined and feel that his parents really care about him.

Nowadays, there are often cases when adults allow children almost everything. This is due, first of all, to the fact that in childhood, parents were forbidden a lot. The child grows and begins to realize that with the help of manipulation you can get whatever you want. As a rule, a person who was allowed a lot in childhood grows up childish, unable to make independent decisions, and capricious.

The other extreme is a large number of prohibitions on the part of adults. In this case, the person will grow up to be dependent, timid, and will seek the approval of mom and dad all his life.

To avoid mistakes in parenting, adults need to understand that prohibitions must have a strong justification. The child must be explained why something is forbidden to him, and what consequences can be expected if he does not obey. Parental prohibitions can be divided into two main categories.

1. Conscious prohibitions. Mom or dad, by forbidding something to a child, thereby protect him from negative consequences. For example, you shouldn’t go outside in winter without a hat, otherwise you might catch a cold. This also includes prohibitions that form discipline and obedience.
2. Unconscious prohibitions. The reason for unconscious prohibitions can be the personal experiences of an adult: “We won’t go to the amusement park because you didn’t listen to me and didn’t do what I asked you to do.” Parents may also prohibit their children from doing something because of their own envy. If they didn’t have enough toys and sweets in childhood, they will unconsciously project their childhood grievances onto their own kids. Also, the basis for unconscious prohibitions can be increased anxiety for children. For example, a baby wants to get a puppy. There is nothing wrong with his desire. On the contrary, a four-legged friend will give the baby a lot of joy, teach him to care and love. But the mother refuses her son or daughter because she is afraid that the dog may offend the child, because of it the baby will have an allergic reaction, etc.

If parents forbid something to a three or four year old, it should not be done with condemnation. Prohibitions should not make the child feel guilty and ashamed. For educational purposes, you should not prohibit your child from playing with his favorite toys or watching cartoons. When prohibiting something, be sure to explain why you are doing this. Only through dialogue can the desired results be achieved.

Behavior of children of different temperaments

Adults notice that children of the same age can react differently to the same words from their parents. Some will start crying, some will listen calmly, and some will throw a huge tantrum. In fact, each child needs an individual approach, because all people (even the smallest) are different, with their own temperament and character. If you find an approach to a child based on his temperament, you can cope with even the most capricious and problematic children.

If the same approach in education is applied to all children, this is fraught with serious psychological problems in the future. The child will behave inappropriately, show aggression, and personality degradation may occur in the future. The method of our grandparents, when all children could be whipped with a belt and put in a corner, does not work.

Authoritarian, despotic parents do not even try to hear their child, but practically remake him for themselves, breaking his fragile psyche. A person who was abused, humiliated, or beaten by his parents as a child is likely to be addicted to alcohol, nicotine, or illicit drugs. It is difficult for such people to find a common language with others; their personal lives often do not work out.

By the age of 3-4 years, the baby is already beginning to develop his own temperament. Psychologists separate the concepts of “temperament” and “character”. Temperament is a type of behavior that is inherent in a person from birth by nature, and character is formed through upbringing.

There are four types of temperament:

• melancholic;
• sanguine people;
• choleric people;
• phlegmatic.

Temperaments are practically never found in their pure form. Usually in a person there is a mixture of several types, for example, 80% choleric and 20% sanguine. Babies with different types of prevailing temperament react differently to the same situation. The differences are especially noticeable in cases where children do not get what they want.

Melancholic people

Such children require special attention to their person. They react sharply to any comments, and raising their voice at them is tantamount to physical punishment. Melancholic people are very sensitive, they are easily offended and hurt. Under no circumstances should such children be shamed in front of strangers. For melancholic people, even just being among a large number of children and adults is a serious test. That is why adaptation to kindergarten is difficult and painful for them. There is no need to demand any outstanding results; it is enough that the baby is surrounded by strangers.

Sanguines

As a rule, children with a dominant sanguine temperament do not cause parents any special problems. They are almost always in a good mood, without mood swings. If a child is upset about something, he will not throw tantrums and lie on the floor. He interacts well with other children in a group, loves active games, and has no problems sleeping, which has a beneficial effect on the state of the nervous system.

One of the disadvantages of sanguine children is that they are quite cunning. If the baby does not want to do what is asked of him, he will not do it. The main mistake parents make is that they take their child’s word for it and follow his lead. If you ignore this nuance, the baby will grow up to be a deceiver. Parents should raise a sanguine person calmly, without shouting or reproaches, but the child must fulfill their wishes and demands. Also, you should not over-praise the baby, otherwise he may catch the “star” disease. You need to praise for actions and actions, and not just like that.

Very interesting: Is it possible to deceive children: the opinion of psychologists

Cholerics

Always active, running somewhere, grasping at any task, but also quickly giving up. They are highly emotional and often have problems falling asleep. It is very important to raise a choleric child correctly, otherwise he may grow up to be an unbalanced, angry person. The main mistakes of parents:

• aggressive attitude;
• overprotection.

When a little choleric person gets angry and starts playing pranks and destroying the whole house, you need to try to remain calm and not raise your voice. You shouldn’t put pressure, force, or impose your opinion. It is advisable to agree on some things in advance and discuss prohibitions.

Phlegmatic people

Children are not only active and noisy, but also calm and balanced. Phlegmatic people are slow, thoughtful, and love to sleep for a long time and laze in bed. Phlegmatic children perceive information well if it is presented by example. Parents need to be actively involved in raising a phlegmatic child, otherwise he will remain inert.

Parents need to be sensitive and attentive when raising their children.
They must be able to distinguish the reasons why the baby does not listen, and take action in time. Every day, mom and dad build trusting and warm relationships with their children, although sometimes this is difficult. If you take into account the baby’s temperament, educational moments and communication will be much easier for all family members. leave a comment