Raising children 4-5 years old: important tips for parents

Children went through the most difficult stages of developing hearing, vision, and parts of the brain responsible for creativity. It has become easier to communicate with them, because by the age of four they already have a large vocabulary and can explain a lot. While playing, kids fantasize. Now they don’t have to hold an object in their hands to imagine what it feels like. This makes communication with children more interesting, and games do not require large material costs, because they can make the necessary items themselves from construction sets or plasticine.

There are still problems with the pronunciation of certain sounds. Some children have difficulty in music lessons not because they cannot hear it - they simply do not understand how to correctly produce the required sound. Wind musical instruments - pipes, recorders, zvukhariki - help them perfectly in this.

The system of classes with children using the method of Edelvena Yakovlevna Smelova has been known for more than 20 years. In an effort to cure her grandson's constant colds, she developed simple exercises. These activities have helped many children become healthier. Hearing-impaired children were given the opportunity to experience music, and some of them even sing. Marina Lvovna Kosmovskaya, Doctor of Art History, contributed to the spread of this technique. She also developed a music lesson program of nine lessons for the pipe.

Thematic material:

  • Child development according to Zaitsev’s method
  • What educational games are suitable for girls 4-5 years old?

Features of education

How to raise a child correctly?

At the age of 4–5 years, the basic basis for children’s behavior in society is formed. At this stage of life, he is accompanied by the closest people - family, kindergarten group, friends and peers.

In this environment, the baby receives significant communication, help and support. The child develops comprehensively, learning about the real world and the people who meet on his way.

Parents take the most direct and active part in raising a child. They answer his many questions, talk about various phenomena and objects of the surrounding world. They show by example how to act in a certain situation.

A child of this age exhibits moral qualities:

  • friendliness;
  • responsiveness;
  • kindness;
  • politeness;
  • communication skills;
  • discipline.

The main task of parents is the development of all these qualities. Thanks to them, children grow fully and correctly.

It is necessary to teach the child to behave correctly in society. Be able to defend your interests among peers without quarrels and fights. They should not offend the weak. Try to calmly wait your turn when the situation requires.

The desire for independence leads to insecurity. You should support him in this moment and let him know that a loved one is always there and ready to help.

It is also important to teach to consider the needs of other peers and people. Parents should not be led by their child's wishes. He must come to terms with refusals to fulfill his whims.

Forming a child's self-esteem

The baby is sensitive to the attitude of others and begins to feel like a full member of society. Forming a child’s self-esteem is an important indicator of personality development. Accurately copies the behavior of loved ones and surrounding people. Knowledge of social relations opens up new impressions and a lot of interesting things for him.

Read: Black and white pictures for newborns stimulate vision development

By his actions he tries to receive praise and appreciation. It is in such cases that well-deserved encouragement is simply necessary for him. However, he cannot make a critical assessment of himself. Therefore, on the part of an adult, it is very important to point out a fault or bad deed as easily and calmly as possible.

Parents should respect the child’s first intellectual searches and correct them in the right direction.

Psyche, independence and responsibility

This age is characterized as a transitional period, because the child is just beginning to understand his attitude towards himself. Sudden mood changes occur - he may feel sadness, loneliness, resentment, shame, disappointment. You should not immediately attribute depression to your child - he is simply exploring emotions that are still unusual for him. Try to calmly convince the baby that there is no reason for tears, praise him more often, even “in advance.”

The baby acquires most of his habits at this age. Therefore, it is worth accustoming him to the daily routine, to exercise, to the fact that he needs to clean up after himself. At this time, it is important to instill in him responsibility for his actions.

Difficulties of parenting

Many parents who do not know the developmental characteristics of a 4-5 year old child have difficulties in raising him. This leads to constant demands from the baby for certain actions and rules that do not allow him to make his own decisions. At the same time, they do not hear him, they constantly shower him with various criticisms, accompanied by abuse and humiliating insults.

In this case, the child exhibits the following criteria in behavior:

  • completely shuts down and becomes less talkative;
  • stops trusting parents;
  • shows your character;
  • does everything contrary;
  • throws tantrums with crying;
  • is capricious for any reason;
  • gets angry and irritated over trifles;
  • behaves poorly in kindergarten and public places.

A psychological characteristic of a 4–5 year old child is considered to be a crisis in social relationships. This is primarily a consequence of the lack of proper attention and support from loved ones.

Duration of the crisis period in children

However, for this age, the model of relationships with society through bad behavior is the norm. The child draws his own territory boundaries. He tries to be free and independent in his actions.

During this period, parents need to calmly accept their baby for who he is. At the same time, try to establish relationship rules with him that do not allow him to go beyond certain limits. Parents need to show great patience and restraint with their child.

Read: Audiobooks for children

This difficult time should be lived with full support of the child in everything, surrounding him with attention, love and care. During such a period, parents need to be especially patient. Spend a lot of time with your baby so that he feels the constant presence of a loved one.

The duration of the crisis period cannot be accurately determined and calculated. It depends on the individual characteristics of the children, and can last from one to several months.

Physical development

By the age of 4, a child’s physical activity decreases (there are exceptions in the form of hyperactive children). He can already sit still for some time. The child, having mastered the basic skills of walking and running, begins to improve them. In addition, skills in sports games (for example, with a ball) appear

You also need to remember that a girl differs from a boy in her physical activity. Boys are more agile, faster and more dexterous.

What should a child be able to do by the age of four?

  • Run, walk fast or slow (change pace).
  • Walk backwards.
  • Jump in place, lifting both feet off the ground.
  • Maintain balance.
  • Climb the stairs, alternating legs.
  • Catch the ball with both hands.
  • Walk on your toes and heels.
  • Be able to pedal a bicycle (not necessarily ride one).

Children at the age of 4 can already be enrolled in any sports section: swimming, football, gymnastics. The choice is yours, but when choosing a section for a child, think first of all about what the child has abilities for and what the child likes.

Encourage your child to be physically active, let him climb, run, and climb various obstacles. Come up with activities and challenges for him. Spend more time outdoors, play active games.

Tips for parents

From the previously listed features of upbringing, you can extract the maximum benefit, which helps to develop a full-fledged personality.

Most psychologists and teachers suggest building relationships with your child, guided by the following tips:

  1. In the process of education, it is necessary to minimize prohibitions, rules and laws. Their prohibitive number leads to protest on the part of the child.
  2. When communicating, use polite words and phrases that encourage your child to cooperate. Do not use a raised, commanding tone under any circumstances.
  3. You should react with restraint to your child’s anger and resentment.
  4. Explaining an adult's feelings and experiences helps your child understand you and the people around you.
  5. It is necessary to discuss the details and features of any ethical situation that happened to the child, or in which he found himself in kindergarten or in the yard of the house.
  6. You should not overload your child’s conscience by constantly reminding him of his misdeeds. This can lead to fear, vindictiveness, passivity and crippling guilt.
  7. It is strictly forbidden to tell scary incidents and stories, talk about illness and death, or allow them to watch horror films.
  8. It is necessary to be interested in the child’s creative successes without making critical comments.
  9. Encourage your child to communicate with peers as much and as often as possible.
  10. Answer any child’s question, suggest a way for him to solve it independently. In the discussion, be sure to take his opinion into account.
  11. Play with your baby at home as often as possible.
  12. Be sure to read fairy tales to your child.

Read: Early Childhood Development Program

Parents who follow and adhere to important advice will find it easier to get through a difficult stage in raising their child.

The formation of a full-fledged personality is based on the age-related developmental characteristics of 4–5-year-old children, who are a guideline in education. They allow you to qualitatively prepare a preschooler for the future school period, as well as easily undergo social adaptation.

In the following video, a lecture by a psychologist about the features of raising preschool children:

18 Dec 2021 Valeria 449

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Discussion: 4 comments

  1. Liza:
    12/19/2017 at 00:09

    Before school, he needs to enroll in kindergarten, otherwise it will be even more difficult for him to adapt to school than in kindergarten, since he will still need to study there. If possible, dear parents, send your children to kindergarten as early as possible.


  2. Svetlana:

    12/20/2017 at 14:28

    This is exactly the age when character is formed; it is important not to miss the child. As for keeping prohibitions to a minimum, I categorically disagree - there should be prohibitions so that the child clearly understands what is possible and what is not. The main thing is that prohibitions need to be explained in a language understandable to the child, and not simply prohibited.


  3. Natasha:

    12/25/2017 at 00:06

    We have a capable and talented child, but he really likes to talk with teachers, and we really don’t know what to do. He has his word, but he gives two hundred in response, he doesn’t understand that the man is older than him. What do you advise?



    04/23/2019 at 10:25

    My son also has such children in his group, and, as a rule, these are the ones who are allowed to behave this way in the family - they treat not only the teachers, but also the parents without much respect. And there is only one piece of advice here: talk to your child about this topic, explain why it is such a bad thing to do, and, naturally, reconsider the process of upbringing in the family.


Mental development

There are certain standards compiled by child development specialists and psychologists. You can use this list as a basis to check your baby’s mental development. So, what can a four-year-old do:

  • Answers simple questions logically using long sentences.
  • Knows the meanings of the words used and general concepts.
  • Knows the names of animals, household items, professions.
  • Knows the names of geometric shapes and colors.
  • Counts to 10.
  • Distinguishes where the right side is and where the left is.
  • Operates with the concepts “one”, “many”, “few”, “several”.
  • Knows his name, the names of his relatives, and his home address.
  • Determines the time of day: morning, afternoon, evening, night.
  • Knows the seasons and the order in which they change.
  • He can describe what he saw and retell a story he heard.
  • Knows some letters and numbers.
  • Assembles puzzles with at least 5 pieces.

If any of the points cause difficulties for the child, this is not a reason for concern. Just pay more attention to this point when training. Try to make the classes comfortable for both you and your baby. If he is not in the mood or is sick, you should not force him to study, this can only discourage your child from learning. If you are tired, also postpone classes for a while.

Character of a child at 4 years old

Why is my child aggressive?

This is just a normal stage. It's frustrating if your preschooler hits, bites, or kicks, but his behavior will likely improve over time. He or she just needs to grow up.

You can help him by knowing what might trigger his anger. Your child is more likely to act aggressively when he is tired, or when he feels hungry, thirsty, or generally out of sorts. For example, you may notice that she tends to act aggressive at the end of a long day of shopping or before lunch.

Keep a daily routine

Make sure your baby gets food when she's hungry and rests when she's tired. If possible, you can also avoid times and places where you know she might have trouble staying calm.

Aggression may also occur if your preschooler is feeling overwhelmed or upset, or when he is in an unfamiliar situation, such as opening a daycare. She may act aggressively if she cannot find the words to express her strong feelings.

In some cases, aggression can be a means of attracting attention. If your child gets a big reaction from you when he acts aggressively, he will soon realize that this is a good way to get you to pay attention to him.

Almost all young children behave aggressively from time to time, and some go through longer phases of aggression. Your child's aggression will likely decrease as his social and language skills mature.

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