Hysteria in a child 1, 2, 3, 4 years old - reasons and instructions for parents

At this age, children are not able to act on purpose and use hysterics to make demands, but you should not turn a blind eye to this. It is necessary to prevent manifestations before they occur.

That is, if you notice that the child is changing in his face, take him in your arms and talk to him calmly, do everything to distract him. In adulthood, such tantrums can be used by a child in order to get what he wants.

What is the difference between hysteria and caprice?

A whim is nothing more than a feigned action performed by a child in order to get his parents to immediately fulfill his desire. At the same time, the child very often demands completely impossible things from adults. Whims are accompanied by crying, screaming, throwing objects, and stamping feet. Often the cause of dissatisfaction is a desire that is currently unrealizable. For example, going out into the yard in the rain or watching cartoons that are not in the program.

Hysterical seizures occur involuntarily when the child is unable to cope with the avalanche of emotions that have befallen him. In this condition, the child may harm himself. A characteristic manifestation of hysteria is convulsions, and in particular the arching of the child’s whole body - the so-called hysterical bridge.

Causes of tantrums in children

A baby's tantrums after a year are a combination of anger and indignation, which he cannot express in any other way. Manifestation can be expressed in stomping feet, throwing various objects, biting, etc. Hysteria can also be used by a child to get his favorite toy.

The main thing is to let the child understand that nothing can be achieved with tantrums.

What to do if a child has a tantrum

In particular, the famous specialist Komarovsky publishes very interesting ideas. This pediatrician from Kharkov has done a lot to popularize knowledge among parents. In his opinion, the behavior of a child who throws himself on the floor, starts screaming and demands that his wishes be fulfilled should be considered abnormal.

In such situations, Komarovsky recommends that parents ignore the baby, for example, leave the room. Negotiations should begin after the child has calmed down. Physical measures will not help here. First of all, adults must demonstrate to the child that any of his actions is fraught with specific consequences. Over time, the baby will be able to behave with this in mind. Komarovsky advises turning to doctors if hysteria is a consequence of hyperactivity or fatigue. Such problems can be solved by following a daily routine. If a child does not fall asleep on time, he becomes tired much sooner.

Pediatricians indicate that most often cases of hysteria begin to occur after the child is one year old. Capriciousness and stubbornness reach their peak values in children by the age of three. There is even a term for this period: “three-year-old crisis.” In some cases, children throw up to ten tantrums a day. Seizures happen for literally any reason.

In general, it is better to prevent hysterical attacks. Careful observation of the baby will help with this, the purpose of which is to find out the signs of an approaching attack. For example, a child may begin a hysteria with a whimper, purses his lips, and begins to sniffle resentfully. Distracting his attention with something interesting will help here.

You can give him a book or a toy. A change of scenery can help - move to the balcony, show the baby what is happening outside the window, and finally, just take him to another room. All this will help before an attack. If the hysteria has already begun, such actions will not bring any effect.

Here are measures that can help combat attacks:

the baby must get enough sleep and adhere to a certain schedule;
he should not be allowed to become overtired;
the child’s leisure time should be inviolable; it is better to allocate sufficient time for games;
It is necessary to explain to the child why he feels irritated.

The latter will, over time, allow the child to learn to express his feelings, which will lead to an understanding of the need to keep them under control. It is useful to show the child that his feelings are clear to his parents, but at the same time emphasize that at this time and in this particular place such behavior is unacceptable.

Involving your child in certain activities will also help. Motivate him with the fact that he has already matured enough to go down the steps or climb into the sandbox.

The child should be given the opportunity to choose. For example, ask what exactly he wants to wear or where is the best place to go for a walk.

If there is no choice, this should be emphasized by stating the purpose, that is, informing you that you are heading to the supermarket or clinic.

When your child's mood is about to get worse, you can distract him by asking him to find or show him a certain toy.

How to deal with tantrums in a 1-5 year old child

A 1.5 year old child is having tantrums - what to do?

Children are capricious quite often, but our role is as wise parents, so we must understand and distinguish between a child’s simple disagreement with your actions or an emotional breakdown called a whim.
In each such situation, parents must understand how to react to a particular situation. At this age, children are not able to act on purpose and use hysterics to make demands, but you should not turn a blind eye to this. It is necessary to prevent manifestations before they occur. That is, if you notice that the child’s face is changing, take him in your arms and talk to him calmly, do everything to distract him. In adulthood, such tantrums can be used by a child in order to get what he wants.

A 1.5 year old child has tantrums: what to do

Causes of tantrums in children one and a half years old

A 1.5 year old child's tantrums are a combination of anger and indignation that he cannot express in any other way. Manifestation can be expressed in stomping feet, throwing various objects, biting, etc. Hysteria can also be used by a child to get his favorite toy.

Children of absolutely all parents act this way, only the age of manifestation may be different. The important point is how you will be exposed to these manifestations. If you give in, then be sure that the tantrums will continue, and soon this will be the only way it will happen. The main thing is to let the child understand that nothing can be achieved with tantrums. Tantrums in a 1.5 year old child: you need to know what to do before they happen.

How to react to a tantrum in a 1.5 year old child

Of course, it is very difficult to remain calm in such a situation, but you should not succumb to provocation. Do everything to ensure that the child understands that his actions will lead nowhere. Do not think that punishment will calm the baby down. This is absolutely not true. It can give rise to even greater hysteria, but the reason will be that the child is in pain and unpleasant.

You won't be able to endure it for long and will give in. Be more restrained; a calm conversation will give more impact.

Now you know what to do if a 1.5 year old child is hysterical.

Hysteria in young children. Causes and solutions

In the period from 1 year to 5 years, the baby learns a lot of new things, his horizons expand, he gains new experiences, so during this unstable period the child often experiences hysterics. In a word, a psycho-emotional restructuring occurs, the child often cries and is capricious, hysterics in a child during this period are a common occurrence. This period of a child’s development can also be called “the first stubbornness”; the second, as you understand, begins from 12 to 14 years. A hysterical child is a problem for many parents, but not everyone knows how to deal with it correctly.

A child's hysteria manifests itself as screaming, stamping feet, throwing objects, and crying. What is the reason for a child’s hysterics, how to deal with a child’s hysterics, how to calm a child so that he doesn’t cry anymore, how to properly respond to your children’s tantrums?

1. The cause of crying or hysteria may be illness. The child cannot explain that something hurts him, so he simply begins to be capricious.

In this case, you should carefully observe the baby, his behavior, and ask him what hurts him. It could be the tummy, the head, or the ears. If you determine that the child is capricious because he is sick, then prepare for this period that you will have to be lenient with his whims, after all, this is due to illness. Have pity on your baby, and maybe you will be able to calm his hysteria.

2. Perhaps your child is crying because he wants to attract the attention of his parents. This may be a manifestation of selfishness or a lack of parental attention.

From childhood, a child gets used to the fact that his parents come running to him only when he cries or screams. Therefore, he begins to abuse their attention. Therefore, you should not teach your child to attract attention using this method.

3. Whims and hysterics may be due to the desire to receive a gift or go for a walk outside. In general, the desire to achieve what his parents forbid him.

Young children love toys of bright colors. If, for example, a child cries because of an object that he wants to get, but it poses a danger to him, for example, a glass object, then the baby’s attention should be diverted to another object, a bright toy. They also usually buy their child a sea of toys, in which the child quickly loses interest, so he wants to get a new thing or a forbidden one. In this case, you should let the child play with toys one at a time, hide the old ones, and then put them back in for play. At an older age, you can try playing with your child in the store, where you can show that when the money runs out, you won’t be able to buy a toy. This way your child will understand that you can’t always buy everything. You can also distract your child with tasks that you can entrust to him. For example, if you are doing laundry, you can put a small basin for your baby and give him a handkerchief so that he can splash around in it. Or let him feed his toys while you cook in the kitchen. This way he will learn new subjects and activities. And the whims will go away on their own. Communication on an equal basis will arouse the child's trust in you, he will not be spoiled, and therefore conflicts will be avoided. And you won’t have to deal with your child’s tantrums anymore.

4. Another reason may be the desire to get rid of parental care, which is excessive.

In this case, excessive love leads to emotional overstrain of the child. It is perceived as oppression of personality and even freedom. Disobedience begins, rejection of everything that parents say and do. Therefore, it is necessary to create a certain balance of custody and the child’s right to choose. If you raise a child in strictness and raise an obedient and dutiful child, then in the future a person may grow up with a lack of creative abilities and oppressed by parental principles.

5. It also happens that there is no reason for the hysteria. This is possible when the child simply did not get enough sleep. An internal conflict is brewing in him. After all, children also have bad moods. Then the child cries for no reason. just. Agree, this happens to adults too. Especially for women.

Let him lie down and rest. Talk to your child to find out the reason for his whims. Watch your favorite cartoon and read a book together. Don’t scold him for crying, but joke about the “whim” living on his shoulder. Take pity on him, kiss and hug him, because the most important secret of how to raise a good child is the care of loving parents. Play with him on equal terms, not as a parent, but as his peer. Communication is what will help you solve the problem. A hysterical child will become more accommodating and obedient. The biggest mistake parents make is when they choose not to respond to their child's tantrums. They think that he is being capricious and will calm down himself. You should not leave it to chance; if the child’s hysteria drags on, then you should show the baby to a specialist.

We hope that our article about the possible causes of hysterics in a child, as well as ways to deal with these same tantrums in a baby, will help you figure out what is the best thing to do and how to calm your baby.

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Hysterical in a 1.5-2 year old child. How to deal with children's hysteria.

He screams, gets angry, stomps his feet, throws tantrums, turns away, hits you in the face... And this is only 1.5-2 years old - what will happen next? And then everything will be fine. The child is having the usual crisis that all one-year-old children go through. The reason is a restructuring of the child’s psyche: infancy is over, the child is moving to a new stage of personal development - the development of will. He begins to master speech, and so far it is incomprehensible to others. This misunderstanding forces the baby to attract the attention of his parents in all permitted and unlawful ways.

Signs of a crisis

Emotions run high, any ban is met with hostility. The child is “harmful”: he refuses his usual food, he demands something to which he was previously indifferent. Dressing and undressing turns into torture - the little rebel rejects the help of adults, pushes away their hands and tries to put on clothes on his own. He cries more often and is more offended. His behavior seems inexplicable to his parents.

Psychologists recommend:

“By the age of one, children realize that they and others are not the same thing. They need to make sure that others feel something too, so they slap parents in the face, touch their hair and ears, sometimes causing pain. Of course, the baby must be stopped, but this should not be regarded as a manifestation of bad character. It happens that children deliberately provoke conflict - just to observe your reaction. The experimenter squeals shrilly, stomps his feet and throws toys while looking at you. Or he asks me to reread the same fairy tale dozens of times, and this is a test of strength - will my mother lose her temper when I ask to read this page out loud for the hundredth time? The main task of parents during this period is to choose the right line of behavior. I would describe it this way: the child is with the mother, not the mother with the child. The baby is interested in learning from his mother, who lives her own life and serves as an example for him. A mother who becomes a servant with him risks losing her authority. And during the crisis of the first year, it is very important that the mother has a leading role - otherwise she will not be able to cope with the child’s tantrums.”

Mom-presenter: how is that?

Let's take this example: a child saw a table knife, asked for it and was refused. In normal times, he would switch to something else, but during a crisis he throws a huge tantrum.

What does a mother usually do when her child is hysterical?

— She explains that the knife is not a toy, then, unable to shout down her son or daughter, she breaks into a scream herself. In the end, it turns out that the child turned out to be stronger - he managed to piss off the adult. He can remember this - and use it later.

— Tries to distract the brawler: shows a bird, sings a song, gives candy. The child learns: “Yeah, I’m crying - I’m being entertained.”

— Ignoring the scream, he silently goes about his business. This reaction is not good because the child may lose faith that his parents will come to his aid.

What should you do when your child is hysterical?

The “correct” mother tells the child that she understands him. and calmly takes him to a “screaming place” - say, to the corridor. There she invites him to vent his indignation, because screaming is not allowed in the kitchen. Thus, the child does not lose face - he was heard and given the opportunity to speak, and the mother sets the rules and makes sure that they are followed, and does not follow the child’s lead. The most important thing is that the mother needs to show confidence and firmness. After all, she is the one responsible for relationships and rules within the house.

What about dad?

The role of the father, periodic approval and calm dissatisfaction with the child’s individual actions. It is undesirable to show violent emotions - the baby will regard them as evidence that he can manipulate an adult man. This means that it is difficult for the father to defend his demands: the child simply will not listen to him.

Let's lead by example

One-year-old children are happy to copy adults. If parents scream, then children will scream. They cannot judge whether it is good or bad; they simply repeat what they see. Therefore, parents should talk calmly, thank for the service, and help each other in front of the child.

Another important point is the parents’ agreement on what is good and what is bad. If parents have different views that are discussed in front of the child, he will simply get confused. Therefore, you can argue about parenting only in the absence of the baby, but in his presence you need to adhere to a common position.

Remember - the crisis does not last forever. When a child learns to express his needs in words, tantrums and screams will gradually fade away.

How to deal with child's tantrums?

It is generally accepted that the first year of a child’s life is the most difficult. The baby is completely helpless, completely dependent on adults and requires continuous care. We can't wait for him to start running. But as soon as this miracle happens, it turns out that our life has not become easier, and the load has not become less. Quite the opposite: from an easy-going toddler, the child turns into a restless and capricious person. Of course, the baby had cried before. And my mother guessed by ear what had happened: he was hungry, he needed to change his diaper, or he just woke up and was bored. Now the range of reasons for grief is expanding sharply - both for the child and for the parents.

Causes of hysteria in a child

We are designed in such a way that we remember ourselves not from birth, but from about three years old. If we remembered how we ourselves began to walk, it would be much easier for us to understand what is happening in the soul of a person who for the first time examines the world from the height of his own, albeit small, stature. What incredible freedom it seems, the ability to quickly run and explore various interesting things that are so clearly visible if you are not crawling on all fours! It’s a special pleasure to carry them wherever you want. The baby does not yet know that this freedom has yet to be mastered, overcoming his own awkwardness, hurting himself on the hard floor and corners of furniture and running into desperate resistance from adults. The last one is the most offensive. The same mother who until recently did everything right and earned trust suddenly begins to stand in the way of bold creative initiatives. Words are forbidden, don’t touch them, just give them back, spit them out now, be careful, don’t meddle, don’t walk, put them in their place, and sometimes shouting becomes a part of life, and it’s very difficult to endure without protest. How can you protest in a civilized manner if you only have a few words? You have to compensate with loudness and persistence. Especially if experience shows that fortitude is sometimes capable of breaking mother’s resistance. In addition, an adult can be tricked by a trick: wait until he turns away or leaves the room for a minute, and, without wasting time, implement a plan to explore everything curious and forbidden that his hands can reach. With such tactics, anyone will quickly earn a reputation as a brawler. So what to do?

How to respond to a child's tantrums?

The only way to deal with a child's tantrum is to lead the exploration of your intrepid pioneer. This will require a lot of attention. You will have to not only be with the child all the time when he is not sleeping, but also take care of him: live in his interests, satisfy his curiosity, allow him the maximum of what he wants, making sure that the game is safe. Offer (but do not impose) all kinds of activities on him and immerse yourself in them with him. Then there will simply be no ground for protest, and the baby will master the environment much faster and more painlessly than alone. But most importantly, he will be convinced that adults are his friends who know how to make the world interesting and diverse. When a baby cries for no reason that we understand, we say that he is naughty, as if this word explains something. Well, a bad mood - who doesn’t have that? Meanwhile, a bad mood is often the result of accumulated discomfort that a child experiences due to the fact that the routine of his childhood life simply does not suit him. Even about a baby you can say whether he is a sleepyhead or an early bird, a jumper or a contemplator. And parents often rely on fashionable theories of education, hoping to teach their child to live as expected, to instill in him the right qualities. There are many progressive theories about how to raise a child who does not yet speak, but is already walking. Some parents give their toddler complete freedom of action. They feed the baby when he asks, put him to bed when he is exhausted and starts nodding off, and the word “impossible” is fundamentally absent from their vocabulary. Others, on the contrary, establish a strict regime: sleep, food, walks, bathing - by the hour, what is possible and what is not is known once and for all, resistance is pointless. The advantages of each of these approaches, which is typical, have been confirmed by practice. So which one is truly correct when a child is hysterical? The best system is the one that best suits a particular child. The easiest way to find out is through a gentle experiment. There are no ideal systems, just like there are no ideal children. Each family develops individual rules suitable for the baby. The best pedagogical methods are those that are convenient for parents. This means that if a mother has chosen a free system of education, and she herself needs evening rest, she can introduce a strict bedtime routine for the child and not worry that she has broken the rule. And if the mother herself does not like to douse herself with cold water and it takes her breath away when she, confident that this is the right thing to do, douses the child, it is better to stop the procedures. The baby, even if he calmly endures the douche, feels his mother’s stress, and this negates all the benefits of hardening. Do what brings joy to both you and your child, and the causes of tantrums in your child will be minimized.

One and a half year old Sonya pointed at the table and said: Drink! Mom poured water into a cup and handed it to Sonya. The girl shook her head and said again: Drink! Mom put a cup of water on a stool and poured juice into another. But Sonya again shook her head and repeated in a frustrated voice: Pi-i-it! Mom put the juice next to the water and brought milk. I poured it into the third cup. Sonya had tears in her eyes. and she shook her head again. No, drink! - she squeaked. Well, wait a little,” said mom, putting down the milk. “I’ll warm up some tea for you now.” In the meantime, think about it, maybe you should drink some milk? And then Sonya burst into tears and threw all three cups off the stool. Only then did my mother realize that Sonya was not asking for a drink at all, but for a napkin stand with a bird on it. Mom was no less upset than Sonya. She handed the ill-fated napkin holder to the girl, but Sonya was bawling with all her might, looking at the fragments of cups in a multi-colored puddle, and she no longer wanted to play. Just don’t think that Sonya has an unbalanced character. On the contrary, she is a calm and easy-going child. It’s just that we often underestimate the stress that a child experiences due to the inability to fully communicate with adults. What should parents do in such a situation? Try to understand the baby, show patience and tact and treat the child sympathetically. And every day he will speak more and more clearly, and there will be fewer and fewer reasons for misunderstanding.

The culprit is vitamin deficiency

Modern children, especially urban ones, experience negative environmental influences and vitamin deficiency. If a child does not have enough potassium, for example, he experiences discomfort in the muscles, as in acute respiratory infections. And he, if he is two or three years old, of course, cannot tell you about it. He's just crying. And if there is not enough vitamin E, the baby may have trouble falling asleep and start crying for any reason. Lack of vitamin D increases aggression and impulsivity. Therefore, if your child has tantrums too often for no apparent reason, it would not hurt to consult a doctor.

Sources: webdiana.ru, krasotavnytri.ru, polzunki.com, mamochki-detishki.ru

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Hysterics on the street and at home

At home, if your child throws tantrums, you should tell him every time that you will not talk to him until he calms down. However, you should continue to do your normal activities. The peace of mind of parents in this situation is important. Once the seizure has passed, it is important to remind your child that everyone loves him, but whims are not the way to go.

You need to act differently if the hysteria occurs in a public place. First of all, you need to deprive the baby of an audience. It must be taken to where there are the fewest people.

As a precaution, you should avoid situations in which your baby might respond in the negative. Instead of directive instructions, it is better to manipulate the child, giving him an illusory right to choose. For example, ask him: what jacket does he want to wear - blue or green?

If parents behave correctly, by the age of 4, children stop being capricious and throwing tantrums. By this age, children are already learning to express their desires and feelings verbally.

Moreover, at the age of 4, children are already smart enough to understand that their mother’s ban can be lifted by their grandmother. This can be avoided by clearly defining the criteria for what is allowed and what is not allowed for the baby. In this situation, it is important to clearly show that mom (or dad) is the highest authority in the family and her (his) word is unquestioningly fulfilled by everyone.

Types of children's tantrums

Psychologists distinguish two main types of tantrums in children:

manipulative,
manifestations of character.

Hysterics of the first type are nothing more than manipulation of others. A child, wanting to get a certain thing or perform a prohibited action, throws a tantrum to attract attention. Psychologists advise ignoring this behavior. An exception may be cases when the baby really lacks parental attention and love.

Having once achieved his goal, the child will continue to use this method to achieve the goal.

Hysterics as a manifestation of character are nothing more than attempts to relieve emotional or nervous tension. This is a manifestation of the child's character. A similar condition occurs when a child is required to perform an action that interferes with problematic character traits. Emotional and nervous tension at this moment increases and provokes hysteria. In this situation, it is better to take care of the child’s safety so that he does not harm himself and try to calm him down, and then talk to him about his feelings and the situation as a whole.

Hysteria as a sign of health disorder

Pathology of the nervous system can be signaled by systematic attacks and constant whims. You should contact a neurologist in the following cases:

the number of tantrums has increased and the child becomes aggressive;
the attack is accompanied by fainting and shortness of breath;
the period of hysterical behavior did not stop after the age of 4;
in hysterics, a child causes injury to himself or others;
hysterics occur at night, the child wakes up from nightmares, reacts sharply to the darkness;
there is a sharp change in mood;
at the last stage of the attack, the child begins to choke and feels sick;
The attack ends with lethargy and apathy.

If the specialist does not find any health problems, the cause will need to be looked for within the family. All parents and other loved ones should remain calm and united.

Causes

It may seem to adults that the child is putting on a “concert” out of the blue and there is no reason for such behavior. This is not true; hysterics always have a reason. Often parents believe that children are small and do not understand much, but the child reacts sharply to changes in the life of the family or conflict situations in it. Psychologists identify several main reasons leading to children's tantrums:

age crises,
change in usual life,
tense, conflictual situation in the family,
lack of parental love and care,
inconsistent parenting.

Age crises

During the first years of life, a child actively learns, including understanding his emotions, and recognizing himself as an independent person. Various age-related changes lead to crises in the first year of life, two, three years and, less commonly, a crisis of 4-5 years. More details about hysterics associated specifically with age-related crises will be discussed below.

Changing your usual life

For young children, routine and familiarity are important - this is the basis for their sense of security. Any changes in the usual world order cause anxiety in the child, sometimes fears, a lot of different emotions, which can be difficult for him to cope with, which leads to hysterics. Moving, parental divorce, death of relatives, starting kindergarten or changing kindergarten are huge shocks for the child, to which he still needs to get used to. In changed circumstances, the child requires increased care and love from loved ones.

Tension in the family

Even quarrels and conflicts hidden from the child manifest themselves in cold communication and a tense atmosphere. This is already stressful for the baby. What can I say when he witnesses regular abuse from adults? This shakes the child’s nervous system and causes a lot of strong emotions in him. Children often throw tantrums in protest to stop adults quarreling. A tense family environment has a negative impact on the child’s psyche, causing not only hysterics, but also increased anxiety and other disorders.

Lack of parental love and care

Often the cause of children's tantrums is lack of attention. And for the child it becomes not so important how they will pay attention to him, by caressing or shouting, as long as they notice him. Hysteria becomes a kind of attempt to remind oneself.

What matters to children is not the quantity of time spent with them, but the quality. Even if parents do not have the opportunity to entertain their son or daughter for hours, it will be enough to spend a little time together with them, playing, reading or walking, provided they are involved in the process, sincere interest in the child and a joint activity. Of course, all children are different and some require complete “immersion” in their lives, while for others a strong hug once an hour is enough. The quality of communication with the child is important, not the amount of time spent together.

Inconsistent parenting

Inconsistency in parenting refers to situations where one adult prohibits, and the other allows. For example, a mother does not give sweets, and a grandmother or father secretly feeds the child sweets. This “confrontation” leads to the child finding loopholes to get what he wants and, if necessary, using hysterics as a method of manipulation.

It is important for the child to have clear rules that all family members adhere to, then they will not cause him to protest. And the inconsistency of adults’ actions causes anxiety in the child when he does not know what to expect.

Your daily routine is also important. Nervous fatigue caused by a lot of new impressions, and simply physical fatigue can become the causes of children's hysteria. Often tantrums associated with a lost daily routine occur at night.

You need to understand that there are children who are easily excitable, whose nervous system quickly reacts to external stimuli, but due to age, the inhibition processes are poorly developed and this can lead to hysterics. For such children, a clear daily routine and rules that are supported by all family members are important.

The crisis of the first year of life and hysterics associated with it

The first tantrums in a child are usually associated with the one-year crisis. By this point, the child has mastered basic motor skills and his desire to explore the world on his own is great. Parents have to set rules and prohibitions related to the safety of the child, which can lead to outbursts of discontent and hysterics.

Children at this age have not yet developed the perception of time, and that is why they want to get what they want right away. When faced with unmet needs, they experience frustration and anger. The inability to express emotions and their full awareness become the cause of hysterics.

During this period, it may be difficult for parents to cope with the changed behavior of their son or daughter, but they must understand that they do not need to indulge all the wishes of the baby, this is normal. And the child’s reaction to refusal in the form of screams and tears is also normal. Parents' peace of mind is the guarantee that hysterics associated with the crisis of the first year of life will not develop into manipulative behavior in the future.

It is important not to indulge any whim, but to try to explain the reason for the refusal, to explain to the child his feelings. “You’re angry now,” “You’re upset” - by voicing the child’s emotions, the parent teaches him to understand his condition.

The child needs to be helped to understand that by screaming and crying he will not achieve what he wants and he will have to look for other ways to express his feelings.

How to quickly recognize the right type of tantrum

Not every parent has the skills of a subtle psychologist, so sometimes it can be very difficult to determine the type of children's hysteria unfolding before their eyes. And difficulties arise with choosing your own response. But hysterics can be distinguished by a number of nuances.

False hysteria:

You notice that the screaming child listens to you and understands you;
The child quickly calms down after threats of punishment;
The child can be distracted or spoken to, and his attention can be redirected;
It is possible to come to an agreement with the child;
Hysteria is more of a demonstrative nature.

True hysteria:

The child does not understand your words, it is as if he does not hear you;
He does not calm down even after you promised to fulfill his desire;
The child tries to harm you or himself, tries to break something, hit someone;
He cannot control his body, and if he has speech, it is incoherent; Hysteria resembles a state of passion.

Remember: sometimes even an adult finds it difficult to cope with his emotions, and for a small child this is often completely impossible.

Signs of hysteria

Before hysterics, many seem to “prepare” for the upcoming performance. If you manage to catch this moment, you can prevent an attack. This is signaled by special harbingers:

slight whimpering;
snuffling, puffing, grumbling;
pursed or trembling lips (someone sticks out their lower lip offended);
a frowning glance from under his brows at the one on whom the satisfaction of desire depends;
eyes full of tears;
closed pose (arms clasped in front of you);
methodically rocking the body (sitting on a chair or just standing);
nervous, sudden movements;
red face.

How to stop a child's tantrum?

A child's outburst of anger and subsequent hysteria can happen at any moment, and no parent is immune from such behavior in a public place. Psychologists advise adhering to the following rules of behavior:

Provide security. Remove objects that could injure the child and take him to a quiet place if the tantrum happened on the street or in a shopping center.
It is better for parents to remain silent if possible and hug their child. According to psychologists, persuasion and attempts to scold do not work, but only intensify hysteria.
Children's tantrums in public places often attract the attention of well-wishers who believe that they know better than parents how to behave with an unfamiliar child. In cases where the “help” of strangers does more harm than good, you need to calmly but firmly ask them to leave. Statements in the style of: “If you cry, I’ll pick you up” or “I’ll call the police now” and other meaningless statements can frighten a child, who will take the information literally, and will increase the hysteria significantly. After all, children at such a moment are very susceptible and vulnerable.
Parents need to wait until the anger and rage pass and the child enters the grieving phase. At this moment, he needs care and love so that he understands that his “breakdown” did not worsen his parents’ attitude towards him. Hugs and affection are great, and gifts or buying the required toy or candy will only convince the baby that his behavior is correct.
After “fighting back,” children may feel tired or hungry. If possible, you need to satisfy these basic needs, buy a snack or drink, put you to bed if a tantrum happened at home.
It’s worth talking about what happened after a while. Tell the child his feelings and the motives for his behavior. “You’re angry because they didn’t buy you another toy.” It is important to say that such behavior is not to the liking of parents, without transferring to the child’s personality. “I don’t like this behavior of yours.” But not: “You are not tolerable and harmful.”

It is important for parents to understand that tantrums can happen to any child and they are not the only ones who are “wrong”; try not to pay attention to those passing by and not get angry with the child.

How to prevent children's tantrums?

It is clear that no one is immune from children's hysteria. But there are a few tips to help reduce the risk of their occurrence:

The daily routine is suitable for the child, giving him the opportunity to eat and rest when he wants. Habitual routine during the day. There is no need to take a tired or hungry child for a walk or shopping.
Try to avoid excessive prohibitions, allow the child to say “no” and respect his choice.
Talk to your child about his feelings and emotions, teach him to better identify them. “You’re angry because you weren’t given another piece of candy,” “You’re upset that the cartoon is over and we only agreed to watch one.”
Teach your child to safely express anger, tear paper, and stomp their feet. Don't scold him for such behavior.

Children's tantrums can be caused by various reasons, but it is important for parents not to scold the child for them, but to try to help cope with excessively strong emotions.