What to do if a child does not want to sleep during the day at 2-3 years old

Every child's attitude towards kindergarten is different. Some preschoolers love to go there, on weekends they look forward to Monday to meet with friends, while others seem to be serving a sentence while mom and dad are at work. Regardless of this, the child may have problems with daytime sleep in kindergarten - he cannot or does not want to fall asleep during quiet hours. What should parents do in such a situation?

• 2 Reasons why a child refuses to sleep in kindergarten
• 3 Options for solving the problem

  3.1 If the baby still doesn’t sleep

Physiological sleep norms for children 2-3 years old

I can say that modern children, starting from infancy, have a tendency to sleep less than medically accepted norms during the day.

For example, a newborn baby should sleep from feeding to feeding. That is, spend 18-20 hours in sleep. In practice, such cases are rare.

So, modern pediatrics offers the following sleep needs for children two to three years old:

Children are individuals. Therefore, no one demands strict adherence to these norms. The difference in sleep duration, plus or minus up to an hour and a half, is acceptable at this age.

As a rule, by the age of 2, babies go to bed once during the day. And they sleep for at least 1.5 hours. That is, after every six hours of wakefulness they need a short rest in the form of sleep.

Often, by the age of 3-4 years, children refuse daytime sleep without any consequences. But most still need proper rest in the form of naps before school age.

If your baby refuses daytime sleep, and during the night he gets “his norm” of sleep (12-13 hours), then this is his right. There is no need to worry when the baby feels great, remains cheerful, active, inquisitive and does not become capricious when left without naps.

Many parents of children who have given up napping during the day note the pattern that in early childhood they themselves broke the habit of sleeping during the day early.

This cannot be called a hereditary predisposition)) But this interesting pattern from practical experience gives food for thought...

Features of the transition

When to switch to 1 nap depends on the baby’s readiness. Some infants are ready to switch to this regime by the age of one year, and some not earlier than 1.5-2 years. The transition process also proceeds differently. Some children take a long time to get used to it, while others switch right away. Before moving your child to one nap during the day, determine whether he is ready for this.

The first signs of the baby’s readiness appear at 10-12 months:

• He sleeps well in the morning, but it is difficult to put the baby to sleep in the evening;
• Refuses to sleep in the morning and yet feels comfortable;
• Constantly refuses to sleep during the day and resists a second nap;
• Goes to bed and falls asleep too late at night;
• With two good, sound sleeps during the day, the baby begins to wake up earlier and earlier in the morning.

If you notice these signs, begin to gradually reduce your rest time during the day. Doctors note that suitable readiness is observed in children aged 1 year and 3-4 months. At this time, they can calmly stay awake for 5-6 hours a day.

Why does a child need a nap during the day?

And without any scientific evidence, mothers know that adequate sleep for the baby has a beneficial effect on his mental state. A well-rested child is cheerful, calm, and shows interest in new things. He is able to independently find something to do, fantasize, and come up with games.

Good sleep is the main prevention of behavioral and neurological disorders in children.

By about two years of age, neuropsychic processes in the human brain become seriously complicated. Therefore, a child who has not slept during the day very often cannot fall asleep in the evening due to overexcitation. All this is the result of overwork of the nervous system.

It is completely wrong to believe that during sleep the nervous system and, in particular, the brain rest. They work. More precisely, they “process” the received information, impressions and emotions of the child. Sleep is a so-called “reboot” for our brain.

Chronic lack of sleep can cause imbalance in many organs and systems of the body. After all, many hormones and biologically active substances are produced during sleep.

Therefore, constant lack of sleep negatively affects the baby’s immune system. Also, these children have a reduced ability to concentrate, learn and remember. The boys' behavior also suffers. They become irritable and moody.

Helpful: Why doesn’t a baby want to sleep during the day?

Why doesn't a preschooler want to sleep at night?

It becomes difficult to put children to bed in the evening, and they may wake up several times at night

Obviously, in preschool age, quiet time is desirable, but no longer mandatory. But night sleep should be healthy and complete, because it ensures normal growth and harmonious development of the child. But more than half of parents of preschoolers note that it becomes difficult to put their children to bed in the evening, and at night they may wake up several times or stay awake for a long time. Why do such sleep problems occur? How to resolve them and put a 4-6 year old child to sleep without tears and hysterics?

Problem: crisis 5 years

This name for the age crisis is conditional; in children it can manifest itself earlier or later. At preschool age, children are already quite developed, they can talk, think logically, and fantasize. Their life is a series of exploration and interesting discoveries. It is not surprising that they begin to feel like adults, as a result of which they strive to become on the same level as their parents. The crisis of 5 years is manifested by disobedience and rebellion, frequent mood swings. The child can “gush” energy or, conversely, withdraw into himself. Pampering before bed can be one of the components of a problematic period.

In this case, you cannot put pressure on the child, force him, much less punish him or behave aggressively. You need to show patience and love, be able to come to an agreement with the baby, and explain to him the need to go to bed on time. A compromise is possible: move the time to fall asleep by half an hour so that the child listens to an extra chapter of his favorite book or simply talks with his parents “like an adult,” and then goes to bed without whims. Then he will understand that his wishes are respected and, most likely, will change his behavior.

Problem: childhood fears

At preschool age, a child learns the feeling of fear. Firstly, he already knows that there are dangers in the world that need to be objectively feared. Secondly, now he is a little dreamer, his brain can generate the most incredible pictures. If a five-year-old sees a monster under the bed, it really is in his imagination. It is impossible to ignore the fears of a preschooler, otherwise it can give rise to serious psychological problems. It is better to understand their cause and try to help the child.

Fears that prevent a child from falling asleep can be of different natures. Some of them are generated by the adults themselves. They can be for children, when a preschooler is afraid to be alone in his bed/in the dark because of Grandma Hedgehog, a monster or some other frightening fairy-tale character, or for adults. Thus, many children 4-6 years old are already afraid of fires, illnesses, natural disasters and even death.

Many people think that if they fall asleep, they will never see mom and dad again. Preschoolers are very suspicious. To avoid creating fear in children that prevents them from falling asleep, parents should:

• avoid having “adult” conversations in front of preschoolers: about wars, misfortunes, crimes, illnesses and death;
• watch relevant programs and films;
• do not allow children to play computer games that involve violence;
• use the child’s imagination to “make black white” (for example, if a child is afraid of the Snow Queen, come up with a fairy tale in which she reformed and became an assistant to Father Frost and the Snow Maiden, something similar);
• With love and care, let the child understand that he is under the reliable protection of loved ones;
• choose a protector toy and endow it with magical powers, with which it will help the child cope with any danger;
• Put your child to bed with a night light.

You will also be interested in the article Children's fears from 4 to 6 years old and ways to deal with them

Problem: nightmares

This problem most often exists simultaneously with the previous one. A preschooler's fear of having a nightmare precedes him falling asleep. In the middle of the night, your child may wake up scared, agitated, and disoriented.

In addition to the fact that first of all you need to help the child overcome his fears, it is necessary to provide him with a favorable emotional environment:

• parents should behave calmly and not quarrel in front of the child;
• they should organize walks and calming activities for him before bed;
• falling asleep should be preceded by massage and water procedures;
• Computer and TV are prohibited before bedtime.

Reasons why children refuse naps

There can be many reasons for disruption of daytime sleep in children 2-3 years old.

Most often you have to deal with the following:

• The child gets up late (closer to noon) due to a prolonged night's sleep. When a child sleeps until 10-11 o'clock in the afternoon, he simply will not get tired by 14-15 o'clock in the afternoon. As a result, the child does not want to go to bed during the day. Towards the evening, the child may want to sleep, but such a late evening sleep again delays the transition to night sleep. Putting your child to bed late at night also promises a late rise in the morning. The circle is closed.
• No wasted energy. If a child does not run enough, walk enough, or play outdoor games, then he, without feeling tired, cannot and does not want to fall asleep. It is walks in the fresh air that allow the baby to expend a lot of energy. But at the same time, the child’s nervous system is not overexcited, as during active games “within four walls.”
• The baby is excited. Many parents have noticed that when the usual way of life is disrupted by some non-standard event (the arrival of guests, a trip to the store, a trip somewhere, a change in time zones), the excited baby does not want to go to bed during the day. Sometimes all attempts to put the baby to bed come to naught. As a result, both mother and baby are exhausted, but the goal is not achieved. Frequent cases are emotional overstrain and nervous overexcitement associated with excessively active games in the first half of the day.
• External stimuli. Stuffy or cold in the room, uncomfortable clothes for sleeping, too light, extraneous sounds, inappropriate crib arrangement, uncomfortable bedding - this is only an approximate and far from complete list of everything that can prevent a child from falling asleep.
• Non-compliance with the daily and sleep schedule by parents. Many parents will say: “A regime for a child sounds a bit harsh.” I hasten to assure you that the concept of regime does not mean training and requirements for specific actions at a given moment, but the sequence of actions and events during the day. This gives a feeling of stability and comfort. Thanks to this, the child clearly orients himself in time.

For example, it is morning, and in the morning we have breakfast. Then we brush our teeth. Then we take out the toys that have already fallen asleep and play. And very soon we will go on our first walk. And after the walk, everyone needs to rest. Etc.

Children quickly adopt the behavior model of adults in the family. They often perceive all actions or events unfamiliar to them with caution or with obvious rejection. And if the events are predictable and familiar, then he won’t have to explain for a long time that this is necessary and everyone does it.

This is an excellent method to teach a child from childhood to brush his teeth, make his bed, put away toys, and the like without much persuasion.

I know what I’m talking about... I want to share my experience of improving my son’s sleep by switching to “routine.” But more on that below.

When you start to figure out with the baby’s mother how the problem started, very often the same situation becomes clear. Moms say: today they couldn’t put them to bed, there was no time to put them to bed, because...

Today mom didn’t have time for one reason, tomorrow for another... And after a week the baby was already used to not sleeping. The body has adapted, a habit has formed. And to form a reverse habit takes effort and time.

So before you ask the question of why your baby doesn’t sleep during the day to someone else, ask yourself. And answer yourself honestly. Of course, not always, but often this way it is possible to find the cause and solve the problem.

It is also worth highlighting separately the pathological causes of a neurological nature due to which the baby’s sleep is disturbed.

1. Hyperactive baby. Such energizer kids are in constant motion, very active, and act impulsively, without any thought.

They find it difficult to concentrate on the game. They fuss, are sloppy - they break or drop things. There are emotional outbursts and rapid mood changes. As a rule, they sleep little, restlessly and intermittently. These are all features of the functioning of their nervous system.

Helpful: How much sleep should every 3 month old baby sleep?

It is too early and wrong to talk about attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) at the age of two or three years. But it is necessary to grasp the general development trend and behavioral characteristics of a child at this age.

The behavior of parents of such hyperactive children should “extinguish” this hyperactivity or direct it in the right direction. And the wrong position of parents can harm the child and form complexes in the baby.

Thus, parents who are always irritable and/or blaming everyone around for all their “sins” expose their child to chronic stress.

For hyperactive children, a daily routine is simply necessary. Repeated actions every day in a certain order stimulate the production of a “biological clock” in the body. This will make it easier for the children to adjust to a change in activity.

2. Hidden somatic diseases in children over two years of age can cause anxiety and sleep disturbances. Strong emotions or impressions experienced during the day can interrupt their sleep.

Only a specialist will help you understand the true reasons for your baby’s sleep disturbances. And such a visit to the doctor should not be postponed.

How to determine whether a child is ready to give up sleep during the day?

• The baby categorically does not want to sleep during the day and does not experience any negative consequences of the lack of daytime rest.

Let me clarify a little what can be considered negative consequences. For example, a child becomes agitated or capricious in the evening. Or in the case of not just fatigue, but overwork, it is difficult to put the baby to sleep at night.

At the same time, the child’s night sleep becomes restless, he often wakes up, and gets up too early. Like an adult, a child falls asleep well when he is tired enough, but not overtired.

• The baby takes longer and longer to fall asleep when he goes to bed during the day. He shows no signs of fatigue by nap time, the baby looks cheerful and cheerful.
• You have difficulty getting your baby to sleep at night if your baby sleeps during the day. By the evening, the baby does not show sufficient fatigue.

What should the parents of the baby do?

The quality and duration of a baby's sleep directly depends on how the child spends the day. Everything matters - how the baby eats, how and where it walks, where it sleeps, and so on.

Therefore, all recommendations to parents of a healthy baby will concern the organization of the child’s day.

Namely:

1. Do not overfeed your baby before bedtime. At least half an hour should pass after the last meal and bedtime.

2. Eliminate all possible external irritants (noise, bright light, uncleaned toys).

3. Ventilate the room where the baby should sleep. Monitor the humidity and temperature in the room. Too dry air will cause the child's mucous membranes to dry out and become thirsty. The baby will be uncomfortable and will wake up frequently. The optimal room temperature is 19-21˚C.

4. Stick to a routine. Try to put your baby to bed at the same time every day. Bedtime should be preceded by “sleepy” rituals that are repeated day after day.

This could be reading books, drawing or any quiet activity. You can invite your child to put his toys to bed, close the curtains, and change into pajamas. He will be calmer if he knows that everyone will relax with him.

5. Eliminate visual and emotional overload. Don't let your child watch cartoons before bed. All communication with “on-screen friends” should generally be kept to a minimum at this age.

Cartoons playing in the background all day long is a huge evil. The mother needs to be weaned off this first. The general objection is that it’s so convenient: you turn it on and the baby is busy, so mom can do something. But you somehow choose for yourself from two options - it’s convenient for you or a healthy nervous system and normal sleep for the baby.

6. Don't scold your child if he can't sleep. Maintain a calm atmosphere in the family. The mother's irritable tone only further excites the baby's nervous system. Therefore, screaming and threats not only will not help put the child to sleep, but will leave a persistent negative attitude towards sleep and the bed in general.

At this age, children have the so-called “mirroring” syndrome of their mother’s emotions and mood. Children often adopt their mother's communication style and emotions. They imitate their parents in everything. Be a good example for your child.

7. Organize your child’s day so that he gets adequate physical activity in the first half of the day. The child must throw out energy and play well and actively on the street.

Also make sure that such activity smoothly transitions into quiet time before bed. Avoid overly emotional games. This can interfere with your baby's restful sleep.

8. Children of different ages need different times to fall asleep. Children aged two years may need 20-30 minutes to fall asleep. And three-year-old children can spend an hour falling asleep. Show love, calm, patience and fortitude.

What to do to help your baby sleep well

This requires sufficient physical activity. Let the little one run around and play enough, use physical exercises and introduce children to sports, walk in the fresh air. But make sure that he doesn’t get overtired during the day and doesn’t get overexcited in the evening! This only interferes with sound sleep. The first half of the day should be the most active.

In the evening, 2-3 hours before going to bed, allow only calm, quiet games or activities, you can perform water procedures, and get a massage. Read or tell your little one a story. You can give a glass of warm milk or tea with honey. Don't give kefir! Don't forget about psychological comfort.

Put your children to bed at the same time and have a daily bedtime routine. This should be a single algorithm with the same procedures and the same sequence of actions. Give your child the right to choose. Let him choose pajamas, a toothbrush, a fairy tale. Read here how to teach your baby to fall asleep on his own.

Girls, I would like to know at what age your children began to sleep once a day. My Bunny is now a little over a year and a month old. About a week ago he stopped sleeping for the second time (usually this was done during a walk), now he wants to sit on the street and look around or stomp his feet. The first time he sleeps for an hour and a half, he gets up around half past one. And then he stays awake until the evening (usually until 21.00). I also have him so active that if he sits motionless for a minute, it’s already something: he constantly rushes around, gets up and falls, dances, climbs on chairs, sofas, etc. And by the evening he begins to stagger, but still holds on, does not give up, but constantly yawns and rubs his eyes. I’m wondering whether the time has already come and we just need to calm down, or somehow revise the regime. I feel sorry for the little one.

Olga writes (

olkan

)

Today about a specific topic: The transition from 2 naps to 1, which usually occurs between 1 and 1.5 years. I switched my daughter to 1 nap rather abruptly as soon as she stopped going to 2 naps around the year. Now that I know more, I understand that I could have avoided the period from 13 to 15 months with getting up at 4-5 am EVERY DAY - a sad result of the accumulated hyperfatigue I missed.

In general, I hope it will help someone (and it will help me when Danilych grows up to the transition).

Around 10-11 months, children begin to show signs of switching from 2 to 1 sleep (well, of course, this could be a little earlier or later)

Typically it looks like this:

1. The child sleeps well in the morning, but refuses evening sleep

2. The child refuses morning sleep

3. The child sleeps 2 good sleeps, but begins to wake up earlier and earlier in the morning.

Many parents believe that being nap-free means being prepared for one nap, but this is not true. The transition usually takes several months, and although it begins at this age, the transition to one sleep occurs between 12 and 18 months. However, these are signs that your baby needs less naps during the day and more wakefulness.

If points 1 and 3 apply to your child, then the solution is to gradually reduce naps - start waking your child up for naps earlier and earlier. Most parents start by limiting morning sleep to 1 hour 15 minutes (if the child regularly sleeps for 1.5 hours), so in the wakefulness following this sleep the child will be less rested and will no longer refuse evening sleep.

If your child regularly gets up too early, then along with the shortening of morning sleep, it needs to be moved a little later, by 20-30 minutes. This will help the child sleep longer at night, because the body will know that it will not be able to immediately “make up” for the lack of sleep.

If the child belongs to point 2 and refuses morning sleep, then try to offer a morning sleep later than usual so that the child wants to sleep more, and let him sleep as long as he sleeps. If he doesn't sleep enough and the night is still too far away, offer a short nap later and/or put him to bed earlier. Very gradually move your morning naps later and later, going to bed early to avoid hyperfatigue, aiming for a final nap position of about 5 hours after waking up in the morning to get back to your normal bedtime.

Remember that when you change your child's routine, he needs at least a few days, if not more than a week, for his internal clock to readjust. Don't expect immediate results, especially if waking up early is a problem.

If you limit the length of naps during the day, for many children this will mean reducing the amount of time they are awake. Especially if morning sleep is reduced, they may miss their usual evening bedtime and need to go to bed earlier. For example, if your child was previously able to handle 4 hours of nap time, reducing naps to 1 hour 15 minutes may mean that evening naps need to be 3 hours later.

As you change your routine, you need to be vigilant to ensure that hyperfatigue does not begin to accumulate. As with any change in routine, it takes some time and several attempts to move dreams to find the ideal combination of wakefulness and sleep, so consistency and patience are required.

Basic principles:

1. Stick to 2 sleeps for as long as you can . The closer you get to 1.5 years, the more likely the child will be awake without falling into the hyperfatigue cycle, and the shorter the transition itself will be. I know that the thought of finally having one wonderful long afternoon nap is extremely attractive, but if he is not ready for this, things can end in crisis.

2. Resist the temptation to go all at once and simply replace 2 naps in the morning and evening with one nap in the afternoon. The first few days everything may be fine, but as fatigue accumulates, the regime will begin to go astray, and it will be very, very difficult to get out of this.

3. Know your child and his needs and what you are striving for. If your child needs 13 hours of sleep and isn't getting it, he may already be in a hyperfatigue cycle.

4 . Know how to determine hyperfatigue in a child - if dreams begin to shorten, he begins to wake up earlier in the morning, or wakes up frequently at night, there is a high chance that the child is ALREADY in a cycle of hyperfatigue. He may be taking a very long time to settle down and fall asleep (although this could also be a sign that he is not tired enough), so taking a long time to fall asleep would indicate hyperfatigue if one of the other factors is also present. Or, perhaps, he is very capricious when going to bed or waking up, does not want to let you go, when he wakes up at night, cries.

5. Early bedtime!!!! Don’t be afraid to put your child to bed both at 7 pm and at 6, if they don’t get 1.5 hours of daytime sleep, they need to get it somewhere, or hyperfatigue will ruin your holiday.

6. Be flexible. Just because you're switching to 1 nap doesn't mean you can't offer your child two if he needs them. Do everything possible so that they can catch up on lack of sleep and avoid hyperfatigue. It is not at all necessary to live in the “1 sleep” or “2 sleep” mode; it is quite possible to combine some period of time.

7. Be patient . Accept that the transition will take about a couple of months. There may not be enough hours in your daily routine right now to allow you to be sufficiently awake and have 2 naps, BUT there are still too many hours to last on 1 nap. They should grow into this at some point between 12 and 18 months.

8. Be flexible with feedings and offer your baby an early lunch or dinner, or break up lunch or dinner with bedtime. It's only for a couple of months, and then everything will go back to normal.

9. If a nightmare sets in If a child is chronically hyperfatigued, and his daytime dreams do not work out in any way, and it is not possible to catch up even by going to bed early, then the best thing that can be done is to stop being flexible, and on the contrary, fix one dream closest by the time of wakefulness that the child can handle (say 11 days after waking up at 7 am), put him to bed earlier at night (say 6 pm instead of 8 pm) and hold out for a week, no matter what, and hope that everything stabilizes . If the child can stand it, then you can begin to gradually move the daytime nap of 15 minutes every 4 days a little later until he is in place. If you can’t stand it... then you’ll have to return 2 naps and try to hold on to them for another month or two, until the child grows up and can’t stay awake longer

Should a child of two or three years old always sleep during the day?

All children are different. You always need to take into account the characteristics of a particular baby, his temperament.

Useful: Weaning your child off motion sickness before bed

And yet, it is more than desirable for a two-year-old child to maintain daytime naps. Especially if you are going to send your child to kindergarten later. There, sleep is part of the daily routine. If the child is not used to sleeping, this is additional stress when adapting to kindergarten.

By the age of three, children are more likely to refuse sleep. And they reach such an age - “I don’t want to, I won’t!” In other words, a crisis of three years.

Of course, you can get out of this using their own methods. Say that you won't sleep today. The kid will want to resist this too and, quite likely, will say, “No. Will!"

If the baby categorically refuses to sleep during the day, but at the same time behaves calmly until the evening, then you should not be zealous. Replace sleep with quiet reading, modeling, drawing, putting together puzzles, large beads or pasta into a “necklace” for mom.

It is likely that such babies go to bed early in the evening and get a full night's sleep to compensate for the lack of daytime sleep.

Unfortunately, not all sleep problems can be solved by correcting the child’s daily routine. If your child’s sleep processes and falling asleep are disrupted not only during the day, but also at night, you should contact a pediatrician and neurologist. Especially if such sleep changes are systemic in nature.

A neurologist will conduct an examination and rule out neurological causes of sleep disturbance. He can prescribe a relaxing massage, baths with soothing ingredients, herbal medicine and other useful and effective procedures.

What about kindergarten?

Often parents force their child to sleep during the day only because quiet time in kindergarten is a mandatory element of the regime.

Is your child going to kindergarten? Do not frighten him in advance with a “strict” regime and the need to fall asleep exactly on time. Talk about kindergarten as an exciting adventure. There you can do everything with friends - play, walk, have lunch, sleep.

In most cases, in a kindergarten group, a child gets into a routine much easier and enjoys sleeping in the company of his peers. But there are also exceptions. And here the main task of parents is not to turn the teacher into an opponent, but to make him their ally.

Tell him about your problems and doubts, ask for advice. Sometimes a favorite toy that the baby can take with him to the garden helps him fall asleep.

And there are also cases when teachers allow the child not to sleep, but simply lie quietly in the crib, looking at pictures in books. There are many options - find yours.