how to potty train a child at night is a question that worries all parents

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Ekaterina Rakitina Doctor Dietrich Bonhoeffer Klinikum, Germany

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Article last updated: 05/24/2019

There comes a time in every baby’s development when it’s time to try to relieve themselves on their own. Most mothers try to put the baby in the potty as early as possible, in order to avoid spending on disposable diapers and reducing the amount of washing, while others delay this day for unacceptable periods, thus showing their strange concern.

But few people realize that there is an optimal period when it is advisable to start potty training babies. Learning this much-needed skill on time will take place quickly and as efficiently as possible, without causing psychological and physical discomfort to both the child and his parents.

How to teach a child to ask

There are a huge number of methods for teaching a child to ask to go to the toilet at night or to do without it altogether.

The second option is more preferable.

Small children sleep very soundly; their bodies are not yet able to wake up after the urge to relieve themselves.

Moreover, this applies not only to nighttime sleep, but also to daytime sleep.

Disposable diapers are, of course, a way out of the situation, but many parents try to get rid of them as quickly as possible. In this case, the child wets the diaper. And if you wash the last part, you don’t want to leave your baby sleeping in a wet bed. There is only one thing left - to teach the child to ask to go to the potty at night.

Every mother dreams of her baby quickly learning to use the potty. How to quickly potty train a child - read useful tips.

Teaching a child to read – when to start and how to teach, you will learn by reading this article.

You will learn how to wean your child off diapers and potty train in this topic.

Potty training should be done after 1.5 years

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, children reach physiological maturity between 18 and 24 months. This means that any attempts to master the potty should begin only after 18 months!

Now let’s talk about what method can be used to teach a child this skill easily and correctly. To potty train your child quickly, you need to use a child-centered method. This means that the degree of maturity of the nervous system will be taken into account. After all, this is what determines the child’s readiness to acquire this skill. With this model of training, there is no pressure from parents on the child, there is no stress, because the child is physically ready, as well as psychologically. He becomes a central figure in this process, he wants and can learn this, he is aware of what he is doing and what they want from him.

The physiological method of potty training is based on three main principles:

Physical maturity - strengthening the muscles of the sphincters of the rectum and urethra, development of innervation of the rectum and bladder.
Psychological maturity - the child is ready to follow instructions, understands why and what is asked of him.
Emotional readiness is a positive attitude towards learning new skills.

How to train your child to go potty at night

Pediatricians say: if the baby is not yet 2-2.5 years old, then there is no need to worry.

Do not forget about individual developmental characteristics. Some children start asking to use the potty from one year old, while others continue to pee in kindergarten.

Here are some simple but effective ways to teach your child to ask to go potty at night, which will be useful for young parents.

Causes of bedwetting in children

It is important to divide the concept of enuresis into 2 types: primary and secondary. With primary enuresis, children pee in their pants from birth, but with age this process declines. Then the baby begins to control his discharge. Secondary enuresis occurs when the child is ready to sleep without a diaper at night, but some external factor provokes the reverse process. The causes differ for different types of enuresis. For primary it is:

The child temporarily does not feel the desire to urinate.
Immaturity of the nervous and urinary systems.

Causes of secondary enuresis:

stress;
scary dreams;
large amounts of food or water before falling asleep;
cold in the room where the child sleeps.
medical reasons (more about them).

If a child pees in the bed at night, let’s try to figure it out what to do.

Favorite and least favorite pot

To begin with, pay attention to the child’s attitude towards the potty during the daytime.

Many children simply do not want to be “friends” with him for many reasons. It may be uncomfortable, too high, too low, cold or hard.

Another point. First of all, the potty should not be associated with a toy.

Do not buy pots with music, various buttons, levers, or pictures. Choose a simple option with a comfortable butt hole. Explain to your child that the potty is for business, not play. The bath is for bathing, the chair is for sitting, the plate is for food, and the pot is for the toilet. The faster the baby develops the association “potty – pee and poop”, the faster and more painless the process will be.

Once your baby understands what to do with the potty, move on to the next step.

Which pot should you choose?

The range of pots in children's stores is huge. My eyes run wild: with the steering wheel, and with giraffes, and with dogs, and with flashing lights. But all these game elements, designed to make the child friends with the potty, will only distract from the necessary task. Therefore, limit your choice to your favorite children's color. It is safest to buy a pot made of plastic. Firstly, it is more pleasant to the body and does not feel too cold. Secondly, it is durable and lightweight. Pots with an O-shaped hole are suitable for girls, while pots with a more elongated shape are suitable for boys. Pay special attention to the stability of the night vase.

Bedtime story

Often children do not control their bladder because they sleep restlessly.

In order for your baby to get a good night's sleep, he needs to be prepared for bed. For this:

Before bed, tell your baby a story;
keep him busy with quiet play;
sing a lullaby;
dim the lights, turn off the TV;
Give him a relaxing massage before bed.

In a word, the hour and a half before going to bed should pass in a calm environment. During this time, the child will relax and calm down. Consequently, you will sleep peacefully and wet your diapers less.

Young children have nightmares more often than adults. This is why it is so important to teach them to properly prepare for bed.

Epilepsy

The cause of nocturnal enerusea can be increased excitability of the brain, which manifests itself as epilepsy-like seizures. They most often occur at night and cause uncontrolled urination. This disease can be diagnosed by undergoing an overnight examination in a clinic, where brain activity during sleep is determined using an electroencephalograph. Also, during the entire night session there is a video camera that records all the baby’s movements during sleep. After a comprehensive diagnosis, doctors make or remove a diagnosis.

Am I an adult?

At 2.5-3 years old, a child begins to understand that he is an individual. This is one of the crises of growing up, which are accompanied by whims and hysterics. However, this period can also be beneficial.

Tell your child that he is old enough to go to the potty on his own and ask to go to the toilet at night.

Change your night diapers to panty diapers. Show me how to remove them. Explain that he now needs to go potty like adults and not sleep in diapers.

As a rule, these three tips are enough to teach your baby to ask to go to the potty. The child understands what this item is for, begins to feel like an individual and calmly goes to bed. To make the scheme definitely work, add praise to it.

Praise helps

If your child has learned to go potty during the day, be sure to praise him for his work.

At the same time, you need to add how great it would be if he asked to go to the toilet at night instead of wetting the bed.

Children love to be praised. But don't overdo it.

Don't promise sweets and gifts. Follow the “pot for business” principle. You don’t give your baby gifts because he sleeps in a crib and not somewhere else, do you? Simple verbal encouragement is enough.

Don't scold! Even after the child begins to go to the potty on his own. By the age of 4, children have not yet fully developed the process of urination; misfires are possible, and this is normal.

Early successes, but successes?

Probably, almost any mother, reading this article, can remember the stories of friends, relatives or neighbors, about how their child, from almost 7-8 months old, can pee on the potty on the command “pee-pee” or poop after their hysterical "ah-ah-ah." Such stories circulate on various forums, on playgrounds and, of course, among mothers and grandmothers, who often consider diapers to be a universal evil, and diapers and a potty from birth as the best thing that can happen in a child’s life.

As already mentioned, at this age and in this way you can force a child to go potty, but this will only be a conditioned reflex, don’t blame me, like Pavlov’s dogs. By repeated repetition of sounds (or the occurrence of another stimulus, turning on the water, for example) and holding the child on the potty until he does what you (!) intended, you will, of course, achieve the emergence of a conditioned reflex.

But collapse awaits such parents after 1.5 years. Just when the innervation of the pelvic organs is formed. The child’s bladder is not full, there is no signal about this, certain centers of the brain are not irritated, but the child is seated on the potty and pestered with his “pee-pee”. By this time, he can already resist and be aware of his actions and understands what they want from him. So it turns out that the old method no longer works, and no one teaches it a new one, hence the mistakes, wet pants and bewilderment of unknowing parents.

From a medical point of view, such a skill is superficial and unstable.

Training up to 18 months	Training after 18 months
Skill Durability	The skill is not stable, it is easily lost	The skill is persistent and not lost
What is the skill based on?	The skill is based on conditioned reflexes	Conscious action controlled by the brain
Duration of training	Learning a skill is long and unproductive	Learning is fast and easy
Miss Rate	Frequent mistakes, stress for the child and parents	Mistakes are rare; for the child, the learning process is easier and without negative evaluation

To wake up or not to wake up?

Many parents practice putting their child on the potty at night to prevent him from wetting the bed. This can and should be done, but it must be done correctly:

Don't wake your baby if he's fast asleep. As a rule, children who feel discomfort from a full bladder begin to toss and turn in their sleep. This is the perfect moment.
Some mothers prefer to sit a sleeping child on the potty for business. This process may cause enuresis in the future. Be sure to wake your baby so that he gets up and goes to the toilet on his own.
Try to wake up your child at the same time every day. At the same time, gradually delay the moment of waking up for the toilet so as to reduce it to the morning, the time of natural awakening.

Skill learning process

It is important to understand what the process should be like, how to potty train a child, what needs to be done for this?

Show your child that you can sit on the potty

First you just need to show the child that you can sit on the potty; you can simply sit the child on the potty without requiring him to use it for its intended purpose. But don’t let him play with it, otherwise the child will perceive the potty as a toy.

Place him on the potty whenever possible when he wants to go to the toilet.

If the child does not resist sitting on it, start putting him on the potty at those times when the child is most likely to want to pee. For example, after sleep, after eating.

The baby's behavior sometimes suggests that he wants to go to the toilet.

Watch your baby, often before the process of urination or defecation, children can become quiet, as if thinking, someone is trying to take off their panties, sometimes it happens that they can flinch. Let this be a signal for you that it’s time to put your child on the potty.

Don’t scold or get upset if you miss and praise if you managed to go to the potty

If mistakes happen, don’t be upset, they will happen for a while and that’s normal. Some people teach a child to pee on the potty in a week, others take longer, and these are all variations of the norm. If the child did everything correctly and managed to go to the potty, be sure to praise him.

Strengthen the skill with repetitions

If there is a mistake, then ask the child where to pee or poop; if he doesn’t answer you and doesn’t point to the potty, take him to the potty and show him yourself, repeat “You need to pee on the potty, here.”

Going to the potty should be something akin to a ritual

All actions must be consistent and performed by the child whenever possible; he must get used to it. If he cannot do something, then an adult helps him, explaining what he is doing. For example, we take off our panties, then sit them on the potty, after successfully completing the process, we put on panties, take out the potty, flush the toilet, wash the potty, wash our hands. The child must get used to the fact that there is a certain order of actions.

Leave it wet

There is another way to teach a child to ask to go to the potty at night, but it will work when other methods have been tried and have not yielded any results.

Do not put your baby to sleep in a diaper and do not place absorbent film underneath.

Cover the mattress with regular medical oilcloth, and place a sheet or regular cotton diaper on top.

If the baby wets himself at night, he will feel uncomfortable sleeping and will start waking up at night to use the toilet. But be careful. If after a week the child still wets the bed, then it is better to return to disposable diapers. This means that the time has not come. Postpone all attempts for a month or two.

Less fluid at night means less walking and peeing.

Often children cannot fall asleep without an extra portion of compote, tea, milk or plain water.

In this case, parents need to determine: is the child really thirsty or is this one of the opportunities to delay the moment of going to bed?

How to understand that a child is making up thirst? Tell him there is nothing to drink.

If the baby, after being naughty, declares that he is hungry or asks for a toy, then most likely he simply did not want to go to bed. In this case, instead of drinking, tell a calm story or sing a lullaby. Replace compote or tea with a more acceptable ritual for falling asleep.

If the child is really thirsty, then mom and dad need to change his daily routine. Not much, but just enough for the baby to relieve himself before bed and calmly go to bed with an empty bladder. You'll see that the baby will pee less or stop wetting his diapers altogether.

The time will come

Many parents believe that there is no need to teach their child to use the toilet independently; everything will happen when the time comes.

Indeed, this makes sense. There is no need to spoil your and your child’s nerves.

Why swear when it’s enough to let the process take its course for a month or two? Perhaps the child is simply not yet ready for such an important task.

As mentioned above, you don’t have to rush your baby to go potty at night if he is under three years old.

If the child is already 4-5 years old, and he still pees in the crib, then you need to consult a doctor. Perhaps the baby has kidney problems. The pediatrician will examine him and, if necessary, give a referral to a specialized specialist.

A little about anatomy and physiology

To better understand why training should begin no earlier than 1.5 years, I’ll touch on this section a little. Conscious going to the potty is possible only with the formation of neuromuscular connections between the pelvic organs and the brain. These connections are formed precisely after 18 months.

This represents the nerve fibers that form plexuses around the bladder and rectum, which send the impulse to fill the organ first to the spinal cord, and then the signal is transmitted to the brain, thus causing the urge to go to the toilet. The right skill can only be formed if these connections are present. And they form after 1.5 years and have nothing to do with how soon you start introducing the child to the potty.

Even from birth, you can torment yourself and your child with attempts to potty train, but neuromuscular transmission will be formed in any case after 1.5 years! If you start potty training when the child’s body is completely ready for it, then everything will go much easier and faster.

What does Doctor Komarovsky say?

Evgeny Komarovsky, a popular pediatrician who can be found on television shows, gives interesting and practical advice on the health and behavior of children.

He enjoys great authority among many parents and grandparents, as he explains even the most complex issues simply and clearly.

Komarovsky offers parents a small test, the result of which will show whether the child is ready for the potty or not. If most of the answers to the following statements are positive, then it’s time to potty train your child:

the baby can remain dry for an hour and a half;
the baby understands what “pipi” and “kaka” mean;
the process of defecation is stable, the child goes to the toilet “largely” regularly, at approximately the same time;
the baby knows the main parts of the body and can show them on himself or on another person;
the baby begins to be capricious when his diaper or panties become wet, he feels discomfort;
can independently remove some of his clothing, for example, lower his pants or panties.

However, the most important sign, according to Dr. Komarovsky, is certain gestures and sounds that the child makes when he wants to write.
He may squeeze your legs, try to take off your panties, press your hand to your crotch, or hold your tummy.

If you notice such an action in your baby, then it’s time to teach him to sit on the potty, including at night.

As you can see, there is no need to rush and panic if your neighbor’s daughter started asking to go to the toilet at night when she was two years old, and your 2.5-year-old son just can’t make friends with his earthenware friend during the day.

Between 1 and 2 years of age, children are toilet trained. How to teach a child to ask to go to the potty without tears and hysterics - we use the gingerbread method.

You will find even more useful information about potty training your child in the following material.

Each child is individual, therefore, everyone has their own time X. Engage with him, play educational games, tell stories and poems, just communicate. After all, the development of your baby primarily depends on you.

However, don't run faster than the locomotive! You still can’t fool nature. It is impossible to teach a child to ask to go potty at night if he is not physically and mentally ready for this. Wait a month or two and try again. You will be surprised how quickly a baby is able to learn about the world and himself.

Training methods

Parents use different methods to potty train their child, but often these methods turn out to be incorrect, lead to stress for the child and for the parents, a lot of time is wasted, and the result may never come, and even if it does, it is unstable and based on incorrect base.

Previously, the method of training during the first year of life was widespread, and many mothers and grandmothers advocate for it, unfortunately, and some pediatricians who are illiterate in this matter. Early training has long been recognized as unphysiological and incorrect. In this case, neither the psychological readiness of the child, nor, especially, physical maturation was taken into account at all.

Because of this, the learning process was long and unproductive. Moreover, since the child during this period is not yet really ready for training, the method was based on pressure from adults. What could not entail any positive reactions, it caused:

stress in a child
often resulted in the appearance of psychosomatic and neurological diseases
for example, constipation, fecal and/or urinary incontinence
surprisingly, but also logoneuroses, nervous tics
in later life, this stress often gave rise to problems such as enuresis, encopresis, and an overactive bladder.

How often did parents have to deal with such manifestations, but how rarely did they manage to understand the true cause of them.

These outdated methods were based on creating conditioned reflexes, but not on developing a correct and conscious skill. Thus, an incorrect chain of actions was created, the parents encouraged the child to empty the bladder with the sounds of gurgling water or “pee-pee”, after which the child could pee.

Through constant repetition, the child could learn to empty the bladder after these sounds, when the incentive to do so should be to fill the bladder. A skill acquired in this way is unstable and can easily be lost, since it is based on a completely incorrect basis.

It can be lost as a result of any stress (change of place of residence, quarrels between parents, going to kindergarten), as well as when the child reaches an age when the innervation of the pelvic organ has matured, when it was really only necessary to begin the process of accustoming. After which it becomes much more difficult for a child to acquire the correct skill.