Consultation with a psychologist “Why does a child lie?”

"We have to deceive you,

To maintain your trust."

Mieczyslaw Sharan

No action worries parents more than a child's lies. Why do children lie? “How is a child capable of deception? I advised, helped, and in response I received betrayal. The son/daughter has failed their trust, how they will grow up…” – this is what adults sadly think when faced with the deception of their dear children.

Mommies panic, associating such an act with a crime. In their opinion, a child's lies call into question parental love and trust. But not everything is so sad! Children have their own philosophy of life, which can manifest itself where it is not necessary.

Lies and fantasy

For people who are not familiar with and have not studied the basics of child psychology, it becomes a discovery that a little person’s lies are a natural and normal indicator of full development. Your own kids lie no less than your neighbors’ kids! But lies come in different forms. When thinking about what to do to stop a child from lying, consider his age!

Can a 3 year old child lie?

At what age do children start lying? The first lie can be heard from a baby as soon as he learns to talk. Already at the age of 2, some young dreamers, having difficulty pronouncing words, enthusiastically write about non-existent animals that come at night. About monsters living under the bed, about unknown creatures peering into the door of a children's room when parents turn off the lights.

Psychology of babies aged 2-4 years. At this age, little dreamers do not understand what lies are. Young dreamers pass off what they want as the present. Young children have a very developed imagination and they do not understand the difference between made-up stories and the truth. Are you familiar with the following situations?

The kid drags his favorite toy with him from kindergarten, saying that he was allowed to take it. The reason for lying is the desire to take possession of a thing. It is so strong that the child believes that the teacher really allowed him to take away someone else’s property.

Or when the parents ask what the blue spot is on the arm, the baby says that his older sister/brother hit him. Grandma cries, mom gets upset, dad swears. But in fact it turns out that this is a mark of a felt-tip pen. Should parents swear?

Note to adults. At this age, when the baby is fantasizing, there is no point in punishing for lies. The child is not yet able to understand why it is important to be truthful. In an educational conversation, attention cannot be focused on the fact that the child does not obey and deceives, disobeying adults. Otherwise, as the child grows up, he will lie all the time, hiding his wrongdoings.

Parents need to explain, to convey to the child’s consciousness that there is a difference in the world between “you can” and “you want to.” With effort, adults will help the child understand how reality differs from fiction, and will wean the child from lying, offending others and taking someone else’s property without asking.

Psychology of a child at 5, 6 and 7 years old. Children grow up, get smarter and become cunning. A child of older kindergarten age already understands that by deceiving, they are avoiding punishment or solving a problem. This is how stories are born about a brand new car allegedly being taken away by the older guys (at this time it is quietly lying under the bed, with the wheels broken off).

The main reason why children of this age lie is the fear of punishment, screaming, or parental dissatisfaction.

When a child is loudly scolded for spoiling something, shouted at menacingly, or deprived of pleasant things as punishment, the child subsequently develops a comfortable position of behavior. This is how the habit of lying is born.

At preschool age, children’s deception begins to look like the truth; children learn to defend themselves in such inept ways. Now children are already testing adults, checking how deception works and whether it works.

What should poor adults do? Act decisively, but not threateningly (leave scandals and shouting for market proceedings). At this age, the child should firmly stop attempts to lie. If you let the situation take its course, the baby will strengthen this behavior and it will become difficult to wean him from lying in the future.

Know that a child at this age diligently copies his parents and imitates them. The best educational measure will be the honesty of parents with everyone and always (especially when it comes to relationships with a child).

Explain to your child that a lie, even a tiny one, brings disaster. Talk to your child, giving examples from your own life. If you want to punish, punish in such a way that the child understands why he is being punished, explain it to him.

Behavior of a child of primary school age

Older children's lies become convincing - children's vocabulary expands and their horizons develop. They grow and become more aware of what other people feel and think. At this age, lies become more sophisticated and inventive.

By the age of 8 or 9, children are able to lie so truthfully that not every adult will understand that it is a lie. The older the child, the more acutely the problem of children's lies confronts parents. Why do primary school children lie? The reasons are as follows:

Fear of disappointing mom and dad. For a growing child, it is important to meet the expectations of their parents. If a child begins to have problems with grades at school, he, in fear of the reaction of adults, finds no other way out and begins to cheat.

Excessive pressure (when parents focus on the child’s grades and successes) gives rise to lies.

Competition. The modern world is fed up with unhealthy competition. Looking at their parents, children strive to become the first in everything. The desire to become stronger and luckier gives rise to lies. Observe the behavior of children in games that require a winner. Some gambling addicts strive to win at any cost - they make an extra move, “make mistakes” in counting points.

At the age of 10, a child already understands what deception is. But at this frivolous age, young daredevils do not think about their own lies. Psychologists attribute the following situations to the reasons that push school-age children to lies:

• Fear of punishment. When parents go to a parent-teacher conference (where they have a bad conversation with the teacher), a “terminally ill” child may be waiting for them when they arrive home. Defiantly complaining that his stomach and head hurt, the mischievous schoolboy avoids punishment.
• The desire to attract attention. This is what children with a wild imagination, impressionable, sensitive and insecure do. Then fiction appears about an all-powerful older brother, a father who works in the secret service. These lies are like dreams. And by dreaming, the psyche develops normally. Parents should pay more attention to their children and have heart-to-heart conversations with them more often.
• Avoid stress. If there are problems in the family and constant conflicts between parents, the little person does everything to avoid another scandal, where he himself will become the central figure. In this case, the child uses lies to avoid a traumatic situation.
• Imitation of adults. In a family where lies are cultivated (when the mother, not wanting to see anyone visiting, pretends to be sick or the father, skipping work, composes fables), it is not surprising that the child also lies. Parents can expect amazing fictional stories about why their child doesn’t do his homework or doesn’t want to study.

If, even after the parents’ hard work, a teenager continues to lie chronically after 11 or 12 years, this indicates internal problems. In this case, an experienced child psychologist will help.

Why does a teenager lie?

Puberty is the most difficult time in the development of a young person. Deep changes are taking place in consciousness, and a comprehensive formation of personality is underway. There are many problems associated with adolescence, one of which is the child’s rampant lying.

In most cases, a teenager’s deceit lies in an incorrect approach to education and already ingrained habits dating back to childhood. But the problem lies elsewhere:

Parental authoritarianism. Some children during their wild adolescence treat their parents with respect and reverence. Knowing perfectly well the character of their relatives, trying not to upset loved ones, teenagers begin to lie.

There is an embellishment of facts, omissions or suppression of events. Growing children protect their parents from worries in this way.

Fear of failure. If, not wanting to upset their relatives, teenagers lie only to them, then, fearing a fiasco, they lie to everyone around them. In this case, the lie acts as a defensive reaction. Fear of possible ridicule or fear of publicity pushes people to lie.

Such teenagers, afraid to speak in front of a crowded class, lie to teachers that they haven’t learned their lesson. They lie to parents about imaginary school successes. Untruth becomes a constant companion. The teenager lies at every turn. If such habits are left unattended, then the lies will continue into adulthood, and children will grow up into unhappy, downtrodden individuals.

Depression. Depressive disorders are a constant companion of the younger generation. Such states of mind often become the culprits of lies. A teenager, considering his own life boring, empty and monotonous, makes up stories.

In his fictional events, the schoolboy becomes a hero, and life is filled with interesting facts and adventures. A teenager lies, wanting to make friends with peers, raising personal self-esteem in the eyes of others.

Non-recognition of parental authority. The hobbies of young “adults” sometimes terrify their parents - goth, anime, hard rock, esotericism. Relatives are scandalized when they see that their beloved and once obedient child suddenly dyes his hair, has a strange haircut, gets piercings and tattoos.

Rejection of a teenager’s adult hobbies alienates the young person from his family. Not wanting swearing or rude interference in personal space, the teenager ignores requests, lies, hiding hobbies.

Parents, grandparents! Remember yourself in your youth! Passion for rock and roll, heavy metal, situations where people beat you up for bell-bottom pants or punk hairstyles. Do not pester the teenager with useless moralizing during this period, do not prohibit your favorite hobby.

Try to delve into the world of his hobbies and understand. After 4-5 years, addictions will change, anime cartoons and ear tunnels will fade into oblivion, leaving only funny memories.

Shyness. Some teenagers are vulnerable and try to avoid uncomfortable conversations about sex and love. Not wanting to take the slippery slope of such conversations, teenagers lie, not allowing an adult into their inner world. Such situations happen due to the fault of the parents themselves, who have not established trusting relationships with their offspring.

Consultation for parents “Does your child lie often?”

Consultation for parents on the topic

“Does a child lie often?”

What children don’t invent! Simply amazing! Sometimes our children tell the most incredible stories that could compete with the works of famous storytellers. But can fables invented by a child be called lies? Hardly. And who among us in childhood was not a worthy successor to the work of Baron Munchausen? Each of us has experienced extraordinary adventures in our imagination, made journeys full of dangers and wonders and found countless treasures. What is a child’s lie: a method of self-defense, an attempt to correlate reality with one’s desires, or an uninhibited flight of fantasy?

We are accustomed to contrast lies with truth and condemn the liar who invites us to believe fiction. However, for a child, the boundaries between truth and lies are not so clear. A child who lies believes in his own fiction as much as he realizes that he is telling a lie. Sometimes small children “varnish” reality with the help of lies, using the power of fantasy to make up for what they lack in reality. This way, a child can have a friend invisible to adults who accompanies him everywhere. Little Mitya returned home today, carefully holding something in his hand. “Mommy, I brought a tiger cub, he will live with us,” he shows his empty hand. “Do you like my little tiger? Look, he’s still very small.” Now at lunch the boy sits on the edge of the chair to leave room for his friend, asks to put a plate for him and put food on him. And having gotten into trouble, he justifies himself by saying that the tiger cub comes up with all these pranks.

A child easily goes beyond the boundaries of reality, creating a friend with whom he can play, with whom he can take care, and with whom he can share responsibility for actions that displease his parents. The space of fantasy is for a child a saving place where he can get what he urgently needs, something that is not available to him in ordinary life. Young children tend to think magically; the laws of reality are not obvious to them; they have yet to learn to separate the imaginary from reality. For now they are dreaming. For a child, fantasy is both a way of interacting with reality and, at times, an opportunity to protect himself from it. Even when kids deny the obvious, they do it sincerely and are just as sincerely ready to be offended if you don’t believe them. Four-year-old Anya has just broken a large vase in the living room. Alarmed by the roar, mom comes in, she has no doubt about who broke her favorite vase. However, Anya has her own version: “The elephant and I were playing hide and seek, and he was so clumsy, he climbed into the vase and crushed it.” At this moment, the girl is frightened both by the fact that she broke an object that is so dear to her mother and by the prospect of impending punishment.

Through lies, she “slips out” of a situation for which she is unable to accept responsibility. As children grow up, they begin to use lies more consciously, and they already feel awkward and ashamed when they deceive us. However, they do not stop telling all sorts of tall tales. Sometimes - to please us, sometimes - not wanting to upset us. If your child, returning from kindergarten, tells you that he beat a friend or spat at dinner, you will probably be unhappy. The child knows this very well. Therefore, it will be most natural to regale you with stories that are far from reality. He does not seek to deceive you, he just does not want to disappoint you, wanting to meet your expectations. If a child has already begun to lie, he will stand his ground and deny the obvious without the slightest hesitation. Especially if he is trying to avoid a reprimand or punishment. Favorite argument - it's not me! Which parent has not heard this phrase? It is useless to try to prove to the baby that it could not be anyone else - he will not give up. One mother complained that she caught her daughter cutting a veil for a doll from a tulle curtain. Upon closer examination of the curtains, it turned out that more than one doll was “married off.” However, the girl desperately denied her involvement in such wedding preparations. In some cases, the child resorts to lies to hide real facts that he is ashamed of or that are too painful for him. This could be some kind of trouble in the family: poverty, the absence of one of the parents, alcoholism. Yulia, a five-year-old girl from a large family, wears old clothes inherited from older children. In the garden she tells the children about the beautiful dresses she has at home. She explains to those who have doubts that her mother does not allow her to wear them to kindergarten. In such a case, lying is a way for a girl to gain recognition from children, attract attention, and become like her well-dressed friends.

Very often the purpose of lying is to interest other people in yourself. Sasha, six years old, is ready to tell everyone that his dad is a circus director, and he sometimes takes part in performances. His parents, far from the world of circus art, are perplexed why their son needed to transform reality so much. But Sasha knows very well that thanks to this lie, he now has no end to his friends who beg him to take them to the show. Through lies, a child often tries to tell us the truth about what worries him. Our task is to understand what prevents him from saying this differently. Often, a child’s experiences are so deep that they cannot be comprehended; he can only tell about them with the help of lies.

In fact, these fictions are not fictions at all, but a kind of myth with the help of which the child tries to cope with the situation and the negative feelings that it causes. Oleg, five years old, who recently had a little sister, was talking in the garden about how hard his life was. After all, he has to take care of his sister, rock her to sleep for a long time, get up at night, warm milk for her. The teacher tried to find out from the parents why they put the child in such difficult conditions. The parents were extremely surprised - this had never happened before! With the advent of his second child, the boy felt abandoned and experienced intense jealousy. Therefore, in order to attract the attention of his parents and teacher, he pretended to be a child burdened with overwhelming worries. In this case, the child identified with his sister and, imagining how he cared for her, tried to make up for what he lacked and made him envious. His parents managed to help him, assuring him that they loved him just as before and that he would always have a special place in the life of the family. By telling impossible stories and seeing the effect they have on others, children learn to distinguish fact from fiction. Often children lie because their knowledge of the surrounding reality is insufficient, fragmented, and they have to fill in the gaps with their own inventions.

As they grow older, the “blank spots” become fewer and fewer, and most children fantasize and “invent” less. We, parents, can help our child differentiate between dreams and reality. It is important not to overdo it and give the child the opportunity to create his own alternative reality in the game, in composing various fables and magical stories. It is necessary to show the child that there are situations where one should not resort to lies, and situations in which he can express himself remarkably thanks to his developed imagination. Try to understand why a child is sometimes unable to tell the truth, remember situations when we, adults, had to lie. All those “earthquakes and floods” that prevented us from getting to work on time. As a rule, many of us have sacrificed the truth more than once, justifying ourselves by trying to avoid trouble. Therefore, it is not surprising that your child sometimes follows this rule. What to do if: the child lies, mistaking his desires for reality.

Teach him to draw the line between imagination and reality. For example, if a kid tells you: “I am Superman, I kill all villains.” Correct him: “You would really like to be Superman and defeat all the villains.” This way you will be able to support him by showing that you understand and share his dreams. But at the same time, you will prevent the development of an illusory, unrealistic idea of ​​yourself and your capabilities. The kid lies to appear more interesting and significant in the eyes of others. This often happens due to a lack of self-confidence. He believes that he can earn the attention of others only by pretending to be someone he really is not, or by telling everyone about his imaginary exploits.

You should not blame your child for such inventions. Instead, help him realize that he can be interesting in his own right by showing him his strengths. “Do you think that your friends will be more willing to play with you if they find out that your dad is a circus director? But we are sure that they would really like it if you told about the secret language that you invented.” He lies to hide his wrongdoing from you. In this case, you should not put pressure on the child, convicting him of deception: “You were alone in the room when the vase broke. Don’t try to blame it on someone else.” Give the child the opportunity to confess and tell you the truth: “I doubt that the elephant could have hidden the fragments of the vase under the sofa. Are you sure you're telling me the truth?" If your child plucks up courage and confesses, be sure to praise him. It's so hard to decide! Ask your child to help you collect the fragments of the vase, explain that if he caused harm to someone, you need to try to fix it and apologize. Having taught the child to correct his mistakes,

You will teach him to feel responsible for his actions. And vice versa, by making excessive demands on the child, strictly controlling and punishing him, you will force the child to resort to lies again and again. The kid lies to get away from a situation that bothers him. Show your child that you understand what feelings and desires are hidden behind his lies. “We know that you want to wear beautiful dresses. We are very sorry, but at the moment we cannot buy them for you. As soon as the opportunity arises, we will buy you a new dress, but for now let’s try to remake the old one: we’ll sew a beautiful frill to the hem or make embroidery.” In this way, you will show your child that you understand the reason for his worries and are ready to do everything in your power to at least partially correct the situation. The child lies because he does not know how or does not dare to tell you the truth. The more absurd and incomprehensible what he tells you seems to you, the more likely it is that in this way you are being presented with a hidden truth. Try to avoid harsh judgments, such as: “Don’t fool me! You completely lied." This attitude can undermine the trust in you that is necessary for your child to openly share what is bothering him. Try to understand what the child is trying to tell you in this way, what is contained in his veiled messages? It will be better if, to find out, you do not resort to punishments and threats, but show the condescension and gentleness necessary to overcome the difficulties the child has encountered. If your child often resorts to lies, then it may be worth reconsidering your relationship. Try to understand what prevents him from telling you the truth. Remember that the child needs to feel loved, to know that you are ready to forgive his pranks and misdeeds. This way you will give him the opportunity to trust you and take responsibility for his actions.

How to tell if a child is lying

Are there ways to understand that your beloved child is lying? How to recognize lies coming from children of different ages?

Kids. Child psychologists have identified six signs that help determine that a little baby (3-7 years old is not telling the truth):

1. When talking, the child's usual facial expression changes. Unusual gestures are born (when lying, the baby scratches his head, pulls his hair, nose).
2. The baby unconsciously duplicates the adults’ sentences, pronouncing them with a questioning intonation. This buys him time to come up with an answer.
3. The timbre of the voice changes - words are drawn out, phrases are pronounced quietly and uncertainly.
4. Disobedient in character, the lively, fidgety child crumples and is shy. When talking, he lowers his head and looks from under his brows.
5. If the baby is calm, phlegmatic, and when telling tall tales, his usual behavior changes. The child is unnaturally chatty and talkative.
6. Little babies, telling a lie, cover their mouths with their hands, giggle, blush and try not to look at the adult.

How can you tell if a teenager is lying? The person telling a lie changes his facial expression. He is worried, hiding his hands in his pockets. Ignores questions, taking the conversation in a different direction, or asks counter questions that are not related to the topic of the conversation.

He coughs, shifts on his feet and strives to quickly end an unpleasant conversation. Uses the words “They”, “We” instead of the personal pronoun “I”. By this action, the teenager unconsciously distributes lies among others, abdicating responsibility.

There is an interesting test to determine the tendency to lie. The questionnaire was developed by psychologists David Crown and Douglas Marlow in the middle of the last century. Testing assesses a person’s desire to achieve approval in the eyes of others.

To properly evaluate the results, offer the test to the teenager when he is relaxed and ready to communicate.

How to do. Study the questions carefully and slowly. Write one statement for each: “Yes” or “No”:

1. Sometimes I like to gossip.
2. I envied the luck of my comrades.
3. I admit my own mistakes.
4. Didn't feel any antipathy towards anyone.
5. I am attentive to my own appearance.
6. I will remember and take revenge on the offender instead of forgiving.
7. When I see the troubles of others, I think it is deserved.
8. At home at lunch I behave the same way as in the school cafeteria.
9. If they come to me with a request, I feel irritated.
10. Before I give the book to the owner, I will read it completely.
11. If I am asked for a favor, I do not feel any internal protest.
12. I gave up on something I started when I realized I couldn’t complete it.
13. I don’t smile when I have to say unpleasant things to my comrades.
14. I come up with non-existent reasons to justify an action.
15. Before going somewhere, I carefully consider what I will take on the trip.
16. I always listen very carefully to my interlocutor and do not interrupt him.
17. I don't feel annoyed when I listen to opinions that are contrary to mine.
18. It happened that I used a friend’s mistake to gain benefit.
19. There were times when I stubbornly insisted that everyone do it the way I decided.
20. I never hesitate if someone needs my help.

If your teen has difficulty answering, ask him to imagine a similar situation and evaluate how he would behave. View the finished test and award a point for:

• “Yes” for questions: 3, 5, 8, 10, 11, 13, 15, 16, 17, 20.
• “No” for points: 1, 2, 4, 6, 7, 9, 12, 14, 18, 19.

Add the resulting points together. The final score is the “motivation for approval” index. Explanation:

0-6 points. Motivation is low. This person does not need his comrades to approve of his actions. Such independence seems to ignore the opinions of friends and adults. A teenager with low motivation does not try to look better than he is. There is a risk of loneliness, withdrawal and creating your own illusory world. Such a person does not feel the need for social contacts.

7-13 points. Average motivation. This is the “golden mean”. The teenager’s behavior is adequate - he strives to appear in the eyes of other people as he is. This behavior gives independence and the necessary independence from the opinions of others. Develop in the same way, but occasionally (at least 1-2 times out of 5-6) listen to the assessment of your actions.

14-20 points. High motivation. There is a high probability that the person answering is insincere. Or he is trying to appear as an ideal person. This occurs with protest behavior of teenagers - not understanding conversations, demonstrative behavior.

How to deal with this?

Every adequate parent dreams of raising an honest, sincere person who is capable of settling into the world of adults. Any father or mother realizes that a lie from a child’s lips brings him harm, not benefit. How to explain this to a child?

Consultation for parents

It’s easy to check and understand that a child is lying. How to behave in this case? Suppress the righteous indignation that arises when a child lies. How to stop lying? You cannot punish a child! Even if a teenager steals money.

Violent actions will lead to the opposite effect - the child will decide that in the future it is better to lie and do it more convincingly, so as not to incur punishment. In this case, no amount of talking helps.

If adults are allowed to reduce an unpleasant conversation to a joke when a child under 7 years of age tells a lie, then an older child’s lie should be responded to immediately, otherwise the teenager’s lies will become pathological, and he will begin to lie constantly.

Get ready to listen to the bitter truth from your offspring (if you want to raise him as a sincere person). The best parenting attitude is honesty and listening. Remember and apply the following rules when faced with children's lies:

1. Explain to your teen that their lies are noticeable.
2. Restrain the expression of negative emotions!
3. Let your child understand that a loss is not a defeat. It is more honorable to lose in fair battles than to win by dishonesty.
4. Relax your requirements for your teenager. Instill the conviction that his family always loves and cares for him, no matter what the circumstances.
5. Tell your child that a lie upsets you much more than unlearned lessons, a bad grade, or a teacher’s remark.
6. Teach your teenager to cope with difficulties. Do this by example, telling stories about your life, about events with other people.

Talk to your teenager as equals! Don't raise your voice or use a bossy, authoritarian tone. Reduce conversations to the fact that any lie greatly harms relationships and trust is lost.

When others do not trust a person, the individual’s self-esteem drops sharply, life is filled with emptiness and loneliness. You have to spend too much effort so that the assessments of others and their respect return to their previous level.

What to do if a child cheated

Depending on the situation and each specific case, you need to understand the reasons.

Eliminating fear in a child

Parents must analyze whether they are abusing their position as leaders. Perhaps it’s time to give up physical punishment (even more so) and stop “putting pressure” on the child’s psyche at every slightest reason.

Change your methods of influence, try to be softer, show love, not violence, even in the most difficult situations. Build trust and avoid deception.

If a child of any age ceases to be afraid of cruel punishment, then there will be no need to deceive. He will immediately tell the truth, because he will feel that he will be understood and listened to.

Take time

Do not forget that the primary duty of mom and dad is to raise the child. And then everything else. Try to devote at least an hour a day to a heart-to-heart conversation, share your impressions of your day, go for a walk in the park in the evening, read a book together, or just listen to music.

In fact, children need very little: love and attention. Then there is no need for deception. Come up with family traditions: for example, once a week to go to an exhibition, to the cinema, to nature. Your son or daughter will help you create a cultural program with great pleasure.

If you live in a small town or village, then arrange evening tea parties, read books aloud, do handicrafts with girls, and sports with boys. The main thing is to communicate, talk, discuss, and enjoy each other.

Changing ourselves

Track your behavior. If you like to lie, then give up lying. Show your children lessons about how to treat people and the world around them truthfully. It may not be possible to achieve a result right away, but it will definitely happen: children take the example of mom and dad to build a future life in society - this is how the psyche works.

Important: when adults lie in front of a child, he sincerely does not understand why he should tell the truth.

It's okay to make mistakes

Explain that it is quite natural to make mistakes; you should not reproach yourself for failures, because there is no ideal person on earth. It is important that the child understands: a mistake is gaining experience, a necessary component of development and improvement in life.

Another question is that you should not be afraid to admit shortcomings and learn to calmly accept justified criticism and arguments. This is no less important, because you will have to correct the mistake and continue to try to avoid it in the future.

Tell us about your mistakes in childhood and adolescence, how difficult it was to tell the truth to adults and admit failure. Share your experience on how to learn to explain the reasons for failures to mom and dad using your own example. Children should not see their parents as an inaccessible rock without flaws.

Love without conditions

This is at the forefront of all relationships between parents and children. The latter should know that despite their wrong behavior, they will not stop being loved. Encourage the truth with the words: “You’re great for confessing. You will have to face the consequences of failure, but I believe you will overcome it.”

Children like to be themselves and not disappoint their beloved mom and dad. If you find a middle ground in relationships and stop reshaping the child’s inner world to suit your worldview, then you can expect positive results. There is no need for deception, especially regular deception, since the natural psychological state is not disturbed.

Check your child's environment

In adolescence, there is a possibility that a son or daughter accidentally ends up in the company of children from dysfunctional families, where deception and even theft are the norms of behavior. It is the duty of parents to identify negative influences in a timely manner, have a conversation and make every effort to change the child’s opinion about new friends.

It is impossible to prohibit, this will only cause a spirit of contradiction and a desire to do things out of spite. It is important to logically explain the destructiveness of communication with liars and thieves and the sad consequences. As soon as the teenager understands your sincere desire to suggest the right decision, he will meet you halfway and draw the right conclusions.

Additionally, contact teachers at school. Don't stand on the sidelines. Adolescence is a difficult period morally for children and parents alike; it is important to live it with dignity and without consequences.