A 3-month-old baby cries before bed: several serious reasons for concern

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Lyudmila Sergeevna Sokolova Pediatrician of the highest category

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Article last updated: 03/31/2019

When a child is born, parents want to believe that their child will eat well, sleep well, develop quickly, and have little pain. Unfortunately, the reality is far from ideal. A parent’s heart breaks when a mom or dad hears their child’s heartbreaking cry. I immediately want to turn to the classics. Who is guilty? So what should I do? Why does the baby break?

Psychological reasons for crying before bed

Surprisingly, newborns cry close to sleep for a variety of reasons. Moreover, before the age of one year, most babies may cry not only before sleep, but also after it. After all, every day during the first few months of life turns into severe stress for them.

If a child cries before going to bed, the reasons may be:

Excessive nervous tension

In most cases, infants cannot independently cope with the colossal load that affects the nervous system throughout the day. For this reason, the baby begins to cry hysterically about one to two hours before bedtime, so much so that it is almost impossible to calm him down.

In such a situation, parents should not panic, since such behavior of the baby is the norm. Screaming helps release unused energy; with the help of crying, nervous tension is relieved and neutralized.

Increased nervous excitability

Often, parents, exhausted by the prolonged evening tearful hysterics of their infants, seek advice from a neurologist, and eventually hear a diagnosis that sounds like “increased nervous excitability.”

Do not be alarmed; when examining children under three years of age, this diagnosis is made in seventy percent of cases. Increased excitability prevents the child from sleeping until he has cried out all his energy. Then the baby calmly and serenely falls asleep.

In this case, there is again no reason to worry. For a child, crying is an excellent opportunity to calm down.

Non-compliance with the daily routine

In most cases, this reason is associated with trouble falling asleep. Most parents make a serious mistake when they allow their child to go to bed whenever he sees fit.

According to modern pediatricians, it is important to have a strict daily routine, which the child will associate with calm and stability.

Worried that his mother will leave him while he sleeps

A large number of babies are also very worried about separation from their mother, who is the most important person for them in infancy.

Nightmares and fear of the dark

Fear is also a common cause of restless behavior in a child before bed. A child may be afraid of the darkness in which he does not see his mother or does not feel her presence. Sometimes children may also have scary dreams, after which they wake up crying loudly. The best solution to this problem would be to sleep together with your mother.

Crying before bed in a baby

At an early age, a baby's sleep is extremely important for his overall health, and especially for the full maturation of the nervous system. Night and day rest is one of the most complete methods of restoring strength that was actively used up during the previous period of wakefulness. A young child actively grows during sleep, his immune system is formed, matures and strengthens, his nervous and endocrine systems are improved, and the brain actively assimilates and digests received data from the surrounding world.

Important

It is important to know that the number of dreams and their quality characteristics significantly influence the child’s behavior during the waking period.

If a baby at such a young age systematically lacks sleep, this will have an extremely negative impact on his daytime behavior and activity, well-being and mood. He will be less able to assimilate the volumes of information that come to him, he will have trouble latching on to the breast or sucking a bottle, he may actively demonstrate his negative mood, he may cry and scream, and be capricious. Often, frequent whims during the daytime can indicate that the baby is not sleeping well and is not getting enough sleep. Therefore, it is extremely important to strictly observe the sleep and wakefulness regime from the first days of life, and this is necessary for absolutely the whole family. It is worth performing the same sleepy rituals every day, putting the baby to bed so that he gets used to the regime. Constantly maintaining a consistent daily routine helps the child develop better. If there are problems with the routine, discomfort or fatigue, imbalance of the nervous system, this threatens crying before bed and difficulty falling asleep.
We recommend reading: Sleep of a newborn baby and a child of the first year of life: sleep and wakefulness

Physiological reasons for crying before falling asleep

No less rarely does a small child cry before going to bed due to the characteristics of his physiological state:

Teething

Often the appearance of the first teeth is accompanied by sleep disorders and increased anxiety. Swelling of the gums, pain, and itching make the baby irritable and cause significant discomfort.

To help the child, you should lubricate his gums with a special gel with an anesthetic effect and give him a soft teether.

Intestinal colic

In 90% of cases, the first three months of life of infants are tormented by colic, which is manifested by strong pressing of the knees to the stomach and loud crying. To calm the baby in this case, you need to apply a warm diaper to his tummy or place the baby with his stomach on his mother’s bare stomach.

If a warm compress does not help, the baby should be offered Plantex or tea that includes fennel. However, situations can be quite complex. In this case, parents, after consulting with a pediatrician, can use medications.

Baby crying: is it normal?

Crying is a universal means for a baby to communicate with the outside world, and especially to send signals to parents and surrounding adults about the baby’s problems. There can be many reasons for a child’s dissatisfaction, and it all depends on the specific situation. It is important to understand that you cannot ignore a child’s crying, following harmful advice that you need to let him cry out and calm down, associating it with spoilage and the habit of being held. You should not think that periods of crying can pass on their own; the child will outgrow them. The baby signals for help in this way, and if you do not pay attention to such signals, in the future this will lead to serious sleep disorders and problems of emotions and psyche.

Important

By its nature, a child’s crying is a kind of universal mechanism given by nature due to the fact that the child cannot speak, but at the same time it is important for him to convey to adults certain information about his ill health, discomfort or serious emotional problems.

Screaming and crying in children is formed due to various types of inconvenience, and these are not always problems of physical well-being. Crying can often be caused by external stimuli and problems with emotions that are beyond the control of a baby due to the immaturity of the nervous system, and fear or protest against other people’s touches and contacts, fear that the mother is not around, can also be expressed in a similar way.

How to help a restless baby fall asleep?

Parents should understand that the crying of a healthy newborn is an absolutely understandable and natural phenomenon.

Satisfying physiological needs

First, it is necessary to correctly establish the cause of the baby’s anxiety, why exactly he cries shortly before bedtime, excluding such physiological circumstances as:

dirty diaper,
uncomfortable position
cold,
tight clothes,
hunger.

If mom and dad have fixed all this, but the baby is still crying, you need to check his gums for swelling. Maybe he is cutting his first teeth. In this case, it is enough to treat the gums with a special gel.

Rule out the disease

In addition, in this case, parents should tell the local therapist observing the baby about the child’s anxiety and crying. In some cases, the attending physician may refer the child for examination to a neurologist or other specialist.

Increased excitability and persistent daytime and nighttime sleep disturbances can cause serious illnesses. This problem must be solved urgently, since without sound, normal sleep, the proper functioning and development of a child’s body is impossible.

Psychological balance of parents

A new mother should know that her connection with the baby is strong enough, so her emotions and mood should be positive, positive. Before going to bed, she should be as calm as possible, then the baby will be able to sleep soundly.

If parents are nervous about the baby's crying, he will become even more capricious and will not be able to calm down.

Bathing with herbs

A young mother whose baby is anxious when falling asleep should make it a rule to bathe her child in the evening in a warm bath with the addition of a decoction from a set of soothing herbs. A special infusion used for bathing will help the nervous system relax and also prepare it for sleep.

The same sequence of actions before bed should be followed every day.

Taking sedatives

If we talk about drug therapy, you can use valerian infusion. Every evening you can add a drop of valerian to your baby's milk or water. However, the result may not be quick, since this method has a cumulative effect.

After a month-long course of treatment, the baby will become calmer. But we note that before using valerian drops, you should definitely consult with your pediatrician.

The nature of crying: how to recognize the signals

Based on the characteristics of a child’s crying, it is quite possible to draw certain conclusions about the child’s health and well-being.

note

If the newborn is weak or sick, he will cry quietly and pitifully, whining and moaning. If the screams are demanding and loud and attract attention, this indicates sufficient nutrition and a satisfactory state of health.

When crying in the form of a physical need, if the baby is suddenly cold or he wants to eat, the crying will stop after his need is satisfied - he was put to the chest or given a bottle, given a drink, wrapped warmly, etc.

If the reasons for crying are emotional overexcitement, problems with the nervous system or other factors, then the baby will calm down only after the excess tension has been released, the screaming or crying will be relatively long, in different tones and sounds, with active swinging of the legs and arms. This will be a way to relieve stress.

Peculiarities of children's sleep: why can a baby cry for no reason?

Infant sleep has its own characteristics. Daytime and night sleep are characterized by alternating periods of sound, deep sleep and shallow sleep. In infancy, the stages of light sleep, which repeat every hour, are longer than in adults.

While in this phase, the baby can wake up from the slightest sound, after which it will be very difficult to lull him to sleep, for this reason newborns very rarely sleep more than four hours at a time.

In some cases, the baby may sleep during the day, waking up every 30 to 40 minutes. This circumstance cannot be considered the norm, however, it cannot be classified as a disease, provided that sleep at night is not interrupted with the same frequency.

In such cases, anxiety is most often explained by the need for maternal affection and warmth. Some parents argue that there is no need to hold a newborn too often. This is fundamentally wrong. Every mother should realize that a lack of parental attention will have an alarming effect on the baby’s body.

Often mothers who show more care and tenderness to their child take him in their arms and notice that the baby’s day and night sleep becomes measured and the baby stops crying for no reason when he falls asleep.

When a child turns one year old, he begins to sleep twice a day for one and a half to two hours, while night sleep lasts up to ten to twelve hours. By this age, the baby’s biological clock should be fully adjusted.

On average, a one-year-old child sleeps about 13–14 hours a day, 2.5–3 hours of which are naps during the day.

By the age of two, the biological need for daytime sleep will decrease. Therefore, a child may protest against sleep by crying loudly. However, the baby still needs to be calmed down, allowed to cry and put to sleep. Over time, the child will get used to the routine and will fall asleep calmly and without crying.

Causes of crying: physical factors

If a child does not fall asleep for a long time and cries constantly or periodically, you should not immediately panic and think that something has happened to him. Parents need to pull themselves together, without showing irritation and hysterics, and identify the true causes of the child’s anxiety. Most often, such reasons are objective physical factors.

Child's hunger. Often, children may refuse to sleep due to the fact that they are hungry, not full of mother's milk (if they are rarely breastfed, they are limited in their stay at the breast), incorrectly calculate the volume of formula for feeding, introduce complementary foods late, incorrectly calculate the amount of food for each meal (if these are children older than six months). Often, such crying of children and poor sleep may in the early period in infants indicate the manifestation of problems with lactation. Then you need to make every effort to increase the volume of milk, put the baby to the breast more often. Often, such problems arise during the period of so-called growth spurts (previously they were mistakenly called lactation crises), and then it is important not to switch to formula, but to stimulate the release of a larger volume of milk. Lactation consultants, a pediatrician, or more experienced mothers can help. For children born artificially, you can try changing the formula.

note

Hunger cries usually start as a whimper that progresses to increasingly loud and demanding screaming and crying. In this case, searching behavior with shaking the head in search of the breast, smacking lips or sucking the edge of the diaper will be noted.

Wet clothes, filled diaper. Often children experience severe discomfort from wet clothes and skin irritation, filling the diaper and skin contact with its contents. In this case, they groan and cry, loudly and demandingly, kicking their legs and arms, jerking their whole body. After changing the diaper, washing and changing clothes, the problem usually goes away.

Crying due to discomfort and pain. Often, when pain or unpleasant, uncomfortable sensations occur in the body, children cry pitifully and painfully. Often, such screams and sleep problems are accompanied by teething, and even if the teeth have not yet appeared, there is itching and unpleasant pressure in the gum area, tension, which can intensify in the evening due to fatigue. This can lead to irritation and crying of the child. Special teethers, gum massage, or the use of painkillers and soothing gels can help.

The influence of external factors that objectively interfere with sleep. Often children may cry if they are tired and want to sleep, but cannot fall asleep due to the influence of various external factors on them, which can be either on the street or in an apartment or nursery. These may include loud noises from operating equipment, passing cars or repairs from neighbors, bright light from a window or lighting fixtures, as well as too cold or, conversely, hot air in the house. It is important to eliminate irritating factors as much as possible, especially temperature and those located in the apartment. The fact that a child is too hot can be indicated by his sweating and redness of the face, increased body temperature and screams; in a room that is too hot and poorly ventilated, he may not sleep well, and the presence of dust and bad odor, infrequent cleaning can also provoke irritation of the mucous membranes and even allergic reactions. Crying can occur due to the discomfort of the position and being in it for a long time, if the baby does not yet know how to toss and turn. Chafing or tight, uncomfortable clothing can cause no less disturbance if folds, clasps or seams are pressing.

Attention

When a child falls asleep, there should be no sharp or loud sounds, but you should not accustom him to absolute silence either. It is important that the baby can fall asleep to the sounds of monotonously working ordinary household appliances and the quiet voices of family in other rooms. This will help all other family members sleep better and lead their normal lives during the dream period, without leading to the immediate awakening of the baby.

Special cause: colic

From about three weeks to the fourth month of life, crying can be caused by special problems in babies - intestinal colic . This is a functional problem associated with dysregulation of intestinal tone and motility. Colic manifests itself in the form of painful spasms and bloating of the tummy, which makes itself felt by screams and high-pitched cries, pressing the legs to the tummy and calming down after passing gas or stool.

note

Typically, the peak of intestinal colic occurs in the evening, from about 5 to 8 p.m., and many parents mark this period as the “hour of crying,” during which the baby is inconsolable, screams almost continuously at high notes, somewhat weakening the screams as it decreases. spasm. Often the screams last in a row for up to an hour or two, while the fists are clenched, the legs are brought to the tummy, the face turns red.

As the spasm passes and the child gets tired, he usually falls asleep and sleeps for quite a long time, but not all parents are able to endure such cries without any assistance, so there are several tips for relieving colic. They are not universal, and you often have to try several of them to find those that are most effective for your baby.

The most popular and effective, according to parents, are:

Carrying your naked baby tummy to your warm belly for warmth and comfort
Applying a warm diaper or heating pad wrapped in a diaper on the tummy
Massage the tummy with your fingers, in a circular motion, stroking the tummy in a clockwise direction
Using a warm hairdryer with a jet directed at the baby’s tummy (it is only important to choose a mode so that it does not burn), the monotonous buzzing also soothes.
In the absence of stool and bloating due to colic, in extreme cases, a gas outlet tube or a rubber bulb with a soft tip and a cut off bottom can help. After the gas passes, it usually becomes easier.

Often, to eliminate colic or reduce its activity, various folk recipes and medications are used, both for the nursing mother and for the child himself. Their effectiveness is also controversial; for some they help a lot, but for others there is no effect at all. So, for nursing mothers, teas with fennel are offered, and for children - a decoction of dill seeds (dill water), as well as plant-based or synthetic-based drops, they reduce intestinal excitability, have a calming effect and collapse gas bubbles. But often such drugs give a temporary effect or create an allergy, so they need to be selected individually.

note

Sometimes other health problems may be mistaken for the manifestation of colic, which need to be treated more carefully. This may result in mixture intolerance, allergies, intestinal microbial imbalance, and even intestinal infection. This is especially likely when “colic” occurs older than three months, and the physiological maturation of the intestine is almost complete.

Therefore, in such questions and determining the cause of tummy problems, the best consultant will be a pediatrician who, after a careful examination and conversation, will determine the causes of discomfort and crying and suggest ways to combat them.
We recommend reading: Prevention of colic in newborns

Vitamin deficiency: rickets

Often the cause of increased excitability and problems with the nervous system, poor sleep and crying is a deficiency of vitamins in a child, especially vitamin D, due to which the metabolism of calcium and phosphorus suffers, leading to the formation of rickets. It is especially likely in children born from autumn to spring, living in regions with a lack of solar activity and rarely spending time in the open air and sun. They need additional vitamin supplementation during the first two years, especially during periods when there is little natural sunlight.

Important

Vitamin D deficiency is replenished only as prescribed by a doctor and in a strictly defined dosage; self-medication is prohibited; an overdose of this drug is also dangerous.

The initial manifestations of rickets can be quite nonspecific symptoms - increased timidity of the baby, wiping and rolling the hairs on the back of the head, anxiety and crying, interrupted sleep, sweating. Typically, such first manifestations occur at the age of 2-3 months, gradually increasing without appropriate correction.

Emotional problems: baby crying

Often there are no health problems or defects in caring for the child, but he still cries before bed and may have trouble falling asleep. The reasons for this may be the immaturity of the nervous system and its overload.

So, often babies may cry in the evening due to accumulated fatigue and excitement (by analogy with adults, who may also be familiar with a similar problem). In this regard, it is recommended not to overload young children with emotions, not only negative, but also positive. The nervous system is not yet able to adequately “digest” all of them. Before going to bed, you should give up noisy games and activities; you need quiet activities, reading books, drawing and a calm environment around. Rituals that induce calm and sleep are important. Walking in the fresh air or sitting in a stroller on the balcony often have a good calming effect.

Crying before bed is an outlet for energy due to excess fatigue (overtiredness). The younger the child, the more new information about the world around him he receives every day; he has new impressions and events every day. It can be especially difficult when there are mass arrivals of guests or relatives; the subsequent nights after such visits can become restless - children often cannot sleep for a long time or wake up in the middle of the night crying. Due to this behavior, excess tension goes away and calmness sets in. It is worth taking these cries adequately, calming the child and holding him close, stroking the back, speaking in a soft monotonous voice or humming.

note

At the initial stage of screaming, this may seem ineffective, but over time you will develop unique rituals that quickly and effectively extinguish such crying. The child will immediately “automatically” turn on the calming program when repeating the same events.

Neurological diagnoses or characteristics of children?

Up to 70% of young children (up to about three years old) are diagnosed by neurologists with increased excitability, and there is nothing dangerous or scary in such a conclusion. Children with similar characteristics of the nervous system often cannot fall asleep without “yelling out” all the energy accumulated during the day, throwing out the excess in crying. They have shallow and very sensitive sleep, which can often be interrupted by bouts of crying. Sedative herbs and herbs and a strict daily routine often help.

Often, crying in babies becomes a form of protest due to separation from their mother and attempts to put the baby in their bed. If the issue of moving the baby to its own separate place is finally resolved for parents, they will have to show a certain persistence in this matter, adequately responding to protests, but not succumbing to manipulation. If sleeping together is not taboo for the family, you can organize it, then it will be easier for the child to fall asleep, feeling his mother nearby, inhaling the smells of her body and hearing her breathing and heartbeat. In this case, your sleep will be calmer and stronger. But then there will still come a stage when you will need to move to a separate bed and you will need to survive it.

note

In any case, it is important to understand that crying before bed is a signal from the child dedicated to the parents; they should pay attention to the baby’s problems, identify all the factors that bother him, and eliminate them.

Alena Paretskaya, pediatrician, medical columnist

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How to adjust a child's biological clock?

For approximately the first six weeks of his life, the baby will get used to the changes in the external world that have overtaken him. When the baby gets used to it a little, parents can teach him to sleep during the day and at night.

The most effective method of adjusting the functioning of the biological clock is considered to be teaching the baby to a routine. If your baby falls asleep crying before naptime, he should be distracted from vigorous play.

To do this, you can collect toys with your baby and make the bed together. Modern pediatricians do not recommend feeding or rocking the baby shortly before bedtime, so as not to develop the corresponding habit. It is best to lie down next to the child and hug him.

The room where the child will sleep should not evoke negative emotions in him. Even if a child is afraid of the dark, you should not leave the light on at night. So that your baby can distinguish between daytime and nighttime, you can turn on the night light at night.

Also, a “toy protector” will help against crying, which can be a soft children’s blanket or a teddy bear. The first night, mom can put the toy to sleep next to her so that the material can absorb its smell.

Babies are endowed with a delicate sense of smell, so such a “talisman” can calm them down before a night or daytime sleep. A child can fall asleep crying at any age, but from four to five months the child can be allowed to cry.

Before going to bed at night, at the same time, you should bathe your child, feed him, read him calm stories or sing lullabies. The child must be clearly aware that night has come and he will have to sleep in the next 10–12 hours.

If a child wakes up at night, the mother should not talk to him. Only in this way will the baby understand that night is not the time for games or conversations.