How to teach a child to eat with a spoon on his own, and at what age should parents instill this skill in their child? Usually, by the age of six months, many children begin to master primary skills: sitting, crawling, gnawing, feeling and tasting everything that comes to hand. A child’s interest in a spoon appears from the very time when his mother first lets him try porridge.
Around this time, parents start thinking about when they can start teaching their baby to eat on his own and whether or not at this age it is worth giving him a spoon and teaching him to drink from a mug. But what is the optimal age for training? How to teach a baby to eat with a spoon without whims is a question that requires careful consideration.
Common reasons for refusing food
Colic in babies
Poor appetite does not always indicate a manifestation of character; measures can only be taken by understanding the reasons for refusing food.
The most difficult thing to determine is what causes dissatisfaction in infants.
Even with a good appetite, a child’s mood quickly deteriorates and interest in food disappears if it is too hot or too salty. Let's not discount the active intestinal motility that breast milk triggers, which causes colic, sleep disturbance, and inflamed gums during teething can also be the cause. Breast milk and formula can cause a baby to refuse with a stuffy nose; it is simply uncomfortable for him to suckle in such conditions, which makes him cry.
Disease
The development of an acute infectious disease is the main cause of loss of appetite in children of all ages.
It is quite understandable why he refuses to eat. It is easier for the body to eliminate the symptoms of the disease without being distracted by the digestion of food, which additionally causes discomfort when swallowing or chewing. There is no point in persuading a child to eat soup, light porridge or chicken broth, much less worry that the sick child will become completely weak from hunger.
As soon as the child’s body defeats the infection, it itself will require a means to restore strength.
New environment
The socialization of a child requires providing him with communication with peers, but the other side of the development of communication skills is often imitation in refusing to eat, which often happens in the garden, or the emergence of strong beliefs about the need to follow a diet to correct their figure, which in most cases occurs in girls aged 7 years.
Eats without appetite
A healthy child also eats poorly because he has not yet worked up an appetite, for example, in the case of a slow metabolism due to low physical activity.
There is no need to force you to finish eating everything on your plate, this will make the situation worse.
Calmness is the key to success
When teaching your baby to eat independently, the most important thing is to remain calm. Many parents become nervous when their baby smears food all over himself. At the same time, they begin to swear, which immediately discourages the child from wanting to eat on his own. It is not right. You need to remain calm and let the child eat on his own the way he can. Over time, he will get better at it, because he will begin to do all the actions more often.
Try to translate everything into a game form. Let your child feed his favorite toy and then himself. In the game you can teach your baby to use a napkin and learn how to wipe his mouth. Try to observe everything that is happening from the outside and do not be nervous.
Please note that when transforming feeding into a playful form, you should not allow the baby to throw food around and play with it. Then it will be very difficult to wean him from this habit.
Educational mistakes that suppress food interest
Let's separately note several common mistakes that cause a child's persistent reluctance to eat:
Uses of blackmail
Threats in the form of “if you don’t eat, we won’t go for a walk,” “if you don’t eat, mom will be upset” provide the desired result for some time, but he doesn’t get pleasure from it and eventually refuses to eat food.
The result of the method is the development of a stable attitude towards the process of eating as a boring activity, from which at the age of 5 the child tries to evade and does not eat at all.
Food inappropriate for age
You can get used to eating meat, vegetables or porridge only by choosing the consistency in accordance with age.
At one year old, a child is not forbidden to refuse soup in favor of milk porridge, but at 3 years old such a whim is no longer acceptable.
Let's not forget about individual preferences, which do not necessarily coincide with ours.
Parents may be delighted with beef or pears, but the baby may dislike them and eat only rabbit and bananas.
The desire to feed to please your child
Worried that the baby will remain hungry, we rush to cook him something else. Or even worse, we feed them by stuffing them into our mouths while listening to cartoons.
Such a reaction is indulgence in whims.
Mom and dad make this mistake especially often when trying to feed their two-year-old toddler.
If he refuses to eat porridge or soup - no big deal, let him play some more and get hungry, then the same dish will be destroyed with pleasure.
Perseverance in the decision to make you eat
When a child, for some strange reason, suddenly stops eating something that previously did not cause any disgust, then it is a big mistake to force him to eat it.
It is necessary to have a conversation to find out the reason for this behavior.
Perhaps in kindergarten he tried a new dish with this product, which he did not like, or simply succumbed to the general behavior of children who boycotted lunch. In this case, you can offer to try to eat “how deliciously mom cooks,” “check that the sorceress of the housewife can make tasteless foods tasty,” or offer to be the best, simply because of the ability to be different.
Rejection of diets
Girls will always find a reason to doubt the ideality of their appearance. They tend to try to diet.
Arguing with a child and demanding that he renounce his beliefs is stupid, because this only exacerbates his desire to achieve his goal.
It is worth explaining that it is wrong to refuse all products; each is a source of essential microelements.
There is nothing complicated in changing the cooking method (not frying, but boiling, baking), giving up fatty meats and fish in favor of dietary ones, adding a little salt and sweetening the food.
Such an approach will not only provide the growing body with the right diet, but will also strengthen trust in parents and make it easier to accept criticism in kindergarten or school.
Comparison with other children
Pointing out to a child that certain Masha, Lena or Petya eat much better and leave it at that, only provokes hostility towards the mentioned individuals.
Every little person considers himself special, so he does not tolerate comparison with anyone; childhood grievances can be reflected in the future.
Therefore, it is important for him to know how close family members evaluate his actions.
How to teach a child to eat independently up to one year: step-by-step instructions
Famous pediatrician E.O. Komarovsky divided the entire process of teaching a child this skill into 4 stages. In his opinion, food should not only be tasty and high in calories, but also colorful. And the learning process itself is entertaining.
- The first stage of training should be filled with game moments. Parents at this stage can show all their creative abilities. It’s good if your baby is surrounded by his favorite fairy-tale characters while eating. But this does not mean that there should be toys on the table. Nothing like this. Just buy your child some children's tableware with a colorful design. Many parents buy plates with fairy-tale characters painted on the bottom. Until the baby eats the porridge, he will not see who is hiding at the bottom. Believe me, having such an incentive, he will be much more willing to use a spoon. You can ask the child to feed his mother. As a rule, children are completely delighted with such a game. True, mothers have to spend quite a long time putting themselves in order after lunch. By the way, Komarovsky advises first letting the baby play with the spoon, examine it carefully, and only then put the plate in front of him.
- The second stage is copying. The baby needs to be seated at the table next to you and demonstrated by example how to use a spoon. Children at this age willingly repeat all the movements after their parents, and this should be taken advantage of.
- Stage three includes “working on mistakes.” Parents should closely monitor the baby’s actions and, if necessary, correct his movements.
- Stage four – consolidation of acquired skills. In the sandbox, you can give your child a shovel and let him build Easter cakes. Having learned to use a spatula, the baby will soon learn how to handle a spoon. By the way, according to E. Komarovsky, children under three years of age can eat while holding a spoon in either hand - both the right and the left. There is no point in retraining them by transferring the spoon from the left hand to the right.
Problems with natural breastfeeding
Even after a month, bottle feeding can be replaced by breastfeeding if done correctly.
The first step should be to eliminate the reason that made you switch to formula milk.
Then you should carefully observe the behavior of the baby to understand the reason for refusing human milk.
Reasons for refusing breastfeeding
Natural feeding becomes a problem for mothers who allow their baby to become familiar with a pacifier. Experts note that due to the need to develop a new sucking technique, the child develops psychological discomfort.
In most cases, children do not want to constantly make a choice, because a pacifier can be at their disposal for quite a long time, and a caring mother can replace the breast with a bottle.
With artificial feeding, food easily passes through the nipple without much effort, which allows the baby to relax while feeding.
Returning to breast milk
Returning to breast milk is difficult because it requires a lot of work. Resistance is expressed in whims, which the mother tries to suppress by returning the treasured bottle, which is a big mistake.
Reluctance to breastfeed is often caused by improper attachment of the baby to it.
If the baby also swallows air along with the milk, he will subsequently experience discomfort and even pain in the abdomen. Incorrect attachment does not allow him to receive the required amount of vital substances, and provokes painful sensations in the mother during feeding. A newborn may refuse human milk if he or she has health problems:
- increased gas formation or colic caused by imperfect digestion;
- colds, ARVI;
- inflamed gums due to teething;
- runny nose.
If signs of illness appear, it is enough to consult with a pediatrician to quickly return your baby to good health and appetite.
Self-treatment will not bring anything good; only a specialist can determine whether medications can be used or whether massage is enough.
A categorical refusal to breastfeed or poor appetite is provoked by the presence of foreign odors, for example, perfume, or a change in the taste of milk.
How can a mother resume breastfeeding?
Let me note right away that it is difficult to give up the bottle. The mother is required to show maximum endurance and patience.
The first step to return to proper nutrition is a radical abandonment of pacifiers and bottles.
Naturally, such changes cause a storm of protest in the baby.
It is difficult to withstand the wave of resistance, but after 2-3 days the newborn, who does not have access to objects that can replace the breast, begins to latch onto it correctly and stops being capricious.
The complete absence of pacifiers also eliminates the development of stress due to the need to choose between sucking methods.
Mother and child need constant contact with each other.
The role of touching and stroking
Touching and stroking the baby promotes the production of oxytocin in the female body, which is necessary for the production of breast milk.
Even during pregnancy, you need to stroke your belly and talk to your baby.
This forms a strong connection that promotes the production of human milk in the future. A baby in the mother's arms develops a feeling of comfort and protection. To return to natural feeding, it is necessary to ensure that the child has only positive associations with his mother, so she should spend as much time as possible with him.
Breast should be given as often as possible, but not insisted on.
With natural feeding, there is no need to adhere to a strict schedule, as with formula.
The baby will quickly realize that receiving food on demand and falling asleep in this process is much more pleasant than a bottle, and remembering how to suck correctly is not difficult. He will finally be able to relax and eat in peace.
Turns away twenty times - eats once
If you are going to bring a spoon of puree to your child, then prepare for the fact that before he eats it, he will turn away from it twenty times. This is not an unfounded statement, it is a proven fact. Numerous studies and observations confirm exactly this pattern of behavior in young children. In order to interest a child in a new type of product, you need to offer it seventeen to twenty times.
It follows that you need to be patient and calmly but confidently insist on your own. If you want your children to try something new, you need to be able to wait. We will also have to come to terms with large “production waste”, although now, when television constantly shows images of starving people in Africa, this seems like an unforgivable sin. If you feel guilty, transfer funds to a children's aid fund. In any case, you need to get used to the idea that there will be waste.
After this, introduce the new food to your children without forcing them to eat it. Strange, but the number of such impressions before they swallow it is about twenty.
It is very important not to force, since the only way to teach children to resist is to force food in. If you want to teach your little Tarquin to hate carrots, just shove them into his mouth as hard as possible while he screams in protest.
Food training
Pediatricians constantly point out to young fathers and mothers that at every age the child must have developed certain skills (the ability to use a spoon, chew pieces of food), otherwise it will be difficult for him to adapt to kindergarten. But in pursuit of the desire to be like everyone else, it’s easy to forget that every little person is individual. The opinion of the famous doctor Komarovsky indicates that it is possible to avoid problems in accustoming to food (video at the end of the article)
Avoid being overprotective
It is not easy for a child to learn to chew cookies or apples on his own right away, but this does not mean that until he is 2 years old he should be given only pureed food.
The more often he trains on solid food, the faster he will master chewing skills.
Those who are very afraid that the baby may choke, simply should not leave him alone at this time.
Use comfortable cutlery
Some babies are comfortable with feeding with a teaspoon, while others need a special plastic one that is smaller in size.
If a child does not eat well from a spoon, then you should not force the child to eat this way.
It is enough to return to the bottle for a couple of days, and then try again, so as not to cause fear or disgust.
Adjust your diet
Reluctance to pick up a spoon and spitting out food is often a consequence of a simple lack of hunger. Too frequent feeding, the tricks that everyone resorts to to feed their child, not only provoke whims, but can also cause dangerous diseases. It's better to wait until the baby is hungry.
Those who are preparing to go to a nursery group in the kindergarten should consult in advance on what schedule the baby will eat in kindergarten, in order to provide him with the most similar regime at home.
Support rather than force
All children try to “grow up faster.” They begin to copy the actions of adults as soon as they realize that they can cope with this task. That is why there is no need to force the baby to pick up a cup or spoon and absorb vegetable purees until he begins to try to do this himself.
But then unobtrusive support and moderate praise are enough to create a strong desire to repeat the experiment.
Not understanding why to perform such a complex and uninteresting exercise causes fear and mistrust. Forced training in the ability to use a spoon due to reaching a certain age results in the inability to hold it correctly. Such children often have problems with nutrition in the garden, which cannot be overcome for a long time.
Learn to distinguish whims from necessity
The child prefers certain products due to whim or health conditions, for example, with severe allergic reactions. Komarovsky claims: if selectivity in food is not caused by the need to follow a diet due to illness, then in children from 3 years old this behavior is explained solely by the lack of hunger.
If you do not indulge your whims, but simply increase the time between meals, adding active games to these intervals, then a good appetite will not allow you to be capricious at the table.
At the age of 11 months to 3 years, children prefer dairy products, as they are more familiar and necessary for growth, as well as fruit purees because of their sweetness. Porridge, soups, mashed potatoes, pasta, vegetables and meat should be introduced into the menu carefully, without fanaticism.
Let your child eat on his own
By forbidding a child to pick up a spoon on his own for fear that he will get hurt or get dirty and get upset, parents are raising their child to be a manipulator. At the first call of the three-year-old, even his grandmother appears, ready to spoon-feed him any of several pre-prepared dishes. They forget that teachers will have to force the child to eat in kindergarten, which will cause him real stress, and with him it is impossible to avoid a selective attitude towards food, as a way to maintain increased attention to his person. I have had to deal with whims at the table more than once. Usually our problems begin after the children have been visiting their grandmother for a week, who is ready to cook for everyone separately “so that the grandson does not remain hungry.”
Discipline, no indulgences or snacks - after 2-3 days both sons eat without problems.
When should you start teaching your child to eat with a spoon?
Experts believe that by the age of one and a half years (or even earlier), children may well learn to eat on their own. But first you need to teach your child to use a spoon. When exactly should you start teaching your baby to use cutlery? It is difficult to answer this question unequivocally.
There is no optimal age when children are ready to use a spoon and other cutlery. All children are purely individual in this regard. But the most appropriate time for instilling the skills to manage food independently, according to child psychologists, is from ten months to a year. Some babies cope with this difficult task very quickly and begin to eat on their own by the age of one year. Others need some time, and therefore they learn to confidently hold a spoon in their hands only by the age of three.
How to instill in a 1-5 year old child an interest in the process of eating and make him eat with a spoon
Let's not forget that children try to copy adults in their behavior, including in relation to food. The earlier the baby eats at a common table, the easier it will be to cope with the selectivity of his appetite that arises in the process of growing up.
It is easier to force a one-year-old child to eat with a spoon and to stop indulging if you allow him to eat with all family members.
Hungry children eat
Spoiled children who have food shoved under their noses do not eat. This is one of the fundamental truths of life. Luckily for us, another fundamental truth of life is that hungry children eat. As soon as the body burns all its fuel reserves, the stomach begins to send signals to the brain - at first polite warnings, but they soon turn into an insistent demand, and then into cries for emergency help.
There is only one way to force a spoiled child to eat - hunger. This is a fantastic tool because you don't have to do anything at all to use it. All you need to do is wait a little. Waiting solves 98 percent of baby feeding problems.
The proverb that you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink, is true in a sense. But it is also true that any horse will sooner or later want to drink. And after he gets drunk, he will most likely still want to eat.
Useful tips
I offer a few simple tips that will help make family meals not only healthy, but also enjoyable:
Strictly follow the feeding ritual every day
Stability for children is in many ways a guarantee of peace of mind, so it is necessary to ensure not only adherence to the daily routine with eating at a certain time, but also to ensure that everyone living together eats only in the kitchen, to form the right habits, to establish a lifestyle by giving up TV, phones. Daily adherence to these rules helps to cope with the need for attention from all family members, forcing the little man to control his behavior and avoid whims.
By watching adults, the child learns etiquette and can answer how to hold cutlery correctly.
He learns the rules for using cutlery, learns how to combine different products to achieve maximum taste. And all this against the background of general stability, friendliness and security.
Retaining the right to choose the products he wants
Children prefer to independently choose the most comfortable seats for themselves at the table. There is no need to argue, just accept the rules of the game and the baby will be the first to run to the kitchen to take “his” place.
Give your child a nice plate and the spoons he wants.
You shouldn’t limit your child’s choice of food either; let him eat and drink what he really likes. There should always be edibles on the table that do not cause him dissatisfaction, for example, bread or milk, which he can combine with similar dishes.
This does not mean that you need to put unhealthy foods on the table.
It’s not enough to cook only what the baby likes; monotony is generally disgusting. The more dishes children try, the easier it will be for them to give up their role as “not wanting.”
More communication
Conversations at the table help establish the necessary atmosphere. In the process of interesting communication, you can provoke the child to eat on his own, without looking at the dish.
Even if the child eats only for the baby, he should not be forced to eat alone.
He needs company, even if mom has a very small portion, the main thing is the opportunity to talk, and not concentrate on looking at the food.
During a meal, you can discuss everything except the amount the child has eaten.
Otherwise, every meal will be perceived as a parade of reproaches.
Don't spend extra time sitting at your desk
There is no need to force the baby to sit in his place until all family members have finished eating. Such a demand turns into whims, throwing away what one eats.
Children need to know they can leave at any time in order to feel comfortable.
Leaving the student alone at the table also does not contribute to a good appetite; trying to imitate the others, he will remain hungry and disappointed. Therefore, in kindergarten, children who have finished their meal can go straight to play without waiting for the others, so the baby eats everything quickly to start playing.
No bribery
The baby should know that he will receive a treat after eating the main course.
It is in this sequence, and not as a reward. Otherwise, thoughts about candy or other treats absorb the child’s attention so much that he is no longer able to eat porridge, and looks at soup with disgust. Realizing the inability to eat a small spoon of this unappetizing dish compared to the delicacy, the baby begins to be capricious, and a hungry and upset child is a test for parents.
Respect for food and the example of parents
Preschoolers begin to throw food, play with it, and mistreat it when they are full. Pediatricians recommend immediately stopping this behavior by taking the plate away from the naughty person. He needs to learn that once he has satisfied his hunger, he should not throw food away. This rule also helps in situations where, after active play, the child cannot calm down at the table. You just have to offer to pick up the food, because “if he’s playing around, it means he’s full.”
Your own example in relation to food will greatly help your child develop rules of behavior in the kitchen.
For preschoolers, dad and mom are the main role models; he wants to be like them in everything. If the parents ate with pleasure, then the child will follow his example.
Baby needs to work up an appetite
Physical activity and a trip to the grocery store help awaken hunger. In kindergarten, the method of walking in the fresh air is actively used, where children can throw out excess energy, get tired and recharge themselves in a good mood, so that they don’t get picky at the table and eat too little.
Honesty and cooperation
Some ingredients of even the most delicious dish, such as onions, can look suspicious and scary, causing your baby to refuse to eat it. Avoiding keeping culinary secrets will help you cope with this task.
Take your child with you to the market or to the store when going grocery shopping, ask him for advice on which vegetables look best.
Child kitchen helper at 4 years old
Already at 4 years old, children can be excellent helpers in the kitchen, arranging dishes, supervising the process of cutting vegetables and mixing prepared ingredients. They can answer how borscht is prepared and participate in its preparation.
Cooking together not only awakens the appetite, but also teaches you not to be afraid to try, because all the components of the dish have been tested.
From the age of 6, children can independently prepare simple dishes and help their mother create a real culinary masterpiece. Give the children the opportunity to choose the most delicious recipes. Try to allow them to cook, serve them on the table with them, and they will no longer be picky at the table, because the desire to evaluate the result will be stronger. Motivate a 6-year-old child, and he will thank you.
How to teach a child to eat himself: specific techniques for parents
I would like to immediately warn all parents that the process of learning the skill of independent feeding is quite lengthy and painstaking. All household members will have to be patient. Spilled soup, porridge smeared on the table, bread crumbs on the floor - a picture that you will have to see every day. Remember, it is not your child’s fault, his coordination is still poorly developed and he also has a hard time. Learning something new is never easy. Praise your child more often, teach him to eat correctly and carefully.
During the learning process, you should not reprimand or scold a child, even if he dropped a plate of porridge on the floor. The baby may get scared and lose all desire to eat on his own. However, parents should not allow self-indulgence at the table. A child should not play with food!
There is probably no need to explain to parents that the child should wash his hands before eating. The sooner you teach him to maintain hygiene, the faster he will form this healthy habit.
Can a child eat in front of the TV?
You should turn off the TV while eating. American scientists conducted a study which found that children who eat food accompanied by scenes from their favorite cartoon chew it poorly and eat significantly less. But as soon as they make this process habitual, they will immediately begin to overeat, absorbing huge amounts of poorly chewed food. They are unlikely to be able to avoid digestive problems in the future.
Why does a child eat very slowly: 2 common reasons When eating, the baby should not be rushed. What if he eats very slowly? As a rule, a child’s slowness is associated with two reasons:
- He is cautious , afraid to hear critical remarks from you.
- He deliberately slows down the process, hoping that your patience will snap and you will feed him yourself. This situation can be corrected in a very simple way - if possible, sit down at the table with the whole family. After finishing your meal, immediately go about your business. Baby Kapusha will not like to be left alone at the table, and he will try to keep up.
Among other things, you need to strictly adhere to the regime and eat food at the same time. Dinner should end two hours before bedtime.
The main rule that all parents must learn is that if the child does not want to eat, you should not force him. No: “A spoon for dad, a spoon for mom.” When hungry, the baby will ask for food and eat it on his own with great pleasure. Child psychotherapist Alison Schaeffer noted that a person can live without food for a week. However, within two hours the young mother begins to think about whether her child is dying of starvation! Agree, quite an ironic remark. But how true!
But if the child has lost his appetite, then you need to determine the reason why the child is not eating well.
