How to raise a lazy child: advice from a psychologist

It happens that a child, who by age is supposed to be more active than anyone else, prefers to do nothing. Sleeping until lunch, getting caught up in TV series or computer games, refusing to help around the house, abandoning hobbies and hobbies, “moving out” in school, not going out to socialize with friends, and so on. Parents in such a situation sound the alarm and try to figure out how to prevent their son or daughter from finally sliding into the abyss of doing nothing and apathy. In this article we will try to figure out what could be the reasons for this problem, and what methods can be used to combat childhood laziness.

Why is a child lazy, and what to do in each specific situation?

There can be many reasons why a child does not have the energy for activities beyond some necessary minimum. Here are the most common ones (and corresponding ways to overcome childhood laziness):

Low motivation

To do something, you need to see some meaning in it, understand why it is needed (even if the task itself is quite meaningless, but has meaning in the context of some larger matter). Surely it is also very difficult for you to force yourself to do something that seems to you a waste of time. But adults at least have sufficient resources to force themselves to do an unwanted activity, unlike children. The latter may simply not understand why wash if tomorrow you get dirty again; Why study better if you won’t be kicked out of school even with C grades; Why go and communicate with someone, spending effort on it, if playing a game on a computer is much easier.

Therefore, it is very important to explain to the child why he should do something. It’s not easy to tell him to put away the toys, because that’s what it’s necessary to do - tell him that if they lie anywhere, they can fall and break, someone can step on them, and in principle, moving around the apartment will be problematic. It is very important to give such explanations in a friendly tone, and not in the format of scolding or statements in the spirit of “how can you not understand such simple things.” And if the child himself asks why he should perform this or that action, do not be lazy to find a good explanation.

Overprotection

As practice shows, not all parents/grandparents who overprotect their children/grandchildren are aware of this and know how to stop in time. In this case, we are talking about the desire to do everything for the child: after all, adults can wash the dishes, fold things, and button a shirt much more quickly and skillfully than their son or daughter.

Children, in principle, tend to explore the world and strive for independence. They really want to try everything themselves, but if this enthusiasm is constantly suppressed by parental “let me do it, otherwise you’ll get hurt,” “I’ll do it, otherwise you’ll be fussing for a long time,” and the like, then over time it simply fades away. Why would a child try something if adults would still deal with any problem themselves, and he, apparently, is not good enough for this?

Therefore, do not interfere with your child’s reality testing. Let him break something, spill something, do something far from ideal, or fiddle around for too long - but he will wash the dishes himself, put things in order in his closet himself, peel the orange himself. And if, in addition to this, he receives praise from you, then the incentive to try will become even stronger.

Lack of interest

It also happens that children's laziness appears simply because the child is simply bored. He doesn’t like what he, for some reason, has to do, and he doesn’t see the point in forcing himself into such activities.

Here you need to look at what exactly we are talking about. If this is studying at school, then you will have to explain to your son or daughter why this is still important and necessary, and help him/her find some subjects that may be more interesting and “extract” at least some interest in school classes. If a child was enrolled in a drawing class, and he wanted to play hockey, perhaps you just shouldn’t torment him with something he doesn’t need. Choose additional activities only together with your child, even if you would really like him to become a pianist, football player, or something else like that. He has the right to live and enjoy his life in the way that is closest to him.

Features of temperament

Not all children are born to be “electric brooms” who always have energy and a desire to do something. The typology of temperament types: melancholic, phlegmatic, sanguine, choleric is based on the characteristics of higher nervous activity, and these are the characteristics that determine the child’s behavior physiologically.

Children's laziness may not be so much laziness as the quickness and slowness of a melancholic or phlegmatic person. People with this temperament need tasks that require perseverance and concentration, and not maximum sociability and speed (and certainly not speed competitions). At the same time, choleric and sanguine people are the worst at such tasks - it is better for them to be given tasks for quick reaction, active communication with other people, and frequent changes of activities.

If for some reason a child needs to cope with tasks that are not suitable for his type of temperament, then this may well become the cause of childhood laziness. Nobody wants to do something that they are not good at, that makes them uncomfortable, that they cannot achieve success in. Therefore, find out what type of temperament your son or daughter has (the corresponding tests can be easily found on the Internet) and select activities for him/her that suit her. The same drawing may be interesting to a melancholic person, and team sports games - for example, to a sanguine person.

Fatigue and/or stress

Sometimes the reason for children's laziness lies in banal fatigue, or in a complex psychological state in general. Perhaps the child is tired from intense studies, or from having to attend a large number of clubs, or from numerous household responsibilities (especially if he is required to look after younger brothers/sisters). Or perhaps he cannot find a common language with his classmates, or even with one of the teachers. Maybe he's worried about disagreements between mom and dad and the prospect of their divorce. Or perhaps he fell in love, and the object of his romantic feelings did not reciprocate his feelings.

Yes, or he just thinks that he is not dressed stylishly enough compared to his peers - believe me, children can have millions of reasons for worries and suffering that will not even occur to you, and which will seem funny to an adult. But for a child they are really important; for him they are tragedies, catastrophes regarding his short life. And if he spends all his resources on the corresponding experiences, then there is simply nothing left for the rest.

Therefore, it is very important to listen sensitively to your child’s condition. Never make fun of what is important to him; try to create an atmosphere in the family in which he can turn to you for help and support without fear. And then it will be much easier to get rid of the stress factor and, as a result, from childhood laziness.

Low self-esteem and fear of failure

The last common reason that a child is lazy is his lack of confidence in success due to low self-esteem. It is clear that water does not flow under a lying stone, and something can only be achieved through trial and error, but sometimes the fear of failure turns out to be so strong that it literally paralyzes the desire to do anything in principle.

To overcome this fear, again, it is very important to make your son/daughter feel supported. Try to scold them less for failures (instead, it is better to analyze mistakes); Explain that there is nothing wrong with failures, and that you yourself have gone through them many times; Make it clear that you love your child regardless of their success in any area.

I have a lazy child - what should I do? psychologist's advice

The responsibility for raising children lies entirely on the shoulders of the parents. So, under no circumstances should you tell your child that he is lazy. After all, by labeling it, you can reinforce an accidental manifestation of laziness and only aggravate the problem.

I have a lazy child! He doesn't want to do anything and he's not interested in anything! Unfortunately, these words can often be heard from modern parents. But let's look at this problem together. Do lazy children really exist, or is the blame entirely on their weak-willed parents?

Advice from a psychologist for parents who think they have a lazy child

Lazy child: what is the reason?
Advice for parents who think they have a lazy child

The fact is that some parents are simply unable to instill in their children the willpower necessary to perform even the simplest duties. Below you will find advice from a psychologist on how to solve this problem.

Lazy child: what is the reason?

The dictionary definition of the adjective “lazy” is idle, unwilling to work. This is what we call people who do not want to fulfill their responsibilities. After all, this implies some effort and sacrifice on their part. Instead, they prefer to do something enjoyable and exciting.

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Unfortunately, parents often behave inconsistently . If you cannot get your child to perform basic duties, but at the same time you allow him, for example, to watch TV, don’t be surprised why you have a lazy child.

Before you label your child, consider whether you always act correctly as a parent. There are 2 extremes here:

The first type of parents allows their children to do whatever they want.
The second, on the contrary, is characterized by increased demands.

As you probably know, any extremes are harmful, you should stick to the golden mean. Our advice will help you with this.

Advice for parents who think they have a lazy child

Understand the reason for this behavior

If you notice that your baby has become more lazy than usual and this worries you, you need to determine the reason. Remember that laziness and lethargy are not at all synonymous with low intelligence. These things are not connected at all.

So, first of all, you need to understand the reasons for laziness. They can be of a medical nature, or they can be related to family or society. Only then can you begin to directly correct the situation.

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For example, if the reason lies in low motivation, it is important to say encouraging words every time the child completes at least some task. And it doesn’t matter at all whether the result pleases you. This positive incentive is necessary for him to enthusiastically take on and complete new tasks.

Behavior correction

If you calmly think about the reasons for laziness, then most likely you will come to the conclusion that you yourself allowed it. This type of behavior is a direct consequence of overprotection.

Therefore, it is worth changing your parenting tactics. Otherwise, laziness will take root and the child will grow up to be a lazy adult. Ideally, it is worth looking for comrades in this difficult matter in order to jointly find a solution to the problem.

For example, it will be useful to refer to the successful experiences of other families and read literature on this topic. Finally, seek help from a family psychologist.

Be an example for a child

Any psychologist will tell you that parents are the main role model of behavior for their children. So you have a huge responsibility to serve as a living example of correct behavior for them. After all, if you yourself cannot show how important commitment and discipline are, then what can we say about children.

Several general methods of combating childhood laziness

In conclusion, here are a few more tips on how to rid your child of the habit of constantly being lazy, which can be used regardless of the cause of this problem:

Set the right example. Children on a subconscious level internalize the behavior patterns that their parents demonstrate to them. And if you yourself regularly allow yourself to be lazy instead of doing something useful and necessary, then the child begins to think that this is the norm, that this is exactly how one should behave.

Distribute responsibilities fairly. All family members should do household chores, and each of them should do what he is best at and for which he is better suited. If your son/daughter finds it hard to monotonously wipe dust from shelves and drawers, then let someone else do it, and he, for example, will take out the trash, or vacuum, or make tea for everyone. It is best if the whole family does the cleaning at the same time, together. You can add music to this, or cook a delicious pie together as a reward.
Monitor your child's daily routine and ensure that he has enough free time. Wanting to wean their child from childhood laziness, many parents begin to literally bombard him with errands and activities, but this only causes even greater rejection. A child of any age needs time to play, relax, and see friends - and this is no less important than time allocated for school and extracurricular activities. It is also important that he gets enough sleep and maintains the correct daily routine.

Try not to use work as a means of punishment. If for every offense a child has to wash the floors, go to the store, clean the room or cook buckwheat, then all these activities will have a negative emotional connotation for him. And he will no longer want to deal with them under pressure.
Add play elements to ordinary household activities. This is a particularly good way to cope with laziness in younger children: you can use toys in classes, make up fairy tales, and introduce competitive elements.

We hope that in all of the above, you have found those ways to deal with childhood laziness that are most suitable for you and your son or daughter!

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Children's laziness Child Education Raising a child Child psychology Psychology Psychological complexes Psychological problems Children's problems

What to do if a child is lazy: how to deal with childhood laziness