The child does not sleep well at night: causes and solutions to the problem

Parents often encounter nighttime sleep disturbances in children aged 4 years. In most cases, this is expressed by crying. However, a medical examination does not reveal any somatic disorders. What worries a child between 3 and 5 years old? Let's try to figure it out.

Sleep disturbance in a four-year-old child

First age crisis

At the age of 4, children experience their first age crisis, which is characterized by the following changes in behavior:

• whims;
• protests;
• increased sensitivity;
• stubbornness;
• irritation.

The baby may react to comments or the psychological situation with increased tearfulness, nervous breakdowns or disobedience. Interestingly, internal protest or non-compliance with requests is not expressed verbally. Children at this age are unable to clearly define their internal state in words and show it in this way.

Internal discomfort and tension lead to the development of disappointment, anxiety or despair. High sensitivity and a feeling of deprivation (of attention, toys, etc.) cause sleep disturbances.

"I myself"

Children's activity levels increase rapidly at the age of 4 years. In addition, they develop an awareness of themselves as individuals, and often such self-esteem is inflated. Children aged 3-5 years are very responsive, love to do “adult” things, copy the behavior of adults, thereby internally identifying themselves as one of them.

During this period, it is very important for parents to have an adequate attitude towards their child, since a careless remark like “your hands are full of holes” can seriously and deeply hurt him. Phrases like: “I’d rather do it myself”, lack of emotional contact with the baby, can lead to sleep disturbances, autism and alienation.

Features of thinking

Children aged 4 years develop visual-figurative thinking. That is, they view the situation “as if”, without associating it with a specific object. Recreating various images, the child relies on his knowledge, practical experience, fairy tales, cartoons, etc. Children at this age love to fantasize, mixing reality and fiction.

It is important to monitor what your 4-year-old child watches on TV or on the computer, since “cartoon” characters can be associated with some situation and transferred to reality. Fantasy episodes, fictional stories and characters are emotionally important and real for children of this age period.

This perception greatly affects sleep, causing sleep disturbances. Emotionally experienced fairy tales or cartoons can lead to night terrors, anxiety and overexcitation of the nervous system. This is expressed by sleep disturbance, crying, anxiety, hair pulling and other reactions.

Causes of poor sleep

Restless sleep is normal in the first year of a child's life, and the problem usually gradually disappears as they grow older. In children aged 2-3 years, night awakenings can be observed under certain circumstances, for example, if bright, interesting events occur or are planned. If the problem with sleep is regular, parents should quickly address it.

There are many causes of childhood insomnia, but the most common and probable are:

• Active activities before bed
  . Outdoor and computer games, noisy cartoons and films - all this excites the child’s nervous system. As a result, he cannot sleep at night - there are too many emotions.
• Disturbed regime
  . If a child goes to kindergarten, one can hardly talk about a lost daily routine. Most often, the problem occurs in children who spend most of their time at home. Prolonged daytime sleep and late rising can become objective reasons for disrupted night sleep.
• Stress
  . Stress is not uncommon for preschool children. Naturally, insomnia is only their manifestation. To restore healthy sleep, you need to identify the causes of stress and deal with them.
• The habit of sleeping with parents
  . Families often practice having a child sleep together with mom and dad, and then try to get him used to spending the night in his own room or bed. Naturally, at first the child is afraid to sleep alone, which is why he cannot sleep.
• Inconveniences
  . It is likely that the child is simply experiencing discomfort in his own crib. Perhaps the pillow is too small, the blanket is too heavy, the mattress is hard. It is possible that the child is frightened by some element in the room, for example, a large mirror opposite the crib or a doll with a scary smile.
• Bad feeling.
  If a child is worried about something in terms of health, his sleep will also be restless. As soon as the main problem is solved, night sleep is restored.
• Psychological problems.
  Insomnia is a common sign of psychological discomfort. If, in addition to poor sleep, there are changes in the child’s behavior and mood, or a decrease in appetite, you should consult a psychologist - the reason may lie in psychological problems.

Common mistakes parents make

When trying to improve the sleep of a 4-year-old child, parents most often look for a physical reason for the disorder. Carrying out all kinds of examinations, they forget about the main thing - the mental balance of the children (and their own). They make the same mistakes:

• The desire to “develop” intelligence. Nowadays, almost from the cradle, children begin to be taught languages, music, reading, drawing, and so on. All this is necessary and good, but to a greater extent they need physical development. It is she who determines mental development. They often write: “my child is fully loaded (clubs, classes, teachers...), gets tired in the evening, but does not sleep...”. And he just needed to “run” during the day, then, physically tired, he would quickly and soundly fall asleep.

Children who have played well during the day usually sleep soundly

• Sleep disturbances in children aged 4 years also occur in the absence of sufficient emotional contact with their parents. You can come across such advice as: “don’t teach him to lie down with you, don’t react to crying, calm down on his own,” and so on. On the contrary, do not be afraid that by providing help and support to your child, you will “spoil” him. Put him to sleep next to you. This will not continue until old age, but the psyche will remain in order.
• Treating a child as a “child.” Increasing self-worth in children at the age of 4 requires an adequate attitude of parents towards them. The desire for independence often collides with: “you can’t do this yet,” “you can cut yourself,” “you’re still small.”

Symptoms of poor sleep in children

“The child began to sleep poorly” - behind this fairly common complaint from parents, a variety of problems with children’s sleep disturbances can be hidden. One baby has difficulty falling asleep or cannot fall asleep without his mother, another wakes up at night, and someone scares his parents by walking around the house at night. In general, problems with night sleep can manifest themselves as follows:

• the child cannot sleep for a long time;
• the child has nightmares;
• there is restless behavior during sleep - the child tosses and turns, twitches, moans or cries;
• the child grinds his teeth;
• the child sleepwalks at night.

Night awakenings are often accompanied by crying, screaming and even develop into hysterics. Restless, poor sleep exhausts a child overnight and does not allow the body to recover after a busy day, so parents can quickly find and fix the problem.

What can be done?

It is possible to combat sleep disturbances in children 4 years of age without resorting to medications (in the absence of illnesses). This must be done based on the characteristics of the child’s mental development at this age.

• Involve children in household chores, give them instructions, consult with them and ask for advice. This gives you a feeling of being needed and important.
• Monitor your child's physical activity throughout the day. Let him walk, run, ride a bike or roller skate more. The ideal option would be if you keep him company.
• If fears arise, try a game form of relief. You can buy a white umbrella, paint it together and use it at night as “protection” from scary characters, placing it open next to your bed.
• If sleep disturbance occurs due to fear of the dark, then come up with games in which it is necessary. For example, a “house” made of a blanket.

To gradually accustom a child to the dark, games in a house made of several chairs covered with a blanket are well suited.

• Create situations where your child can overcome something or express himself in some way, and encourage him in any case. This will give him confidence in his abilities, the belief that he is able to cope with difficulties on his own, and inner peace.
• Choose fairy tales with good characters and pictures. Do not allow watching TV or computer before bed.

Most often, sleep disturbances in children aged 4 years are associated precisely with psychological development. If a baby can talk about physical pain and show the place where it hurts, then he is unable to explain internal tension, despair or resentment in words. Carefully observe your child, carefully analyze his actions and reactions to situations, and you will definitely find the cause of the sleep disorder.

Has trouble sleeping at night

Hello Tatiana! To tell you the truth, to explain from an accurate medical point of view the remark of a doctor passing by, is completely impossible. But approximately - instability, sensitivity of responses to what is happening around. This “happening” can include emotional reactions, changes in atmospheric pressure, physical activity, etc. Those. some special type of temperament. Unfortunately, our medicine is increasingly trying to clumsily copy Western models. It is absolutely obvious that if a two-year-old child “speaks well, knows colors, knows a lot of brands of cars, loves to “read” books, in short, develops more or less normally...” then we simply cannot talk about any organic pathology of the nervous system (organic pathology - this is what can really be seen - inflammation, abscess, tumor, underdevelopment of anything, etc.). This means that the existing problems relate to the emotional sphere, which was, is and, apparently, will be a secret behind seven seals for a long time. But doctors simply cannot tell a worried mother “we don’t understand anything here” or admit that medicine in this case does not have harmless options for help. So they “examine” you for self- and mutual reassurance - ultrasound, dopplers, etc. “Well, you can see for yourself - there’s nothing to worry about...” The problem of night sleep really exists and you must clearly imagine the real possibilities - your own and the doctor’s. Using serious medications to help the child sleep at night is not a problem at all. But such drugs are very dangerous strategically, although they are tactically convenient - at least they give the mother the opportunity to sleep. Therefore, we immediately reject the option of using all sorts of tranquilizers and antipsychotics as unacceptable. Real options for pharmacological assistance nevertheless exist.

1. Sleeping pills and sedatives based on medicinal plants. You have already tried a lot, but there is one peculiarity in this direction: very often there is a very good reaction (i.e., achievement of the desired effect) to one drug, but almost no reaction to others. Those. one feels good with valerian, the second with mint, the third with motherwort, the fourth with lemon balm, etc. Almost all herbal sedatives are harmless, and you can experiment in different ways, look, with some drug and you’ll guess. Naturally, you can also try complex preparations (that is, those with a little bit of different herbs) - Persen, Sanason, etc.

2. Be sure to make sure that the child receives enough calcium. During the period of intensive growth of bones and teeth, a decrease in the level of calcium in the blood serum is very often observed, and one of the classic manifestations of this decrease is a significant increase in nervous and psycho-emotional excitability. The essence of the test is not to drag the child to another laboratory, but to give the baby 2-3 tablets of calcium gluconate or calcium glycerophosphate per day for 2-3 weeks. The presence of a positive effect (sleeps better, is calmer, etc.) confirms the version of a calcium metabolism disorder due to its lack. Next, and this is very (!) important. Very often, when a child is constantly fed vitamins, there is an overdose of vitamin D, which, again, requires calcium. And if vitamin D is given, but calcium is not, then you can sleep poorly both day and night.

3. Another, previously widely used, but now undeservedly forgotten drug is sodium bromide solution. About 50 years ago, no one would have done an ultrasound, but they would have prescribed bromine for the baby, he would have slept much better and everyone would have felt good. Sodium bromine is used in the form of a 2% solution, it must be ordered at the pharmacy - this is the main inconvenience - doctors have forgotten how to write out prescriptions. The dose for a two-year-old child is 1.5 teaspoons 3 times a day, or you can do this: 1 teaspoon in the morning and afternoon, 2 teaspoons at night. Give 10 days at this dose, and then gradually reduce the amount of the drug over 2-3 weeks. In order to obtain bromine, you should ask your local pediatrician to write a prescription. This is where safe pharmacology ends. Now let's forget about chemistry. The situation when a child feels well and develops well, but at the same time his mother does not sleep at night for 3 years is absolutely abnormal!!! This is wrong on many levels. This is masochism, this is a lack of understanding of your own prospects - well, at least the fact that your son still needs a healthy mother! Therefore, if you think at least a little about yourself, and raise your boy even a little, this will not at all mean that you are an evil, unkind stepmother. This will only mean that the happiness of the child and the happiness of his mother are interconnected things. What should you do to help your baby sleep better at night? The answers are actually obvious, you just need to analyze for yourself, what should you do to yourself to sleep better? 1. Not getting enough sleep. Those. The child should be prevented from getting enough sleep during the day. I guess that Dimkin’s nap during the day is also a reason for you to take a nap, especially since the night is still ahead... But! Wake him up in an hour, if it doesn’t help, don’t put him to bed at all. Sing, dance, walk, negotiate, etc. - but don't sleep. 2. In the evening, do not go to bed until you see that you are “ready”, will be ready - at 22 - please. No - even if he runs until 2 am, but after he gets into bed, communication should end until the morning. 3. Until your night's sleep improves, limit emotional stress - all these cars, colors, letters, books and other educational games.

4. On the contrary, try to increase physical activity. Walk more, jump and gallop, be sure to take a walk in the evening.

5. It is very important that the children's bedroom (any bedroom) has clean and cool air. No more than 20 C, ideally 18 C.

Last thing.
Stop thinking that in such a situation at least someone will help you. No homeopaths and other healers, no neurologists, uzologists and osteopaths (by the way, I have no idea who they are) will help you. In relation to your situation, the idea that a person is the architect of his own happiness is 100% correct. All the best to you, good luck and Dimka, special greetings and good night from Uncle Doctor. Komarovsky Evgeniy Olegovich - Komarovsky E. O.