6 ways to teach your child to fall asleep (without screaming and rocking)

Mode

At each age, a child has an allotted time of wakefulness and a total number of hours of sleep per day that he needs to sleep.
With children under one and a half years old, we are not talking about a schedule tied to a clock, rather, about the rhythm of sleep and wakefulness, observing which, we do not overtire the baby, and then he does not overtire us. We put newborns to bed often, often, and let them sleep as much as they want, practically until they wake up to eat. During the first year, this picture will change greatly, and by the end of it the baby will only have one or two naps during the day, with a total duration of two to three hours. Can you imagine the difference?

Newborn sleep

If a child has been accustomed from birth to falling asleep in his arms or being rocked to sleep, then of course he will refuse to fall asleep on his own. The little one has already developed a rule:

• when you are rocked to sleep, it means you need to sleep;
• stopped downloading, which means you need to wake up and play.

There is nothing surprising in such addiction. Even adults develop certain reflexes. Some people are used to falling asleep to quiet music; for others, when falling asleep, it is important that the night light is turned on. It is difficult to break the habit of such habits, let alone a little person who finds it difficult to get used to new rules during the day and night rest.

Teaching a child to sleep without motion sickness is not so easy. A newborn is very sensitive to any changes in his daily routine. For a child, what he is accustomed to from birth is safe, and the little body perceives any innovations with caution. Without receiving the usual rocking motion before bed, the child begins to get nervous, capricious, and every minute it becomes more and more difficult for him to fall asleep.

But, there are other reasons why a child does not fall asleep. These are disruptions in the daily feeding schedule, rest, lack of physical activity, illiterate nutrition of a breastfeeding mother, or the maturation of some pathology. Therefore, you need to pay attention to how the child falls asleep and sleeps. It is possible that the reason for constant vagaries with discontent lies in the development of a serious illness. So, if a child is sick, then at this time he simply needs to be rocked for a speedy recovery.

Interestingly, newborn babies do not need rocking to fall asleep. His parents teach him to do this, which subsequently results in sleep disturbances. It is parents who make it difficult for children to fall asleep on their own.

Ritual

No, we are not talking about dancing with a tambourine and making a sacrifice to the god of sleep! A ritual is a constant, repeating chain of actions that help the child understand that it is time to sleep. It induces relaxation, satisfies the need for hugs, love, and tactile contact.

We need the ritual to mark bedtime, so that the child can only close his eyes and fall asleep. This sequence of actions is repeated for all dreams, although for a daytime nap the ritual can be shorter (and even different from the night ritual) and carried out only once, so the child will soon get used to the fact that after doing “one-two-three” - it will be bedtime.

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The ritual should be such that it can be repeated by any adult putting the child to bed (mom, dad, grandmother, nanny) and should not be tied to a place. This is how it will help put your child to sleep when visiting, on vacation or at the dacha.

We put the baby to sleep without whims, using Komarovsky’s recommendations

You can use the advice of Dr. Komarovsky to put your child to sleep without motion sickness:

• There should be smooth, calm relationships in the family . When a baby feels a tense atmosphere between mom and dad, he will not be able to grow and develop normally. If a child does not sleep well, problems with the psyche and immune system will begin. To create a calm, comfortable environment at home, parents must rest and get enough sleep themselves;
• Until the child is 3 months old, it is difficult to organize his daily routine. But, it is advisable to create at least an approximate daily routine , then it will be easier to put a newborn to sleep without motion sickness. To create a daily schedule, you need to take a closer look at the baby’s mood and behavior during the day. You need to put your child to bed at the first signs of fatigue and drowsiness (rubbing his eyes and ears, yawning, and may be capricious). It is necessary to strictly adhere to the established schedule of feeding and rest (day, night);
• Komarovsky recommends that from the first day after the child and mother are discharged from the maternity hospital, the child should be placed only in his crib . It’s good if the child has his own, separate room. This way the baby will quickly develop a reflex: lie down in his crib and fall asleep;
• Children of different ages require a certain amount of sleep, which is best not to exceed . For example, up to 3 months, a child should sleep from 15 to 20 hours per day, no more. It is better to limit sleep during the day a little so that your night's rest lasts longer. Try gently waking your baby up during daytime naps, and watch how he falls asleep in the evening;
• it is necessary to follow the feeding regime . In order for the child to sleep peacefully, he needs to be fed an hour before getting ready for bed;
• During the day, you need to walk with your baby , try to have at least one nap during the day in the fresh air. Talk to your baby, tell and read fairy tales to him, sing songs, listen to music together, engage in educational activities;
• Monitor not only the air temperature in the nursery, but also the humidity . Too dry air and high humidity are harmful for a newborn. Do wet cleaning in the children's room every day;
• It is important that before bedtime the baby experiences only positive emotions . Bathe your baby before each night's sleep. Bathing is not only a pleasant hygienic procedure for the baby, but also light physical activity;
• To put your baby to sleep without motion sickness, you need a comfortable crib . The mattress should be smooth and dense at the same time. Until the age of two, children should sleep without pillows, under a light blanket. Bed linen should be purchased only from natural fabrics;
• Komarovsky notes that a well-chosen diaper . Therefore, you need to give preference to products designed for long-term use.

Of course, teaching a child to fall asleep on his own may be accompanied by his whims, dissatisfaction, and even crying. Parents should be patient and not get angry with the baby. An established schedule for daytime and nighttime sleep, feedings, walks and activities necessary for a newborn will help parents cope with the problems of falling asleep in a newborn.

Reasonable associations for falling asleep

Sleep associations are the conditions in which the baby is accustomed to falling asleep, including the environment and the actions of the parents. They are necessary both for a peaceful sleep and at the moments of awakening between sleep cycles.

The sleep cycle per year is 40-50 minutes, at two years – about 1.5 hours, hence the frequent awakenings that exhaust children and parents. If the conditions in which the child woke up are identical to those that helped him initially fall asleep, then returning back to sleep will be much easier.

How to go to bed without crying

Since for a child after a year, motion sickness is more of a pleasant ritual than a psychological necessity, the only way to painlessly refuse it is to replace it with another pleasant thing. But the trick will not work if the child can receive this pleasure at another time in a different way.

The mother’s task is to come up with some kind of exclusive that the baby will like so much that he will voluntarily agree to replace motion sickness with it. At the same time, the new ritual should be calm, relaxing, and conducive to falling asleep.

Let's think about what it could be:

1. An interesting story that a mother tells or reads only when the child lies calmly in the crib with his eyes closed. The voice should be quiet and monotonous, and you certainly shouldn’t pretend to be a hero. It’s better to let the baby imagine them and thus smoothly fall asleep. This does not mean that you should not read to your child during the day. But the most interesting, most beloved book should be left for the night.
2. Humming a lullaby. A simple calm melody and the sound of the mother's voice relax the child, and its rhythm partially compensates for the rhythmicity of the rocking. You can even “purr” a simple song without words - the child will fall asleep to it even faster. To maintain tactile contact, hold the baby in your arms or place your palm on your stomach or forehead if he is in his crib.
3. Flickering light. For any child there is always magic and a fairy tale. Now in stores there is a large selection of children's lamps that imitate the effect of smoothly rotating or twinkling stars. They have a calming effect, but at the same time cause visual fatigue and the eyes close on their own.
4. Uniform noise. Even the simple hiss of a TV with a non-working channel will do. But you can put on a disc with relaxing sounds: the sound of the sea, the rustling of leaves, etc. Some kids fall asleep perfectly to meditation music, but it should sound so quiet that you need to listen to it.
5. Soft toy. Partially replaces tactile contact with mother for the baby. It should not be too big and fluffy so that it does not interfere with the child’s ability to breathe freely and does not take up half the bed. You can invite your baby to sing a lullaby for the toy together and rock it to sleep. Then he will “nurse” himself on his own, and at the same time he will feel “big” and able to take care of the toy.

Of course, none of the proposed methods will work right away. And even having seemingly lost the habit of motion sickness, the child will periodically remember it and try to regain what was lost.

You will have to be patient and persistent. Remember that if you give in once, you will be forced to start all over again.

If you do everything correctly and consistently, you can teach your baby to lie down in his own bed and fall asleep calmly without motion sickness in about two weeks. Moreover, if at first protests occur every night, then within a week they will become only sporadic, and then disappear altogether.

At what age should a child be taught to sleep alone?

Before you start worrying about how to teach a child at 1 year old or another age to fall asleep on his own, you need to understand whether he is ready for this. It all depends on his physiological and psycho-emotional state. Some children who are accustomed to a routine and who are not disturbed by anything are ready to sleep alone at an early age. For hyperactive and excitable children, this may take from several months to several years.

Experts recommend starting to teach your child to sleep independently from birth. Studies have shown that children aged 1.5-3 months get used to falling asleep much faster without parental help. If a child is already accustomed to sleeping alone by the age of 1, this tradition should under no circumstances be broken. As a rule, children who slept alone until they were 1-1.5 years old and then changed their routine cannot be weaned from their parents’ bedroom until they are almost 5-6 years old.

When?

The answer is obvious: the sooner the better.

However, when a child is born, mothers want to endlessly hug him, cuddle him, rock him to sleep, thereby teaching him that it is impossible to fall asleep without his mother’s hands and the baby becomes dependent on them. Some mothers believe that motion sickness is necessary for the baby, to which doctors answer that if there is a need for this, then in the first three months and only occasionally. For example, when your tummy hurts or your baby is woken up by a loud sound. If you constantly rock your baby in your arms for three months (as practice shows, modern mothers don’t limit themselves to three months), then the baby already gets used to it and the question arises of how to wean him from motion sickness.

However, many mothers and even local pediatricians find advantages in rocking the baby and falling asleep in mother's arms, while others are categorically against such rocking. Despite the warnings of doctors, parents find advantages and disadvantages of motion sickness. The main advantage is that by rocking you to sleep, you can help your child fall asleep very quickly. And the drawback is obvious: if you enjoyed pumping a three-kilogram miracle, then with a weight of 10 kg there will be less pleasure. Therefore, if it becomes physically difficult for you, then it’s time to wean it off.

Methods for teaching yourself to fall asleep independently

There are many techniques that help parents understand how to teach their child to fall asleep on their own. Conventionally, they can be divided into two groups: those that involve the child crying, and those in which he falls asleep without tears. Here are some of them:

1. Wilesbut method

. The founder of the method believed that in order for a child to fall asleep, you need to let him cry. To do this, parents must leave him alone in the crib and leave the room. After crying, the baby will fall asleep on his own. The method is suitable for children from four months old, does not require parental help and works in about 3-4 days. However, opponents of the method argue that this may violate the child's basic trust in his parents. In addition, the method causes stress in adults.

2. Ferber method

. The technique is similar to the previous one, but here parents need to periodically check and reassure the baby. As a rule, the effect also occurs within 3-5 days. However, the method is also not suitable for adults without an “iron will”. It causes stress for both them and the child.

3. Tracy Hogg Method

. This technique is classified as “tearless”. Parents who don't know how to teach a child at 4 months or another age to fall asleep on their own should first calm him down by patting or humming a song. If the baby is crying at this time, it is better to take him in your arms. Once he has completely calmed down, transfer him to his crib. The technique is suitable for easily excitable children. It teaches the bedtime ritual and helps parents better understand their child. However, the method works slowly.

4. Elizabeth Paintley method

. Another tearless technique involves gradually fading help from parents. First, they calm the baby until he almost falls asleep, and a little later - until he is drowsy. Over time, they learn to lay him down without picking him up. After this, contact is reduced to only light touches, and then stops altogether, replaced by gentle words. By following the technique gradually, parents will be able to calm the baby from a distance. However, this takes a very long time.

5. Kim West Method

. This technique is similar to the previous one. But here the parents do not hold the child in their arms at all. They put him in his crib, and then, stroking him and saying kind words, they slowly move away from him. This should happen over 3-4 days. Although the method works slowly, it strengthens the bond between the baby and parents.

All these methods are also suitable for those who are interested in how to teach a child to fall asleep independently during the day. However, it should be noted that the faster parents want to achieve results, the more stressful the process will be.

Can I take my child into my bed?

There is debate about whether it is possible to take a child into your bed to help him fall asleep faster. Of course, in this case, the child will get used to falling asleep in bed faster, but when making a decision, you need to pay attention to your own sleep pattern. If you sleep peacefully and do not toss and turn in your sleep, but wake up to turn over to the other side, you can safely sleep with your baby in the same bed. If you sleep restlessly, toss and turn a lot in your sleep, etc., it is better to leave your newborn in a separate crib. Place the beds nearby so you can reach out to your baby and calm him down.

If, after numerous tricks, you still fail to instill new rules for falling asleep in your baby, you should contact a child consultant. Based on observations of the child, a specialist will help identify possible problems and eliminate them.

When choosing a tactic, take a closer look at the baby

Babies should sleep at least 11 hours a day, but getting them into bed is not so easy. There are dozens of ways to put a restless baby to sleep. But, if this is the first-born, and the mother did not have younger brothers and sisters in childhood, it is easy to make a mistake and choose the wrong option.

Confusion arises even in the professional sphere among pediatricians and child psychologists - often specialists give diametrically opposed advice. Some advise swaddling a child before bedtime so that he cannot accidentally scratch himself with his nails in his sleep or hit himself while moving his arms and legs. Others recommend giving the baby complete freedom of action. There is no single solution - one baby will immediately fall asleep using one method, while the other will become overexcited and begin to be more capricious before bed.

When weaning the baby from falling asleep in her arms, the mother will have to rely on her own little experience and intuition. Carefully observe how and what your child reacts to. See what toys or melodies make him lively and alert - use them while he is awake. Use the same toys, sounds and music that make your child bored and yawning before bed. This will make it easier for the baby to calm down and fall asleep faster.

Features of sleep in the first month of life

A newborn baby sleeps for about 20 hours - sensitively and restlessly.
The baby often wakes up to eat and panics if he doesn’t feel his mother nearby. The baby eats on demand, and the mother has to choose: live the first months calmly, deciding to sleep together, or suffer, getting up at every cry of the baby.

Your child will not sleep with you until school age. It is possible to wean him from co-sleeping painlessly and quickly.

Contraindications for sleeping in a parent's bed are factors associated with the possibility of:

• to cripple;
• crush;
• suffocate the baby (large weight of the parents, uncontrolled movements during sleep, very large breasts of the mother, which can really cut off the baby’s oxygen supply);
• infect the baby...

Why don't children want to sleep?

Put yourself in the shoes of a newborn. Recently he felt warm and cozy, albeit quite cramped. He did not need to breathe or eat himself - all nutrients and oxygen entered the body through the umbilical cord from the placenta. And suddenly the calm atmosphere changes dramatically - the baby’s eyes hurt from too bright light, it’s cold in the air, he begins to understand what hunger is. In the first months of a child’s life, he or she will suffer from abdominal pain because the digestive system has not fully adapted to the new type of diet. Of course, the baby is scared, birth is a lot of stress for him. The baby calms down when a warm and kind mother takes him in her arms and feeds him milk. After eating, the baby quickly falls asleep so soundly that only really loud noises or some kind of discomfort will wake him up.

Baby's sleep is sensitive to physical discomfort. Make sure that there are no folds or irregularities on the clothes that can rub the skin, periodically check the diapers - they should be clean and dry. Babies may not sleep because the room temperature is too cold or too hot. Small children do not yet have hair on their heads, so it is worth wearing hats even in a warm room to prevent them from freezing.

If the baby is restless due to colic, you need to wait a little after feeding. Pull the baby vertically so that excess air comes out of the digestive tract along with the burp. You should not feed too early - if the intestines are full before bedtime, then the child will not be able to sleep, he will constantly need to go to the toilet. Foods with a laxative effect can interfere with sweet sleep—dirty diapers definitely won’t help you fall asleep comfortably.

Watch your own diet too. Avoid drinks containing caffeine while breastfeeding. Together with milk, these active substances will enter the child’s body, and he will sleep worse.