There is nothing better than mother's milk for a breastfeeding baby. Nature itself is designed in such a way that it contains everything necessary for the full development of the baby. Mothers feed both day and night, just so that their child grows and gains strength. Frequent feeding at night means a lack of a full night's sleep for the nursing mother herself, but she needs to rest in order to preserve breast milk. How to wean a child from breastfeeding at night, but maintain lactation? When is it better to wean a child off the breast completely, without compromising his health?
Night feedings
The importance of nighttime breastfeeding
Don’t think that your baby is “torturing” you, waking you up at night on purpose, or that you are doing something wrong. Night latching is a physiologically determined necessity, honed over millions of years of evolution, to maintain the full functioning and development of the “mother-baby” system. It's not that simple. What I mean?
Prolactin
This is a hormone due to which your breast produces milk in the quantities the baby needs, and its “reserves” are constantly replenished. The important thing is that the peak of prolactin production occurs at night or in the very early morning hours. Is it clear what you mean? By waking up at night and demanding the breast, the baby thus ensures the uninterrupted operation of the “milk factory”, stimulates the production of the hormone and the required amount of milk in the future.
Emotional contact with mother
Waking up and demanding boobs at night, the child not only says that he is hungry (children over one year old can sleep all night without refreshment), but also that he just wants to see his mother. He wants to be next to her, feel her warmth and the smell of her body, feel as if behind a stone wall. He may be scared or experiencing discomfort (for example, from teething). What's the best thing in the world? Of course, mom's boobs. It's that simple.
Duration of shallow and deep sleep phases
It has been proven that in children, the shallow sleep phase takes up about half of the total sleep duration per day.
And children sleep without waking up for about 5-6 hours, no more. During our usual 8-hour sleep, the child wakes up at least once, often because he is not yet able to sleep longer without interruption. Therefore, the statement “we only dream of peace” is so relevant in this case.
But kids grow up fast, sometimes it seems too fast. Therefore, children sooner or later outgrow all these night wakings, and the problem disappears by itself.
Is there a need for weaning?
Without a doubt, night feeding plays an important role in successful breastfeeding and the overall psycho-emotional development of the child. By surrounding your baby with care and not denying him the breast on demand even at night, you maintain his emotional balance, do not traumatize his psyche, and do not undermine his trust in yourself. You will see for yourself how the child will want and will sleep the whole night, separately from you (in due time, of course). And he will do this before his peers, who were limited in nightly contact with their mother.
Therefore, before deciding how to wean your baby off night feeding, decide what you want to achieve:
- stop breastfeeding completely;
- reduce the number of nightly applications;
- completely eliminate night feedings.
It’s worth saying right away that, having stopped breastfeeding completely, you will be horrified to discover that you won’t be able to get enough sleep.
The baby will wake up at night, perhaps even more often than before. And he wakes up not because he is hungry, but because he needs his mother. You can eliminate night feedings after six months, when the baby is already receiving some complementary foods. More latching at night is the last stage of a safe and gradual end to breastfeeding.
Therefore, decide for yourself whether you should deprive your baby of breast milk and contact with his mother at night, whether there is a vital need for this, and whether your child is too young for such changes in life (after all, it is stressful!).
However, after a year of children who receive a varied diet and gain weight well, asking for boobs at night becomes something of a habit. You notice that your breasts are no longer full and hard as before, the baby does not suck for long, may play with the nipple, is often distracted and asks to suck for comfort, entertainment, or just because. These are all signs that milk has ceased to play a major role in the baby’s nutrition. Therefore, there is no strong need for night feedings, except for emotional comfort. Gentle weaning may solve your problem.
How to wean a child from breastfeeding - general recommendations
How best to wean a child from breastfeeding is a pressing question for many mothers. The World Health Organization recommends feeding children with breast milk up to 2 years of age, and up to 6 months with only breast milk, without complementary foods or complementary foods.
Some women are of the opinion that it is necessary to feed until self-weaning, that is, until the baby himself refuses mother's milk. And this can happen either in one year or by 5 years. But most women still think that the optimal age for weaning a baby from breastfeeding is from one to two years.
General recommendations for weaning are as follows:
- the main thing is that the child is healthy at the time of weaning
- Since birth, the baby has doubled his weight
- It is better not to wean in the summer, as dehydration of the child’s body may occur.
- The baby does not suck fingers, a pacifier or a bottle, and does not “hang” on the chest
- the vaccination period has ended
- no active teething
Everything else is at the discretion of the mother, because only she knows what will be best for her baby.
Advice for parents: popular techniques
Having understood the goals and objectives, we will begin to implement them.
Next, we will talk about how to wean you off night feedings, how to reduce their number and what to do to ensure your baby sleeps peacefully at night. Remember that each child is individual; there is no single method or approach. What suits one child may not suit another. Just try, pick up the “keys” and then be sure to achieve your goal!
We're going backwards
Having thought about it, we guess that a child’s restful sleep at night is possible if his daily routine is adjusted.
Perhaps too much time is allocated for daytime sleep. Or maybe something is bothering the baby at night: hunger, tummy, teething. Therefore, we solve the problem depending on the situation:
- we reduce the total duration of daytime sleep by an hour and a half, watching the baby’s reaction;
- we help alleviate the discomfort from teething during the daytime with the help of teethers, and before bedtime we resort to special gels and suppositories;
- if the baby obviously does not eat enough and wakes up hungry in the middle of the night, replace feeding before bed with hearty porridge, vegetable or fruit puree, or give complementary foods after breastfeeding. A well-fed baby will sleep longer at night.
We are gradually reducing it to “no”
If your baby nurses more than once at night, try reducing the number of night feedings gradually.
Take one away, consolidate the achievement by practicing fewer feedings for several days. Once your baby is comfortable with one feeding per night, try removing it. Adult babies who already understand what adults are telling them or can even express their thoughts themselves in an elementary form can be explained and programmed for fewer applications. Say that “sisya will appear, when morning comes, the sun will rise,” explain that at night everyone sleeps, including sisya, and the baby, like sisya, and mom, and dad, needs to sleep.
Adapt your baby to you
Yes, it's that simple. If you don't plan to go to bed after putting your baby to bed, then use a little trick. Before you go to contemplate the coming dream, feed the child, even if he is fast asleep and may wake up. You may even have to rock your little one a little to get him back to sleep. But, you must admit, this is better than waking up half asleep in the middle of the night and going to a crying baby. This way, you may be able to sleep through the night without waking up. The child, by the way, too.
Let's connect dads
Why is it only us, mothers, who have to “take the rap” on the night shift? Children can easily fall asleep with their dads nearby. A man's hug can be no less tender than a mother's (we women don't know!). Let dad rock the baby in his arms, offer some water or a bottle, and put him to sleep next to him. Children often get used to falling asleep with their fathers, and after a while they calmly lay down and sleep without breastfeeding.
Give all your love
No matter how trivial it may sound, show your baby how much you love him, play with him, hug him, touch him more often. It is tactile contact, it is the mother’s company that is the wonderful medicine that the child so lacks. Children who receive this medicine in full are less likely to feel restless at night, do not cry to their mother when waking up, and in general, one might say, are quite happy and emotionally stable.
What not to do
In order for the process of weaning off breastfeeding at night to be successful, you should not:
- Impair the taste of breast milk. Many mothers continue to use the radical weaning method (both day and night). They smear their nipples with brilliant green, dip them in salt or mustard. It must be said that an unpleasant taste and frightening appearance can cause panic and real stress in a one-year-old child. But there are reviews of mothers who did this to stop night feedings of their 1.5-2 year old son or daughter, and it worked.
- Practice co-sleeping with your older toddler. Already 6 months after birth, it is necessary to teach the child to sleep on his own. If he is with you all the time at night, and you do not want to send him to another room, we recommend purchasing an additional crib.
- Do not teach your baby to listen to songs or stories while feeding. This will cause the wrong association to be created.
- It is not recommended to give your baby sweet drinks before going to bed (they contribute to the development of caries). You should also not give your baby kefir or yogurt at night instead of breast milk. You can replace these drinks with water from a bottle (when the baby also eats formula during the day) or from a cup (if he drinks breast milk during the day).
- At night, feed your baby only with the night light on. This trick will allow you to separate eating and sleeping.
This is NOT possible
The main thing you must understand is that you should only listen to your intuition.
If you feel that the child is ready to wean from the breast, in particular from night sessions, act boldly. Do you have any doubts? Save it for later. But often “good people,” perhaps not even out of malice, but from the series: “I wanted the best, but it turned out as always,” will give such advice that it makes your hair stand on end. In all places at once.
So, what NOT to do:
- “let it rip,” as they say in everyday life. Let yourself vent if you're nervous, but don't put that stress on your child. For some reason, the “leave him in the crib, leave the room and ignore crying and sobbing” technique, which has gained popularity in the post-Soviet space, is nothing more than ordinary abuse of a child. Well, the child will cry and protest in any case, not receiving the desired breast, but let him cry in the arms of his mother, who loves him, pities him, and distracts him.
There are studies that have proven the detrimental effect of such stressful situations on the development of a child’s brain. The risk of developing emotional instability and even mental problems in the future increases significantly. Do you want this for your child?;
- Deprivation of breasts during “critical periods.” These include periods of teething, adaptation to kindergarten, growth and development spurts, and illness. Wait out these difficult moments in your little one’s life (and it’s really not easy for him!), and then try again.
By the way, about kindergarten. If your breastfeeding period has dragged on until it’s time for your baby to go to kindergarten, and he’s still begging for his mother’s boobs, then it’s important to know one important rule. Before you think about how to wean your child before enrolling in a kindergarten, try to solve this problem a couple of months before you first visit this institution with your baby. Two extreme stresses at one time is too much;
- Along with “screaming,” we can highlight another popular method of our grandmothers, when a mother, leaving the child with the grandmother or other relatives, hides in an unknown direction for an indefinite time. Another great stress. The baby is scared, is with strangers (especially if grandmothers are rare guests), and his mother is not around. Did your mom leave you? Scary!
